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Hi Relate, Been reading some of your posts and have a few questions. ...... Only if you are comfortable. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thanks, L. <small>[ September 02, 2002, 11:22 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>
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Don't wanna. Sorry. You could say it out here, or PM me.
- Relate
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Relate,
I don't know what PM means. Sorry I am not real computer savy. Sorry if I intruded. I just tried to find your story and couldn't. No biggie.
It's ok.
L.
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Orchid, I don't think that relate has written a 'self-story'. Relate has written the following on various threads: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Initially written by relate: To Free2BMe - I was married, very conservatively, for 3.5 years. No affairs involved on either side. He wanted to have children and I wanted to do my Phd. We grew apart and split. My burning issue is that I am having a problem with bullying at work and I am stuck at home with it hanging over my head. This helps me to keep my mind occupied and stop myself from going over and over it and messing up the situation further. Plus I identify with you [Free2BMe] because my ex was sort of a bit violent, but I couldn't bring myself to give the marriage up immediately - it took about a year. So even though it wasn't infidelity I don't know which is worse. What do I identify with? The dillemmas associated with being with someone who's hurting you. I wanted to do my Phd. He said if I leave work and start studies, he would file for divorce. I registered for my studies. He filed for divorce. The divorce papers came through. I haven't looked back or set eyes on him since then. But by that time I was beginning to have a crush on my supervisor; this was what made it real easy. This is what always makes it easy. That's why I say get out there and start something that is interesting to you, and maybe ... who knows. To going_crazy - There were about 3-4 false recoveries before I threw in the towel and said no more. We did not have another woman involved - he went back and forth between his parents and me. But each time he went back I was a wreck. Only the Witnesses surrounded me and picked me up. So go to church and surround yourself with friends. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't know whether any of this answers your questions, but I thought I would have a look about. 'Talk' toyou soon.
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Dear OneDay, Thanks for the write-up. Relate has some interesting comments and I was just wondering. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Mahalo, L.
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Yeah, what is PM? I'm intigued now!
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There was some bullying at work about 11 months ago. I finally complained to the management and it was brought under control more or less.
Suddenly about 2 months ago it started up again. This time it was not just verbal: my computer was broken into, my files were being damaged. I reported the incidents and asked for some security measures to bring it under control. The computer officer made false complaints about me and they suspended me from work. A lot of false allegations about me. There is supposedly a hearing coming up and all sorts of things are being threatened.
I am really worried and down. Can't concentrate on anything. I have at least 1 year to go to finish my Phd.
- relate
<small>[ September 03, 2002, 08:21 AM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>
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Relate,
Thanks for letting us know more about your situation. Bullying at work brings pain similar to bullying in the family. A's are very much a bullying type of situation (somehow this sentence doesn't sound right but I just got up - LOL!!).
I am sorry for the way you are being treated. I can certainly concur. I have had such treatment in my previous employment and even some where I work now. For me, it took time, storing up proof and a lot of patience to finally prove my worth and show up the others lies. I know that at least, I can go to bed each night knowing my conscience is clean and that I am not a 'bully' in my actions towards others.
How can we help you?
take care,
L.
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Edited out. I'm in better control now. Thanks.
- relate
ps. PM (Private Messaging) is a service they have on some other forums, but I notice it is not available here.
<small>[ September 13, 2002, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>
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Relate, Stress comes from all sides and in all shapes and sizes. You sound like you have been through a lot and so I would not discount help. However, when work wants to send you somewhere for mental health, well just be careful. They may want to help but generally have the company's interest in mind as well ($$). Are you able to go to your doctor and let him know the stress you have been under? Instead of sleeping pills maybe a monitored type of ant-dep may be better. Some have more side effects than others. Depression often hits and goes undetected for quite a while. JMHO, L. ps: thanks for the clarification about PM. I have ICQ but I am not good at using it. E-mail works better for me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Relate,
With your story, I don't understand how you can be so sure so determined that Free2Be should reconcile. She's given a long effort, more than the year of tough times you say you gave your marriage, where you say "you never looked back".
Do you regret your divorce so strongly?
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relate, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Has anyone else ever felt like this?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It is sound like depression to me and also you just broke up w/ your BF. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>What does someone mean when they say 'sort yourself out'. My boyfriend said this when we broke up and I was upset. And now they tell me so when I am upset about work.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">IMO, they mean that they could not deal with your issues. Sound like you have some anger and other issues that you should try to work it out w/ professional such as IC. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Is it something about me that makes me a target? I cry very easily when I get upset. What can I change to make sure this never happens again in another place? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You need help & don't run away from it. Stay put and deal with the issues now ... otherwise where ever you go it will follows you. It is not them but look within you and do self introspection. Also w/ out LB ... sit down w/ your worst co-worker and get their feed back !. Ask them to pour out their discontent about you ... & just take it (listen) & don't be defensive (excuses) ... let her/him know that you appreciate their input and you will need time to digest this to be a better person and thank them. Good Luck.-RH-
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Lor,
Free's been miserable without him for years, even a couple of weeks ago. I feel that she will be miserable for years again if she lets him go, and then regret it. So I am advising plan A and reconcilliation.
RH,
My Mom says don't take any notice of them. Just smile at them and carry on with my work.
- relate
<small>[ September 13, 2002, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by relate:
<strong>RH,
My Mom says don't take any notice of them. Just smile at them and carry on with my work.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It might happen again in your next job or your next relationship. Otherwise you should take action w/ filing harasment.
I am curious about your situation. You seems know enough about MB and big advocate of plan A. What failed you w/ your exBF ?. Do you do 4 gifts of love ?, care (ENs), protect (noLB), time & honesty ?. -RH-
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We just split up last Feb. We were just getting to know each other - early days - and the work stresses got in the way. I found MB only after the split and started working on myself, because I didn't handle the last part of the relationship well. It's been 7 months since the split and I'm OK about him now. It is true what they say about the 6 month NC thing. Being here with the other broken uppers has really helped. Good news! Problems at work have been sorted out. I'm flying to a conference at a skii resort in Colorado next week. And then back to work and studies if all goes well. I'll probably be too busy to post much here from now on. Thanks, relate ps. I found this news story fascinating: http://edition.cnn.com/2002/TECH/science/09/13/pyramid.rover/index.html pps. You know what would really be useful, A WS site. Not the Phiilanderers Int. but a real WS site and a forum like this and the TOW site. We can gain a real insight. <small>[ September 14, 2002, 04:10 AM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>
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