As you can tell by sig. line, husband and I have been seperated since Dec. 2002. I had faith in him and thought he would come back to me and son. Instead, he has chosen to go a different route and has found himself another woman (this is the second other woman). I am conflicted as to what to do next. Plan B or plan D? I will have to wait on the divorce because h is currently deployed in Iraq. A copy of his e-mail follows:

truth

I was trying to work up my nerve to tell you this on the phone but i could not and i ran out of time. I have met someone here. The girl that everyone thinks i am with i really am with. I think we both agree that our marriage is over. I had planned on filing for divorce when i get back to the states. If you beat me to it than so be it. I do not plan to try and screw you over in it. But i don't blame you for not believing that. I am sorry for everything that happened in the past, Luna. But it happened so i have to deal with it. I love son very much. Please do not let him stop knowing that. I am sorry I have hurt you so much.


WH

Are you happy with all you've done? Is there anything more that you want from this marriage? Do you feel you will have closure if you divorce H?

Is your H still providing support for you and your son? If so and you don't want a divorce or at least don't want that on your conscience, then let H file if he has the balls! He got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it...

If you feel it is time to move on that is your decision. I know in my case I'll wait until W decides to file for DV. I don't think my W has the guts and I think she would be a fool. I'm in the military also and the medical benefits alone and the retirement benefits would be hard for my W to overcome. I have about 18 1/2 years in the service. If she puts in for divorce and I can prove her adultry she will get nothing when I retire.

Another route you may want to try is that in the military adultry is against the law. If your H is having an affair and you can prove it, you can contact his Commander or First Sgt and they can make life difficult for him. They can order him to stay away from OW and if he doesn't and they find out about it, he can be charged under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. You can go to your family support center at the base you are at and they can give you some good info.

I still love my W even though she has put me through hell. I don't plan on divorcing her and will fight her if she files. My 2 kids live with me and I will get custody if we do DV and it'll make life more difficult for her. I never thought I'd try to get anything from her, but after the crap she's pulled, I'll go for everything I can get! This, of course is a last resort. I want to eventually rebuild my marriage. I will wait. In the mean time, I plan of improving my life. I'm gonna do the things I want to do and I'm not gonna let her control me any longer. I hope you the best and please keep us posted...

lost,
My h has been pushing from day one for me to file for divorce. "I want you to file when you're ready." Makes you want to barf doesn't it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Anyway, I think this time he will file. Personally, I'm tired of dealing with the man. The only reason I can't let him go is that I know he will still be in my life because we have a son. I will never have closure because he will always be there. Who knows, the way he values money, I'm sure he would sign over all parental rights to me. Sad, huh?

I have no health benefits through my job. I'm sure I would qualify through the state though since I am low income. H has an allotment set up to my account which he cannot touch.

I am still looking at my options. I have tried both plan A and plan B. Plan A went well. Few LB's but not many. I never sent a letter for plan B. I'm thinking I will do that now.

Lunadove