Orchid ~

To control or not to control? Why does that have to be such a negative thing for the WS? It seems like it is blown out of proportion.

Good question. Here's what I think: I think that the WS are addicted. And addicts live in DENIAL (Don't Even Notice I Am Lying). Reality isn't something that they pay close attention too.

They want what they want (the fantasy) and when reality intrudes, temper tantrums result. I think that because we as BSs are the unwitting "cause" of reality slapping them in the face - that we are accused of "control" which in their terms simply means, not allowing their fantasy to happen. WS are selfish - it is all about THEM, and they can't imagine that our actions aren't about them also!

Addicts are frustrated control freaks! So when their control doesn't work they way they planned...it's someone elses fault!! Addicts don't have the exclusive on this attitude....I know I have a problem with this too. I do think that the problem is very very pronounced in an addiction situation though.

Pain is a given, misery is optional.