I posted a long introduction in the military forum a few moments ago. Long story short -- married 26 years, sudden and brief separation in January, husband came home, a few months later, I learned of an infidelity while we were separated. A one night stand, basically.

Since learning of the infidelity, I've had just about all of the feelings except rage, which is the one I'd have expected to have. One of the feelings I have had is a desire for revenge. Just to make him understand the pain I'm feeling. I don't have any plans to act on this, but some days, I feel like I could go through with it given the right opportunity.

The other night, I was about an hour early to meet some girlfriends and was feeling that very strong urge for revenge. Instead of heading to the pub we were going to meet at, though, I decided to go for a walk. Our church is right around the corner. The door was open, and I went in and sat for a while. I prayed for guidance, and I felt an answer, to follow Jesus. I envisioned Him walking ahead of me, looking back and calling me forward. Even though I didn't know where the next steps would lead, He was clear that I should just follow Him, and I knew that He wouldn't lead me to revenge.

I hope that's the end of that desire for revenge. I just wanted to share that, in case it's helpful for someone else.

Married over 25 years
2 adult kids
Trying to h0ld0n