I can afford a PI yes. I think that's really the only way I could do this. I suppose I can look into that. We're not living together at the moment so I don't have access to his phone or computer so that won't work.
I don't like that he goes and does so much with girls but I'm also not a jealous person and have always believed in the advice given to couples that you should allow each other to have their own lives and friends. Admittedly reading this website and the book has made me second guess that. . . I just never thought that he could or would have an affair. They're always out as a group of guys and girls. Some of the girls are engaged or married and not with their significant others either. But my H seems to be crossing the line with closeness.
Until posting here, I wasn't as worried about an affair as I am now. I always assumed that was just embracing freedom since leaving the military, acting like an immature college kid while getting a graduate degree. And being in school again started getting him to realize that what he truly wants in life is to not settle down, not be with a wife who doesn't go out overnight, doesn't live for constant excitement and social dates.