Well my tread is at just found out and it has been 2.5 months since D-Day my WW and I have been up and down on the roller coaster for the whole time. The OP has been out of town for 1 month but, I have found out W has talked to him almost every day since then and I am getting tired of this. I found out thru cell phone records and do not want to reveal the source for fear that she will no longer grant me access to them since she has done it once before but, I found the security code. She has lied and lied about the contact over and over. I finally asked her to tell me the truth Wednesday about the last time they had contact she was scared about how I found out she was still talking to him and confessed he called her at work that day but, then said she told everybody at work if ever call to tell him she is busy. She also told me she did not have his new number since he has just moved to a new city this week. I think I can hold on for another 3 weeks in Plan A and wait for the new cell bill to be posted to see if she is finally telling the truth but, my gut says why wait. I have 5 kids and Plan B will be a chore for me because I will be the one moving out, because I have family here and she does not. ANY INPUT WILL BE APPRECIATED <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Shad,

Sorry to see you are here. I can share in your pain. I can't believe you have 5 kids. I have two and it is killing me. I say wait for some expert advice, or post to PEP or ARK, or there are others but put expert in the subject line so you know you will get someone who can help with the Plan B having 5 kids. That is an enormous responsibility and you are going to need a lot of help with an intermediary and all. Good Luck and hang tight!

HINY

Well found out WW talked to OP on the phone for 2 hours on Monday she said it was to tell him not to call but, I don't know what to believe I need to go to plan B. What do I need to do what if it was to say goodbye. HELP HELP HELP <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .

Don't move out. DO NOT MOVE OUT!!!!!

Have you exposed to all?

I am not an expert at all. But I see your deperate to get help. I also amd debating myself to plan B or not to plan B.

Please know that Plan be is not magic, it may not bring your spouse back. You have to be ready when you go in.

Prayers with you and your kids.

Hi Shad,

To echo WAT's reply DO NOT MOVE OUT.This will be detrimental to both you and your kids.Doing a Plan B will be very hard,yes but you have family there and I hope you will call upon them to help you in this most dire time.Your WW is the one having the A.Don't make it easy on her by leaving.SHE has to be the one to find out what it's like living in fantasy land.Where she can have all the "comforts" of adultery BUT less time with her children,less financial support,finding a place to live,trying to fit in time to see OM,etc,etc.

Also,don't believe your WW for one new york minute.That excuse about why she talked to him and to not call her is bullcookies.

So,have you spoken to your family yet about how to help you?? Get ready for some potential legal action if need be.By that I mean you need to protect yourself and those 5 kids.If WW puts up a stink about leaving then you have to be sure you mean business and don't let her steamroll you.If WW wants to have her OM then she goes.Plain and simple.

O

<small>[ May 19, 2004, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

Thank you all for replying. I am not going to move away or file for the final decree. I am going to stay and let WW decide what to do I am at peace with myself and I know God will be done. Wife wants us to pack up and move to another city because to many people know about the A here. If I thougt it would change things I would but, she was unhappy before we moved here and she needs to be happy today there is no garuntee for tomarrow. Again thanks

Yesterday I found out OP is still calling I told her I was not moving out and she said fine she was going with him and is tired of the whole situation. I think I should not have stopped her but, I love her and could not bare to see her go with the OP. While we were talking OP called her she still say she is not talking to him, but why is he still calling <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . I am so confused she says if I fight for the children she will just give them up. What kind of mother would do that. well any help would be appreciated.

Shad (Just a bait fish)

Who is this guy? Is he married?

Shad, I really think that this affair would end pretty quickly if you would let her go and move into Plan B. That will give her a much needed dose of reality that will slap her awake. Things will not change if you continue on as you are.

She simply has no motivation to end her affair as it is now and will only continue to lie and sneak around. I really think if you want to end this affair you are going to have to tell her to go and give her a nice Plan B letter.

This has to be destroying your family and hurting your kids as it is now. Having her leave will take you and the children out of her sleazy affair and will give the affair the greatest chance of ending.

The Guy is a 25 year old unemployed man that my W found at a party and pursued. He fell for the W and she for him, because he had all the time for her and was young. Having a 10year younger man fall for her made her feel young. I tell her everyday she is buetiful and that I love her but it takes someone else for her to believe it. Now all that is left is the remnant of a 14 year M and a shell of a man. She got pregnant and had an abortion. She is getting stranger by the day. Yesterday, we had a fight over the continueing contact and she treatened to leave and join him. Then she asked me last night that she wants another baby because of the guilt ( I am fixed). Today she wants me to buy her another wedding ring to replace the one she pawned. I can't figure her out. She quit her job and I need to work this weekend to pay the bills.

Shad (Just a bait fish)

WS left yesterday afternoon to go shopping 8 hour later she called me to say she was at the beach and had been drinking and could not come home she did not tell me where she was and waas staying. I was with the 4 boys and I needed to go to work this morning. I will be going into plan B tomarrow and will kick her out of the house today. It will be hard to find someone to take care of the children but I will manage. I don't know why she is doing this to us but she cannot stop the contact with OP. Help <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Shad, just calm yourself down and read my last post. Its time to take her up on her offer. Tell her you have thought about it and are now ready to take her up on her offer to leave, that the family has had enough. Tell her that you love her much but you understand her decision to move.

Then help her pack.

Then come back here and let us help you write a nice Plan B letter.