This is my real screen name.
today known as goodcatch(to conceal the truth <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> of what i really am, as she put it)


Some of you already posted on my situation before. And helped me quit a bit. As you see everythings at a head. And it seems as though my h does want to be with the ow. I just couldn't take it anymore and had to get a new screen name. Tried to show her in a anonimus way that her thoughts do not make any sence. But when more was said, lies, and the thought of all of being ok with the status quo, and the fact that she was passing herself off to be so sweet and careing about me. Well it mad me a tade angry. I have been comeing here for a bit. But post more on the other sight. Simply becouse we get to know eachother a little better, since there are few in number. But I now feel that I can't really post anyware. For obviouse resons. So ,??????? I might come back for closhore help. I don't know.

Thanks though for those of you that have helped me in the past.Sorry it got to personal. Maybe you can imagine , and see why I jumped in and posted. And only two of the posters were friends of mine. So she didn't get the answers she was looking for from the general population.

Hi HH,

I don't recognize either user name. Despite that fact, it was obvious both Kaniston and Decided want to do things their way regardless of what that means to others. If anyone else acted that way, they would be deemed as selfish.

Decided is following the WS rules perfectly. He and his OW will be 'miserably married'. They already are. Everytime the WS shows that he is either thinking of his family or even shows care for you, Kaniston will feel that the WS has commited 'emotional adultery' against her.

NOTE: That statement 'emotional adultery' is not mine. I must clarify that statement came straight from an OW herself.

The WS can't win anymore than he can sleep in 2 beds at the same time. All the honesty about the W telling the OW that he slept with his W sounds good in the fog but shows he has the capability to be disrespectful and hurtful to the OW without the BS lifting a finger.

Gotta really wonder about the WS state of mind and heart.

You and your H are both young (based on your sig thread). Well hon, you have a lot of your life ahead, don't waste it on someone who can't seem to 'decide' where to sleep. So much for his ability to decide. Doesn't even seem to be living up to his own given poster name. Hm..... makes one wonder what else in his life is he in denial on.

You know Mr. Decided has to tell us that he has 'decided' but he wasn't very convincing. Instead it makes me see just how undecided he really is.

Of course, I am an outsider to your situation as we all are to each other. But the opinion of those outsiders can often give us a clearer perception (a real perception) of what is really happening. How is that possible? Because it is seen and felt without the emotional strain that befalls those individually involved in any given situation.

So decided's claim about those of us here 'not knowing everything' ..... well no one really does but it sure doesn't stop the real message from coming across.

So in the meantime HH, pray for a clear mind and a calm heart. Your H may not want the clear mind and calm heart, or at least that is what his actions say.

JMHO,
L.

Hello H-H,

Actually, I like goodcatch. People who know you say you are.

Please stay around. We can decide who to respond to and how to respond. We can help you and would like to. We see your H and the OW for what they are. We know them. They are not unique. They are not special to us, but you are.

Keep posting. We care.

Estes

How are you holding up, H-H?

I hope you are well.

Heavy_Heart

Since I don't post much in this section, I missed all the furor. Reading this now, I am so sorry to see that apparently your H is more lost in the fog than ever. You have some good folk supporting you here on this thread, and I don't have much to add, except to echo Orchid's thoughts...praying for a clear mind and a calm heart.

Hugs--

Kathi

So sad.......and I was ready to actually say something nice to him! I have saved the juicy post that Miss. potty mouth spewed at goodcatch. It makes me laugh too much to delete it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My story...d-day Feb 2001. OW lived with us, 17 yr old student. No contact since d-day. Usually found on affairs-help but since site is down have to get my fix somewhere;)

hi, ok.now.

Welcome to MB. I know what you mean about "the fix." Look at the time I'm posting. Actually I just finished writing my first draft of the Plan B letter.

Be well.

hi ok.now,

i'm anxiously awaiting my e-card and virtual hugs...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

j/k

sorry to all who were offended by my last thread--it's obviously an emotionally-charged situation for all involved.

UC,

I've been trying to keep up with your posts---good luck, my thoughts are with you. She's lucky to have someone like you.

g'nite everyone.....no hard feelings, i hope. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hehehe decided, just send me your email adress and I will be right over in all my virtuality! Good to see you in better form tonight. I really like your w and had to defend her, she is one heck of a woman.
As for what I was going to say, well, I spose there is really no point if you are truly decided, but I do understand the love feelings for OW and the abiding love for your w. I saw my h go through it all and out the other side. The minute d-day happened, and he realised how deep my forgiveness and willingness to continue with him after all he had done was, that was the moment all of his love for me returned ten fold, and now almost 2 years on, we are so much deeper in love, so much more open with each other, conflict is resolved the day it starts, everything is so good. Please know this, that no matter how you feel about both women right now, nothing can take away the depth of what you had with your w, and time will only reveal that to you more and more. Also know that I can see through manipulation when it rears its ugly head, and your w is not a woman who has ever used that or played games. She never disses OW although she has had many opportunities to. She is fun, mature, wise, loving, so giving, non judgemental and kind.
Compare that even to one of the things OW said to her here and I quote,
"besides the fact that you are an absolute *****, it was probably. He found something better."
Decided you have not found anything better, you have emmersed yourself in something way way worse. Would you like to look at yourself in the mirror again and not hate yourself? Would you like to be the kind of man you thought you were last year? Would you like to have the kind of marriage you never thought possible? It is still within your reach. Don't lose her. She is and always will be the very best person that has ever been in your life. I think you know that deep down inside yourself. It is not too late.

