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Darkguy Offline OP
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Yes. No contact

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WW engaged me with some fogged out relationship talk. I just replied with ok. She sounded sad. DS stayed the night with a family friend. She still in guest room looking pitiful.

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Originally Posted by Darkguy
...fogged out relationship talk.
Such as what?

Did you listen to her, and make it clear you were listening? Did you make it clear that you care about how she feels? "I just replied with OK" does not sound like it.


BW
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How she never loved me and I intentionally hurt her by separating the finances. How I am controlling and abusive. I simply stated ok and brought up current events in the news.

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Why do you call this "fogged out"?

Yes, she telling you this while conducting an affair, but that doesn't mean you should automatically dismiss it. In Plan A, you meet the needs she will allow you to meet. If she gives you clues about why she is not happy, you show her that you are listening. If you don't listen, how can you pull her back to the marriage? How can you put things right?

When did you separate the finances? (Sorry, your timeline is hard to follow.)

What does she mean by controlling and abusive?

The things is that you can dismiss her feelings as being "fog" talk, but you can't say that you are in Plan A while you do that. If you want to just give up, by all means do that. You are fully entitled.


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Darkguy Offline OP
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I called it fogged out cause she stated I’m controlling because I demanded she end her affair. When she last spoke to me prior to moving into the guest room. I stated that it would make me feel better if she would delete the social media app she is using to have this affair. I separated the finances over the weekend. I consulted with a lawyer prior to doing so. I left money in the account for her to buy food and gas. The rest is in another account. I’ve got proof that she was planning on draining the account prior to leaving. I wouldn’t have any money to care for DS and myself while she was overseas buying designer clothes.

I spoke with MIL today as well. She stated that WW still loves me. We had a long discussion of the timeline of events. When I got home WW was mad about this and called me a liar and controlling. I let her know her mother called me because she told MIL I took all the money. She became irate and said she hated me, I’m a liar, she needs space, how she doesn’t look at my messages (I don’t use social media BTW). I stated she is more than welcome too and I changed the subject. MIL stated she believes me (not holding my breath). MIL said she will call her and take to WW.

Last edited by Darkguy; 06/02/22 02:19 AM.
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Separating the finances was obviously vital - congratulations on protecting yourself and your son. (I just wasn't sure whether this had taken place much earlier, during the times you were arguing.)

Apart from taking necessary protective measures such as that, I'm only urging that you do not give her the impression that you dismiss everything she says. It's a fine line - but yes, there is definitely nothing worth responding to in fog talk.


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WW keeps texting DS that she loves him and such. She is still in the house and DS is on a school trip. I have decided to divorce per Dr. Harley's advice. Should I tell her to stop doing this? Or leave it be? I plan on going to Plan B.

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When is she leaving for school?

Are you going to be cutting off all contact between your son and her?

When are you filing for divorce?


FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.



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