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Originally Posted by happyheart
Given that she moved out a long time ago, you can take your time and ask Dr. Harley.

Yes, I agree. Thanks.


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Originally Posted by happyheart
Wierdsituation,
You are giving her too much power in your mind.

Thank you so much. I have been giving her so much power in my mind. I am going to stop giving her so much power in my mind. High road has been always the route I have taken since the separation started and have been helping the children very well. All the lawyers have said she is not interested in the kids. This "woke" me up more than ever and I decided a long time ago to take the lead for my family in any ways I can. I do not know what her plans are. I am on my own and need to make sure the children are well loved and taken care of. If both parents go berserk then it is haywire.


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Originally Posted by happyheart
Your situation is somewhat difficult.
Your wife moved out more than a year ago..
Not correct. She kicked me out through a blindsided method.


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Hello all, after reading wifedivorcing and justthe3ofus I am going to try to save my marriage through MB. I will be posting looking for advice. Normal people do not know good advice.

The temporary order of protection has expired but we still have a divorce court date next month .. so I am still observing the order.

I also have feeling that wife filed for divorce because there maybe someone other than the overseas OM. From reading MB especially wifedivorcing and justthe3ofus's threads, her actions before and after serving me papers and even now fit exactly wayward profile. I have to say her affair with OM made me cause LBs during the marriage because I acted in such a way. It did not help. That was before I came across MB. What do I do next?


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You need to find out who this new OM is. You might need the services of a private investigator, but it is worth the cost to know precisely what you are up against. You will then need to do an effective exposure of the affair(s).

Last edited by mrEureka; 03/21/17 11:44 AM.

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Originally Posted by mrEureka
You need to find out who this new OM is. You might need the services of a private investigator, but it is worth the cost to know precisely what you are up against. You will then need to do an effective exposure of the affair(s).

Thank you mrEureka. That is the best and only way to go.


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Originally Posted by WierdSituation
Originally Posted by mrEureka
You need to find out who this new OM is. You might need the services of a private investigator, but it is worth the cost to know precisely what you are up against. You will then need to do an effective exposure of the affair(s).

Thank you mrEureka. That is the best and only way to go.
Are you going to hire a PI?


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Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by WierdSituation
Originally Posted by mrEureka
You need to find out who this new OM is. You might need the services of a private investigator, but it is worth the cost to know precisely what you are up against. You will then need to do an effective exposure of the affair(s).

Thank you mrEureka. That is the best and only way to go.
Are you going to hire a PI?

I want to. Our devices may be taken for computer forensics because she has been accessing my Cloud content from her place - long story - maybe for another day. She can then see that I have been accessing MB so often and she will probably look to see if our story is here. Then if she finds the thread she can use it in court. I am scared! Not sure if I should say much now on thread.


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I just found out that she rented our apartment twice when we went for a vacation overseas. We had gone for 1.5 months. I saw from reviews on her Airbnb profile. She rented it without telling me. I do not know where the money went. This happened in 2015 summer. It means she was preparing for divorce a long time ago. A lot of secrets keeping coming out. Should I show this to my lawyer and forensics psychiatrist who is doing child custody evaluation? Ha!

Last edited by WierdSituation; 03/24/17 01:31 PM.

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Originally Posted by WierdSituation
Originally Posted by BrainHurts
Originally Posted by WierdSituation
Originally Posted by mrEureka
You need to find out who this new OM is. You might need the services of a private investigator, but it is worth the cost to know precisely what you are up against. You will then need to do an effective exposure of the affair(s).

Thank you mrEureka. That is the best and only way to go.
Are you going to hire a PI?

I want to. Our devices may be taken for computer forensics because she has been accessing my Cloud content from her place - long story - maybe for another day. She can then see that I have been accessing MB so often and she will probably look to see if our story is here. Then if she finds the thread she can use it in court. I am scared! Not sure if I should say much now on thread.

I will know towards the end of next month if the computer forensics will happen. It may not even happen.