Unfortunately, Affairs-help.com is experiencing server problems (I hope that's all it is).

Anyways, Dear UB:
I heard about your confrontation here (the internet grapevine)! Sounds like OW really has a few marbles loose. Hope you're ok and that things are working better for you. Keep us posted on how how you are.
Libby

Hi UB,
It's me, 2Hearts, from the other board. Just wanted to say hang in there. Things have gotten a little crazy with your situation the last couple of days but you've managed to hang on to your dignity while OW has certainly showed her true colors. For the life of me, I can't believe your H had the nerve to tell her you were posting at the affairs-help board knowing she'd lurk there reading all your posts. I know it's not a "private" forum but GEEZ what a rotten thing to do. The one place you've had to vent and find support and encouragement and now he's taken that away too. What else is this guy going to do??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I tell ya, UB, you've been a h*lluva lot more patient and understanding with both H and the OW than I ever could have in your situation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Decided, if you're listening, you don't deserve this gal. UB, (((Hugs))) to you. We're all thinking of you sweetie. Let us know if we can be of help.

Almost
(2Hearts)

<small>[ December 16, 2002, 06:09 PM: Message edited by: Almost There ]</small>

Thank you everyone from MB and Affairs-help!

I love you all! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I'm in an uncertain , interesting situation at the moment and feel reluctant to post about it. But a weird turn of events seems to be happening.

All I can say is cross your fingers for me and please keep me in your prayers.

Thank you again for all of your love and support.

I will try to keep you updated, but now is not the time.

oH and he didn't tell her about the sight really, she got the info from the inside of my book on affairs, that my h borowed. It had my member names etc. in it. So she knew, but didn't look at them I guess untill she got nervouse? I am upset that she posted, and read my posts on the boards that I need so badly. But what can I do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
UB/HH

<small>[ December 16, 2002, 06:26 PM: Message edited by: Heavy - Heart ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Heavy - Heart:
<strong>I'm in an uncertain , interesting situation at the moment and feel reluctant to post about it. But a weird turn of events seems to be happening.

I will try to keep you updated, but now is not the time.

oH and he didn't tell her about the sight really, she got the info from the inside of my book on affairs, that my h borowed. It had my member names etc. in it. So she knew, but didn't look at them I guess untill she got nervouse? I am upset that she posted, and read my posts on the boards that I need so badly. But what can I do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
UB/HH</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">A person I know visited a communist country, during some tense political uprisings. She saw the atrocities going on - propaganda in the US media, while food lines stretched for miles (no exaggeration) leading up to empty markets. Soap was a luxury! Toilet paper - 1 square for a nickle, US currency only please, sold outside the stall by an enterprising woman in rags... Upon finding out the press releases of impending threats coming over the airwaves in her home country were totally bogus - that things were much more threatening and severe, but carefully concealed to the public view, she returned to her hotel room fuming. Her travel companions asked her how she liked the tour of the castle... She said, "The longer I'm here the more I hate the communist government." Her companions pantomimed frantically at her, and finally were able to communicate to her that the rooms were bugged. She retorted, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"If they've got the nerve to listen in on private conversations, they're just going to have to take what I have to say."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And I'd say the same to you. If they've got the nerve to read your private pain, then they're just going to have to take what you have to say. Tough bananas!!

The only thing I wouldn't share is legal or recovery strategies. Keep them guessing on that end - develop an e-mail circle of friends to bounce ideas off of. Process your feelings, yes. Vent, DEFINITELY!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (Let her evil little mind boil with rage that she can't do anything but vent her spleen on him. Too bad. So sad.)

Keep this in mind. She's the dregs. Leftovers. And if he's willing to settle for moldy oldies, well then, what does that say? (Guess he's so fogged in he can't see, smell, or taste anything he's consuming there!) Some day, he'll wake up and like the prodigal son, wonder why he's settling for eating with the pigs?!

H-H,

You are in my prayers. Keep the faith and remain strong. Think of your little ones. They should/will be proud of you as a mother.

Be well.

H-H

Hi its me from the other board.

Just thinking about you today. Hang in their.

(((hugs)))

MTB

UB,
Loved the post from KaylaAndy. Some good advice there.

Almost (2Hearts)