Hello all my old friends. I see you post from time to time. I just wanted to give an update of my progress.

We went through 1 full year of counseling. 9 months weekly counseling followed by the rest of the year every 2 or 3 weeks visits. He was caught in several lies during our counseling sessions. Finally we divorced in December. I am so glad for the journey I went through in attempting to recover my marriage and the journey in finalizing the divorce. I love my Ex, I forgive him but I no longer want any part of the chaos and loss of peace that comes from his actions. He seems angry at me - says he didn't want the divorce (although his actions show otherwise). We haven't actually spoken for about 6 weeks. We have a set schedule and have both been sticking to it so there has been no need for conversations. We have emailed (business-like info) maybe twice. I am totally at peace with who I am. I would never have been this content alone in my life had it not been for that experience so for that I am very grateful. He will always hold a special place in my heart but I am finding that loving him and being with him have nothing to do with each other. Being with him is hazardous to my health so I choose to be happy and healthy alone. I have no intentions of making this sound sad although a lot of people here will take as a big loss. I see it as a great gain. I wish you all well. I hope if you desire your marriage to stay in tact that it does but please don't let it cost you your very soul.
Life is full of surprises and is a great joy no matter what the outcome. Keep the proper perspective and keep growing and striving to be the best you can be that way nothing you do is a waste of time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dear ILUV,
I've been wondering about you!! You sound wonderful. I have been thinking about calling you to see what all's been going on. My divorce was final March 13, just a week ago. So I am working on getting to the point you are, where I am totally at peace. I understand it takes a while, but we are doing well. How are your kids with all this? Does your ex call and see the kids?
Maybe we can talk on the phone. Take care, and thanks so much for updating us!!!!
KK

Hi ILUV,

I am happy you are at peace... You must of sensed some of us -in Houston especially- were wondering about you!

I only had your work contact, and email that I lost with a computer outage.... so please call me if you get a chance sometime or email lisaannsmail@yahoo.com

We spoke of you at the recent mb lunch! some of us who had met you before and wondered how you were... I heard you had been in touch with a houston mber- <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and am so thankful I met you when I did, you were a great friend.

I am sorry for the loss, but glad you consider it a win. I can see that --- that could be a great realization after the right work is done on the marriage and trying to rework things and put things back together correctly.

I am with you, if the ws does not do what it takes to have true intimacy and a good marriage, why settle with being lied to or a marriage that lacks in trust.... this too may happen to me.

My Wspouse and I are now in counseling for 4 months, a true miracle if you remember where I started... things are better than ever during this long seperation, but at this point quite deteriorated from where we were before the A. Sad.

I am so glad you are doing well! You are a great person and to be admired for your long hard work.

We may have another mb lunch soon, so keep posted just in case you want to say Hi.

I hope you are enjoying your new peace and serenity - which it sounds like you are.

Truly working through things is very healthy, and I am so glad my h and I are doing that. I said to him- let's at least figure out if we can work it out, or if we can't.... I am glad he is willing at least so far.

So glad for your update, do take care and I hope to see you or hear from you !

H

Hey ILuv!

I'm glad to hear you've resolved this in a way that makes sense for you and your family.

My very best wishes!

I Luv,

Congratulations! I think you are a success with the peaceful place you are. The personal recovery part of what I learned in MB is essential. That's the only thing we truly have control over. Not our WS or their behavior. I'm glad you updated us.

I'm sad for your WS who just couldn't get it. Keep us posted on how you're doing! Blessings, CSue