<B>Orchid</B> ~<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>To control or not to control? Why does that have to be such a negative thing for the WS? It seems like it is blown out of proportion.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Good question. Here's what I think: I think that the WS are addicted. And addicts live in DENIAL (Don't Even Notice I Am Lying). Reality isn't something that they pay close attention too.<P>They want what they want (the fantasy) and when reality intrudes, temper tantrums result. I think that because we as BSs are the unwitting "cause" of reality slapping them in the face - that we are accused of "control" which in their terms simply means, not allowing their fantasy to happen. WS are selfish - it is all about THEM, and they can't imagine that our actions aren't about them also!<P>Addicts are frustrated control freaks! So when their control doesn't work they way they planned...it's someone elses fault!! Addicts don't have the exclusive on this attitude....I know I have a problem with this too. I do think that the problem is very very pronounced in an addiction situation though.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>