Ok

Well my h is already experianceing majore withdrawl from his A partner, and were just one week in from a cometment! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

He has had contact this week for closeur, she wouldn't stop calling.So withdrawl while still haveing some contact? How much worse is it going to get when contact is realy gone.

How can I help my H through this?

How can I get through this knowing he loved her and is feeling very depressed about the fact that he's losing someone very close to him?

I need some support/ input please! This might be the second hardest time for me in my life.

It's hard enough dealing with a 9 month A and 6months seperation while he was living with her. But now I have a whole new set of issues and can't dump them on my H while he's going through this.

Please share, I'm espeshialy interesed to find out how the MM that were the WS's delt with withdrawl.

Also of course I need to hear from those of you who felt the hurt I'm going through , the having to deal with the withdrawl.

How did you cope?

How did you help your spouse cope?

How did your spouse help you cope?

Did you get back the feelings for your spouse that the A met?

You get my drift.

I'm very upset, please repliy.

No one has gone through this?

I can't be the only one.

I have never have experience in withdrawal of A but here is my oppinion.

Was N/C ever sent ?. This is a must and be short and dry and you send it to her. Pay a court server to give it to her.

How can I help my H through this?
Be patience ... reassure that you love H and let H greive. Start family activity and don't give H a slack time on his own.

How can I get through this knowing he loved her and is feeling very depressed about the fact that he's losing someone very close to him?
He made a choice and it is you. In-love feeling will be gone and you have to learn how to fillin that ENs, avoid LB, spend quality time and honesty. Giving time H will look back and regret what he has done ... that is acceptance stage.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I need some support/ input please! This might be the second hardest time for me in my life.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree ... knowing that the end will be a happy ending might help you better coping with the situation. But it is still hard.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>It's hard enough dealing with a 9 month A and 6months seperation while he was living with her. But now I have a whole new set of issues and can't dump them on my H while he's going through this.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Vent here and hang in there ... we all ears and shoulders to lean on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

Knowing that the feeling will fade and getting better over time is the key. Both of you should follow 4 rules of recovery and using POJA to negotiate.

-RH-

Thank you for your reply it helped some! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm just terified that he is going to do something inpulsive like sleep with her again and then he's back to where he started. I'm trying to be strong but I think I'm going to throw up!

I'm afriad that he's going to take the withdrawl feeling as I can't live with out her feeling again.

The were going to have a quick meeting to discuse some more closer after thier 2hr phone call (HE WANTED ME TO LISTEN TO IT) I agreed hesetently knowing it was going to steir some more feelings up. But what could I do he felt this was the last time to get things straight. That was 5 hours ago, I feel like I did in the beging. The late hours at the "office" the not being able to get through the cell. The same feelings before I knew about the A.

I don't know how to really cope with this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

you didn't answer about the no contact letter, if you sent one or not. he needs to decide if he wants to be in or out of the marriage first. if it's in, that means no contact! none, no 2 hour phone calls, no last visits for closure, the closure should have come when he made the decision to stay with you. from now on, she's gone to him totally! at least physically, there's no way you can make him stop the emotional attachment although i'm sure you'd love to! that will take both time and a very real effort on his part. as long as she is allowed to linger around the edges, there can be no healing of the relationship between you two. if he wants things to work out, he must be willing to make changes. after all, you're willing to watch the man you love moping around grieving another woman, the very least he can do is cut her loose if he truly wants to stay. and if you don't say something about this soon, it will probably just build up until the crack becomes to wide to cross. you must talk with him!

H&H,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I don't know how to really cope with this.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Read "How A should ends". You know every time there is a contact ... withdrawal starts from zero again. Take AD med, probably both of you.

JMHO -rh-

Hi HH,
I responded on your Recovery thread with the same name, are you ok?

Did he come home?