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Why do you think she removed me from her Linkedin profile?

She removed or blocked me from her Linkedin profile from around July till today. I am not sure why.

My thoughts:
1. I think she did not want me to prove to the court that she worked in the country where she had an affair. She left the employment on the paper she gave to court.

2. She also wanted to hide it to say she did not make money that year.

3. I also think she may have found another OM is on her Linkedin and may see me as connection on her Profile and would not like it.

Thank you.


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Any advice on child custody evaluation forensics?
We are going through child custody evaluation with a forensics psychiatrist. I find it like torture because I always fell I left a lot of information when answering questions and as if I was not prepared enough.

Has anyone gone through this ordeal?


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Have you changed your Cloud settings so she can't access it anymore?

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Originally Posted by apples123
Have you changed your Cloud settings so she can't access it anymore?

Yes, I disconnected the computer she was using but after the court asked us not to delete any files on our devices. She can access the old files and even my case files.


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They are images that were pouring into the cloud from Whatsapp group without me knowing. Someone had put my name in the group. The images are of all sorts and she has picked 4 images and videos out of hundreds of the them to try to paint picture of me that I am crazy and I am bad for kids. I never saw these images because I never opened them. In summary she is trying all sorts of ways to get me. When someone does this it is pretty scary especially when she knows I am not like the picture she wants to paint. This is the reason why my side wants to bring computer forensics. Spending money to counter lies gives me headaches. I hate it. It has made me broke..


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I would personally make a short outline of your lives, preferrably with pictures. You lived alone with the children when thy were 2 and 5, so you may want to tell that as well (was this a time where you can proof beyond reasonable doubt that she was conducting an affair?).
Don't give the impression that you think she is a monster. You want to be seen as cooperative and doing everything so that the children will have a relationship with both parents.
Stress your own interest and ability to maintain a healthy and stable home environment. If she has to work you can offer to take the children.

Last edited by happyheart; 03/25/17 02:41 AM.

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Originally Posted by happyheart
I would personally make a short outline of your lives, preferrably with pictures. You lived alone with the children when thy were 2 and 5, so you may want to tell that as well (was this a time where you can proof beyond reasonable doubt that she was conducting an affair?).
Don't give the impression that you think she is a monster. You want to be seen as cooperative and doing everything so that the children will have a relationship with both parents.
Stress your own interest and ability to maintain a healthy and stable home environment. If she has to work you can offer to take the children.

Thank you happyheart. she admitted to the affair. Her lies summed it up also. She says they were going shopping for a friend with that friend. She said she went to his apartment with other people for 15 minutes only. She said she walked to her apartment from the city with an old lady from work. It is dangerous and too long a distance in wee wee hours. All these activities were in one day. It turns out that all was not true and she spent time with him in his apartment. There were many body signs that gave way including a knee jerk when I told her that she was cheating with him. The body signs are still livid in my mind and are so scary. I suffer from them. I do not have texts between them They made it hard to find evidence as the OM had infringed in our marriage before and I had emailed him not to. I also had told her not do that.

I will stress what you mentioned about forensics. Thank you once again.


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What do you do with an Angry Wife?

My wife is very angry. The texts I get from her are crazy and show that.
As you know from the the court knows about the affair now. I am sure that has made her angrier. However she was still angry before this. We can only text or email about kids.

Is there a thread that says "What to do with an Angry Wife?" in the forum?

Like this one
What to do with an Angry Husband

I want to salvage this marriage.
What do I do?
What do I do when she writes angry texts?
What kind of texts should I write to her to make this marriage salvageable?
What else can I do to make it salvageable?


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Any tactics/suggestions on applying ENs and avoid LBers, do POJA(this one if applicable)when you are separated and can only email or text about kids? Thank you.

Last edited by WierdSituation; 03/25/17 09:08 AM.

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Originally Posted by WierdSituation
What do you do with an Angry Wife?

You expose the affair and wait for it to die a natural death.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

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If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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