I also want to say that it seems your ministry and image come before your marriage. You have an opportunity to save your marriage and keep your family together, but you don't want to take that step because it will tarnish your image. You will have a great image all the way to divorce court...

If you say that it is about protecting your wife's image, you are not really in control of her image and reputation. Any damage done to her reputation is done by having an affair, not by you telling the truth about your life. Do you see that distinction? Her image and reputation is based on her behavior, not you telling friends and family you need help.