Saw the lawyer today to go over the separation agreement. WW is h***bent on moving into her new house on may 18th. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> So what is the going thoughts on moving day. Do I help? or Do I sit back and say: "I will not stop you, but I certainly won't help" and sit back to watch while eating bon-bons.

Where will the kids be living after WW moves out?

Pep

i've heard it come from a couple of different ways, that helping them would show that you love and care for them but also that you can't control them and have to let them go but at the same time you don't necessarily have to help things along.

maybe a couple of things you could do is not offer to help her but while she is at the house and she asks for help to do it w/a smile. or you could just not be there at all. above all else continue to plan A and be pleasant.

prayers to you.

Yea, Binder, this is not an easy call. We've read about it both ways.

For the record, I helped my wife - some.

I think it's safe to say that she won't EXPECT you to help, so that's an argument to surprise her. Then again, she may expect you to be disruptive and NOT helping, but not disrupting either, may be an equal surprise.

I think sitting back and eating bon bons is not the answer. If you decide not to help, being gone is probably the best way so as not to flaunt your not helping.

However, you probably want to be there to make sure she doesn't take anything she's not entitled to, huh?

So maybe the best answer is to be there, not overtly help, don't do the bon bons, but sorta be surprising and upbeat and maybe facilitate somewhat to make the stressful situation less so.

Like I said, not an easy call.

WAT

I did not help my wife move out, except for a few items where I feared her friends might damage our house moving it.

I stayed at home.

I thought that seeing me there while she moved out might trigger some feeling of remorse for her Affair and for what she put me and our children through.

I was wrong.

If you think you should stay to protect your interests in the marital property do so. And eat all the damn bon bons you want to!

Thanks for the feedback. My guts tell me to be there, not that I expect to argue over aunt Edna's crocheted doilies, but to keep a list of what I need to replace to keep the household running. I plan on being pleasant, being helpful, but not overly so. The bon bons were never a consideration…….you should know me by now!

Pep, the kids will be at my place on every weekend. Every other weekend for me is a 4-day weekend, so I will have them a lot, over 40% of the time without requiring any childcare. I'm a heck of a cook and can keep a house running, but it will be a busy life. Once they both are in school and if this MB stuff doesn't pan out for me, we'll probably do a week and a week.

WAT, my lawyer says there is no benefits other than personal ones to have them at least 50% of the time. I know that would have been a battle with WW to try and get them more. I can't believe she let me have all the weekends as it is, but she has a relationship to service.

Binder - you're no dummy. I can tell. (Well, maybe I am and you are, too.)

Follow your gut. Do what you think is right and keeps you on the moral high ground. You'll probably be right.

Maybe keep a few Molson's in the frig instead of bon bons.

WAT