Originally Posted By: Pearlseeker
Quote:
Q: I've been spending a lot of time reading MB. Is there a way to search for threads where women find ways to persuade men to do counseling? I *think* the online course may work for us...IF he will be honest with himself and the person we're assigned to work with.
I'm thinking the way to get him to agree to the course may be that if he doesn't I'm moving out. This will take some time though as I have many things that need to be done, finding homes for animals, housing, etc. I'd like more input on this point though so hope to find in previous threads or start a new thread to learn more.


ShineOn,

As a formerly reluctant husband with an anger problem (among others) I can say that nothing changes ones direction like running into a solid wall. She drew a line and said "things must change,I can't go on like this." It was/is very painful to hear such things but sometimes it's the only thing that works.

We are currently in the middle of the MB home study course. It's been a rough ride and sometimes it feels like we're barely treading water. At the beginning of the program I had no hope of my own that MB could make a difference for us. I was acting/moving forward entirely on faith in what others were saying. But today, halfway through this part, I am feeling somewhat hopeful. This program does work if followed in it's entirety.

I just want to confirm what the other posters are telling you, nothing other than a solid wall of resolve is likely to get his attention. Then he will either choose to work on your relationship or it will be over.

These folks give excellent advice.


Pearlseeker....I can't thank you enough for your response. You are right...it took a solid wall to begin a change. The problem is it's very difficult for me as a woman to be that strong. It only happened with the Lords Help.

I appreciate your entire response but I'm needing to leave for the day so time is short.

I will say that my "news" is that after about a month of me literally being as withdrawn as possible but still showing respect and doing basic chores God answered prayers (Hubs and Mine!) and this weekend we went away for an impromptu overnight and day of relaxing and exploring. (We both enjoy the outdoors) Of course I told him simply and briefly that Id' go as long as he didn't grouch at me. We had an enjoyable time though I am still somewhat guarded, which may just be the way I need to be for a long while, there is cause for hope.


When I mentioned MB, he said he'd heard of them on the radio or something. (He drives long hours for his job) After talking for a few minutes and hitting some highlights of the program and discussing some general issues married couples encounter HUBBY AGREED to do the online course with me! PRAISE THE LORD.

I'm not young and dumb enough to think this is the end of all our troubles (and I thank you PS for your honest comments about working through the program) but it is a start and there is as your signature says....optimistic hope. :-)

I will read and comment more later. Thank you again dear fellow travelers for your time and assistance. May God Bless each of you. Thank you to those who prayed for us. God IS Faithful and Good. I've only been on this board for a few days and the Monday before I posted I was so sad I struggled all day with a huge emotional weight. I would have cried if it would have helped. I just wanted to disappear or somehow be transported to a place where I could feel loved and cared for. This board was an answered prayer and I'm sure it will be a huge asset as we go on the MB journey to a healthy marriage.

<<HUGS>>> to my MB friends :-)


currently enrolled in the online program with coach