What do you do whent he OW goes to the same church? I did not do anything wrong why should I have to find a new church. My husband stopped going when he left me. They are still together and she doesn't go regularly anymore but I still have that chance every Sunday to see her. She sits with her Mom and I sit with my in-laws.

Expose her. Watch the fireworks. Enjoy the show. This is one exposure that almost can't fail. There will be consequences..if there are not..you should be seeking a new church.

Pretty much everyone knows but we all need to be nice and not gossip about it!UGH!She told our Pastor when he confronted her to stay out of it and if she needed advice from him she would come to him.They all want to support me but love her at the same time.

Is this a christian church? If so leave it immediately..it is out of accordance with scripture. She and your husband both should have been removed from the congregation. Church is not a social event..it is a place of worship..remember..God is not mocked. I have seen pastors removed for less, and they were repentant.

Yeah it is a christian church. I know it seems so wierd that nothing is being done. They do not have 100%proof of the affair other than...she left her H Feb 23 and my H left the Feb 22.Phone records (1200-1500min a mth) and him telling me they have feelings.But they have had no coming out party but I don't know what more prove to get everyone knows they are together. Oh, I do have a him on tape saying he is sorry for what he has done but that is not enough for everone I need pictures I guess because they both say they are just good friends going through a hard time because they were so unhappy in their marriages.

With or without concrete proof..their relationship is inappropriate. They have your word..so one of you is lying. They should be investigating whom is the wolf among their sheep.

The circumstantial evidence is overwhelming. I advise that you press the issue..or leave them to their lukewarmness with regard to upholding standards of common decency within their congregation.

No, you did nothing wrong and 'should" not have to leave your church as a result of their affair. your pastor and the congrergation want to love you and the OW so nothing is being done.

my question to you: Can you truly worship God in the midst of this situation? Who is at fault is not the issue at this point. You deserve to be in a safe, loving congregation where you can worship and serve the Lord.

I would advise you to find another church where this issue is not the subject of pain, gossip and negativity in a place that you should feel none of those things.

Make a new start and find a new chuech home, you will find spiritual renewal when you are not in the middle of a soap opera in the pews. Prayers to you, Ladysing

My FWH's OW's son was in our Scout Troop. My H is the leader (her son is the same age as my oldest son). At first, especially while I knew they talked and emailed each day, I was furious that he would expose our boys to them being together on Scout trips. I didn't think it was healthy. My FWH also moved out - OW was a single mom.

Anyway, I stopped going to the meetings, because I had a VERY hard time controlling myself, and I didn't want to do anything in a room filled with children. I didn't see how it could ever work out. Several of the other leaders knew, and they did nothing. Nothing really can be done without making huge scenes and creating lots of gossip.

Anyway, I waited it out. After 3 months, my H came out of the fog, came home, and we are in recovery. OW claimed her son wanted to continue the program, and wouldn't change Troops simply because of things "I" may have told others in the Troop (yep, somehow, it was MY fault she was embarassed by her OWN actions, but I digress).

Since H has come home and had NC, she has not come to Scouts. At first it was because of baseball season, but that has been over for a while. I will know for sure when she doesn't re-register her son in October if she is coming back or not.

I guess my point is, sometimes, these things work themselves out. If you feel uncomfortable worshiping God at that church with her there, go to another for a while, visit some of your friends' churches with them, have fun.

Each individual has a breaking point, a point that this ONE thing is not tolerable anymore. If you are there with this issue, do something different - you can only control you. BUT, if it just SEEMS wrong, but isn't interfering with your worship, I think you should stay. Let HER be the one to leave is she feels uncomfortable - as she certainly MUST. Maybe this is God's way of working in her heart.

Before making any decisions about this, pray. Ask the Lord where he wishes for you to be right now. This IS His Plan, is it not?

Take care.

SS

God forgivness is there..tho.. let them go.. and Dont stop going..Ever wonder why they are not there..these days? Are they all Christians???
Conviction is a strong factor here..
No it isnt easy to see her there or possibly him either.. Butlook at it this way.. apparently they are feeling guilty why else stop going?
Unless they are in the ministry and activly in the church.. sending them out isnt the answer.. If they are active somewhere..in the church and not repentant.. then they should be removed from any of those positions.. But Church is for the sinners and the Christians alike.. The only difference is God grace...and even those that are backslidden into this life.. needs mpral lessons.. Who is to say that one day she comes and the talk is on a subject that leads her away from this affair?
Maybe those who are closer to her can get her to see the error of her ways.. I am sure she knows hence telling the pastor what she said.
Most affairs will die on their own.. the romance and the issues will flare up.. People who are in these relationships if just let it take its own course..
I see as long as you try and interfere to get them back the more they will run to it.. They are like rebellous teens.. If your holding on and trying to control the spouse it will never work out.. they may leave the realtionship but will find someone else somewhere else..

God Bless

Linda

I hate to dither here...but I'm concerned about her congregations lack of concern.

Unrepentant sinning is not to be tolerated in the church. They are to be approached and rebuked..and if it continues [let's see..her response was butt out..] they are to be cast out until and unless they repent. So tolerating the affair is not only cruel and unsupportive to 2km..it is flatout unscriptural. 1 Corinthians 5 makes this very..very clear. This entire chapter deals almost exclusively with this situation..the verdict?

5.3 " hand this man over to satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord"

5.6 "Do you not know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough?"

5.12 "For what have I to do with judging those outside? Is it not those who are inside that you are to judge? God will judge those outside. Drive out the wicked person from among you."

That seems pretty cut and dried to me..I do not see how it could be taken another way without compromising scripture. Any thoughts?

Yes Noodle, I see that the church in question is NOT going to do anything to deal with the issue. They have taken the approach of : Let's love everyone and accept everyone where they are. It seems to be a new age way of dealing with the truths of the gospel. Many churches have abandoned the scriptures because they are afraid of "offending" anyone.

What they do not realize is that by telling their congregations that they are welcome regardless of their sins and lack of repentance, they are not upholding the Word of God.

We are ALL sinners and everyone should be welcome in the church. The key here is that when we come to church, the church has the responsibility to teach God's word and that includes turning away from sin and asking for forgiveness. This is the part that seems to be missing in the church in question.

For those reasons, I feel that 2kidsmom needs to find another church home. She is not going to change the position of her church and I do not know how she could worship there knowing that the affair was being ignored and in effect, condoned.

A new church could give Mom and her kids a new start away from the ugliness associated with the affair. Just my 2 cents...