Hi everyone,
Just a weird question. I keep having these thoughts, nightmares really, that somehow my WH is going to change into someone new in this relationship with OW. I keep wondering things like:

Will he change all his bad habits?
Become a much more caring and less selfish person?
Get all sexy and great for her?
Be a better husband for her than he was for me?
Did I bring out the worst in him and will she bring out the best?
You know, basically will he become Superman for her, when he has been Bozo for me.

Has anyone seen this happen with their WS, and if so, does it last?

Just asking,
S
P.S. Yes I love him despite his faults. Will she?

<small>[ August 27, 2002, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: uteconf footballwidow ]</small>

- Will he change all his bad habits?
No.

- Become a much more caring and less selfish person?
No.

- Get all sexy and great for her?
No.

- Be a better husband for her than he was for me?
No.

- Did I bring out the worst in him and will she bring out the best?

No and no.

- You know, basically will he become Superman for her, when he has been Bozo for me

No.

He may seem that way to the OW now, but the real him will shine through eventually. He will take everything that's wrong with him now wherever he goes. He can't just 'leave it' with you.

ST

Thanks S.T.
That was short and to the point. Why is it so easy to think that these things will happen? My sister-in-law says there is as much chance of these things happening as us winning the lottery. But still, it's just ONE of the things that eats away at my mind. I just want my BOZO back, bad habits and all. I think I fantasize their WONDERFUL life together as much as they do. I get so worked up thinking how great their life will be. It really gets to me sometimes.
S

I sympathize totaly. That was my reason for writing the "are they in love with the OP" post because I've been very upset, thinking that the man that I've loved for so long loves some else, and prob. even more than me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

But the good thing about posting is the variety of responses you get. It's theraputic for me, anyway. While I don't feel gret about that subject now, I feel much better than i did previously.

I think the statistics speak for themselves. I'm sure there a small number of affairs that end up as happy relationships and marriages, but the vast majority do not. And I agree with the first reply that any prob a WS has, will be carried over to the next relationship. IMO with an affair, it's just like the beg. of a "normal" relationship- you are on your best behavior. Eventually that will fade.

hi Libbie,
Yes, I feel better too. It is nice to know you are not alone. I guess the whole problem is the one word in your reply EVENTUALLY. Just how long and what will happen during the EVENTUALLY. I guess that is the struggle.
Love ya
S