|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
Do you ever just give up on everything and say you are sick of fighting. I honestly just want to take off and tell my husband he can have the kids, take the house, furniture and whatever else he wants to take and just go away and never be found. That is how I feel right now.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 840
Member
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 840 |
yes, I was there.
In fact, I once checked out what it would take to emigrate to new zealand... why new zealand? because that's pretty much as far away from anyting as possible <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Now, I see things a bit differently. Firstly, I dont want to lose contact with my daughter. Secondly, I got many friends here. And thirdly, I like the big city with all its opportunities.
Still beats sheep farming in NZ by a mile.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
Member
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541 |
Goldie everyone hits a wall in from time to time.
Many even get suicidal due to the sense of hopelessness.
Wanting to run from it all is your mind's way of seeking a vacation from the stress and pain.
Its common for almost everyone to feel these things from time to time fortunately most never actually act on it.
No words of wisdom but perhaps it helps to know you are not alone in your thoughts...of course if you move to New Zealand and herd sheep then you would be alone! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
Yesterday my husband came to the house looking for money because he is broke for giving me money for child support, he is 3 payments behind on his truck payment, I have no money to give him. Then he wants sex off me and says its not the same with his gf. What is up with that?? His gf hangs up on me when his kids want to talk to him, she either says he is sleeping or in the shower. He also told me in the yesterday morning that his gf wasn't going to his sisters 4th of July party because I was going and he was going by himself and I said she is letting you go and he said she can't tell me what to do then he goes and tells his sister that they aren't going because I was going to be there. And this is why I want to take off and disappear.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Your H is definitely is one freedom fry short of a happy meal. I wonder if anybody has checked lately inside his head to see if his brain is still there.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
Please explain to me what all this means. I feel like I lost my mind.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by goldielocks109: <strong>Please explain to me what all this means. I feel like I lost my mind.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's not you that's lost her mind, it's your WH the one who has lost his.
Why aren't you in Plan B? <small>[ July 05, 2003, 12:10 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
Plan B he is not living here with his family he has been with her since X-mas night, coming home for 2 weeks in January and then coming home on our 14th wedding anniversary March 1st and going back to her April 1st.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
Ok and also I want to get something clear, even though my husband is still living with his gf and neither of us filed for divorce we are still married correct. His mother and his gf say it's like you arent' married anyway so it's ok.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Hi mother and GF are stupid.
No D, still married, having an A = adultery. In some areas it is a crime or a reason to grant a D.
Don't feel sorry for his financial lack of $$. Let him get it from the OW. Don't meet his needs for security. He needs to give you security.
Did you go to your SILs???
L.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755 |
Goldie,
I am so so sorry you are in the midst of this Xell. It is a true nightmare. Take care of you right now, and don't give in to the craziness that you are being pulled into.
Draw boundaries. REad the book boundaries if you get a chance. Have you read Surviving an Affair?
My heart goes out to you. Set limits on him, don't allow him in the house unless in plan a, and then only with you there.
How are you today?
Hugs and Hope, Honey
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
I am lousey today, I feel the same just like giving up and taking off, I don't want to be around here anymore, just take off.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Ok Goldi, while you are taking some time off....remember your 'breathing' exercises... ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Hugz, L. ps: Find a remote area to scream your lungs out is helpful. Take a friend so they can watch out for bears or something. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
But I want to just go and live somewhere, leave him the kids, the house, and everything we ever had. I am so depressed and I really think I lost my mind. Why is it getting worse instead of better? I thought it was getting better, all I ever do is cry and I don't care about anything. I am so broke, I have no money for anything. What do I do? I got 2 support checks and bought the kids clothes, sneakers, haircuts and groceries and I don't have anything left.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Why? They don't call it a roller coaster ride for nothin'.
Know that it will rock your world for a while. Up and down days will happen. Another thing, your needs are going to start speaking out and add to the confusion.
Know that what you are experiencing is quite normal. This stuff forces many to find the blood in the turnip and squeeze even more. You will find inner strength you never knew you had.
Quite par for the course......so stay on course and you will survive. In reality the battle is more than 1/2 won. You are just getting tired and that is totally understandable.
Not sure if this would make you feel better or not but your pain sounds way too familar.
Hugz, L.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
I just want my family back!!! How do I do it. God I know what I did was wrong how do I get my H to realize I am sorry??? God I love him.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
how do i get my husband back!!! And my family, away from his gf??
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Goldi,
Checking up on you this morning and well hon, sorry to see you are still in such an anxious state. I understand though having been there myself.
I must tell you that your current feelings are temporary. Your body will soon be giving you signals that it is just plain tired of what it has been put through and will soon poop out if you don't learn to rest up a bit.
Easy to say. Sing used to get out her 2x4 LB Fairie club and wack me over the head when I was like this a couple of years ago. Boy it doesn't seem like that long ago but it was. You know what? I needed it. I needed to be brought out of the A hole (no-pun intended - LOL!!!) and back to the real world. On top of the dirt, not under it.
What does this all mean? Well know this. You have already recognized your faults but by themselves they were not enough to make this A or it's continued mess. So now you need to STOP apologizing and work on making yourself healthier.
Do the breathing.....pratice patience. Pray for the clear mind and calm heart. You need it now more than ever. That way when drama hits your home again, you will be better equipped to meet it head on without it knocking you for a loop.
Hugz, L.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443
Member
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 443 |
My husband called and asked me to bring him cigerettes to work and I did, here he told his gf that I did, why would he do that?? Why does he tell her everything about him calliing me from work and whatever I say? Why is he doing this to me.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Why? Well when I asked my WS a similar question his foggy reply was....'as long as you are wiling to do stuff for me, I would be willing to use you.'
Let me tell you that was a real eye opener. He knew I was enabling him but I didn't. When I finally realized it, I put a stop to it ASAP!
Dried up that enabling well. NO MORE favors for an ungrateful WS!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
L.
|
|
|
0 members (),
725
guests, and
68
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,518
Members72,026
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|