Unwritten, thanks for the insight. You are right it is an unwillingness on his part...but he does say he doesn't understand the way I think and what I mean when I talk. (I think it's just more of his way of ignoring me and making excuses.)
What are AO's?
The statement about "daycare" seems a bit harsh. I don't simply provide "daycare". I read bible stories and teach my granddaughter to be a lady that loves God. She doesn't get this at home (or at least not much) and certainly wouldn't get it from any local daycare. She is only a child of 5 and requires nurturing and protection and guidance and love. I am an adult. I can endure more than she and will for her sake. I have learned more of how to stand up for myself (boundaries by cloud/townsend) and it has helped a lot but I still have bad days and I know that in the long run something must be done regarding my marriage. However, I want to do what's right in God's eyes and what is best not only for myself but for those around me as well. I don't want to be selfish or act rashly. (Thus my seeking Godly counsel.)
As for going on AD's I refuse to do so as they have many side effects and it does nothing to solve the real issues. I am not an immediate danger to myself. I'm human and it does cross my mind but I'm sure that happens to many people who never carry through with the thought.

currently enrolled in the online program with coach