Well, I am just outright MAD! It's one thing for my WH not to call to talk to me....actually don't want to talk to him but for him not to call to talk to our son is mean! He hasn't talked to him since Thursday. It just makes me so mad!
My friend saw him Saturday and she said he barely spoke to her.....embarrassed of course! I just don't know how it's going to work out with my son playing ball with my H coaching! How am I going to do this??????

I was thinking......when my H confessed to the A...he said he had to come clean because it was killing him inside...he said that when he was with her he missed me...and vice versa. So, does that mean that if I stick to Plan B that he could come around? Actually I'm starting to think I don't even want him back anyway. I guess that's my anger coming through. He keeps saying that I need to get on with my life and if he wants me back it will be his loss. YEAH>.....he's got that right!
Any advice????

Stick to Plan B. Him coaching your son is a great chance for you to shine, without having to converse with about anything other than you son.

It is very good for your son to have this with sport with his Dad.

I think you will be in a superb position - just stick to the Plan!

I'll give it my best shot! How do I get over this sadness? I just want to be happy!!!!! I'm sick of crying!!!!!!

TR -

Are you on A/D's? I am on Lexapro and it has literally been the best thing I have ever done for myself.

TR...my WH did the very same thing to our children...out of sight, out of mind. The first six months were the worst for me, as he wanted nothing to do with any of us. In spite of what happens to your relationship with H, he will eventually come round with all of you, and return to some semblance of the H and father he once was. In all honesty, I ranted, raved, called him every name under the sun for how he treated his children. It fell short of ever hitting the mark. However, when he started to come round and saw how his children had changed toward him...he cannot do enough now to be there for them. Doesn't make OW happy, I'll tell u that, but you know what...who cares.

I am going to the doc to get on Anti-D. I need something to take the edge off. I just can't seem to get a grip on things.

I hope my H comes around one day. He just tried calling here but didn't leave a message. I am not answering his calls. If my son had been here I would have let him answer. I refuse to talk to him right now. I just don't know how he can think that our son will be fine through all of this. Is he crazy??????????

Treereich, please understand that I mean this kindly. I definitely agree that you need to talk with your doc about AD's. You still have very little control over your emotions. No one can control their emotions all of the time, but the more you give in to them, the more negatively they affect you. It is ok to cry, it is ok to hurt, it is ok to be angry. But there is somewhere where you have to draw the line.

I have been following your posts closely because I am concerned for you. Many of your posts are done in panic-mode and this cannot be good for you if this is really the way you are always feeling. Panic mode brings out flight or fight and neither of these are good for you, your son or your M.

I understand if this is just your way of getting things out and you need a place to let go. Perhaps you should think about writing a letter to your H about everything you're angry about, hurt about, everything you wished and hoped for, everything you are trying to do to get what you want. Say the things you know you can do alone, admit to the things you need help with. Say the things you want but don't expect...and say the things you believe are possible. BUT...do NOT mail this letter. Once you've written it..if you still feel like you need someone to talk you through it..post it here. By writing all of this down you will be able to organize your thoughts and articulate them better. They will not be running around your head in a confused mess trying to force their way out any way they can. I bet your mind is a mess right now and you don't even KNOW what to think about. You start thinking about one thing and do not even complete the thought before your mind moves to the next thing. Then you move back to the last thing then onto the next, etc etc. Writing all of this down will help you at least focus.

Would you consider doing this? REmember, no matter how good you think the letter is you musn't send it to you H. A lot of us here would like to help you but it is difficult to get through to you through your panic. It is like a drowning person who panics and cannot let the lifeguard help her. Help us help you, ok?

Thank you!!!! I will write that letter tonight and keep it in a safe place. I guess sometimes I feel so hopeless and lost. I'm sure it's all normal. I really want everyone's help and welcome any advice that I get. I just want to be able to move forward.

Treereich - My heart goes out to you. I have been reading your posts and know exactly how you feel. I have worked through a lot of my depression and heartache by staying busy. Keeping a journal is also very therapeutic. It helps just to get out of the house. What are you doing to keep busy?

I'm walking in the morning and evening. In between that I'm working and then when my son gets home from school we are busy doing homework and soon we will be running to the ball field. I'm really trying to keep busy. I just get these waves of sadness. I just feel alone and like the world is crashing down on me. I know in time it will get better.
I just have so much anger and sadness....Before all of this came out about the A...I was trying to get pregnant. To my surprise...my H never wanted a baby. I found out that I have early ovarian aging and if I don't do something soon that I won't be able to have anymore children. Now, of course my chances are even lower and I'm trying to come to grips that my DS will be my only child. I feel like my dreams were stripped from me. I was in the middle of going to a fertility doc. and everything!!!! My hope for a big family has died. I'm dealing with those emotions along with my WH affair. I guess right now I have a lot to deal with and am doing the best I can.
I'm trying to read as much as possible to help heal the hurt.

My son just tried to call his dad back and once again no answer. He'll call wanting to talk to our son and when our son tries to call back he's not around. That just frustrates me!!!!

TR, my prayers are with you. Know exactly how you feel.

Tree, I thought you got on an AD a few weeks ago. Listen, if your doc thinks Lexapro will work for you get on that. It is very fast acting. It will take this edge off of you and help you cope. Please do this ASAP. Hugs to you! CV

CV...yeah, I was supposed to go to the doc but had to cancel..My H didn't pay a couple of bills that I had to take care of so I wasn't able to go to the doc. My parents are helping me out right now until I get on my feet so I will be able to go to the doc. this week. Thank goodness!!!!!!!
My H hasn't even asked if our son needs anything for school or anything. He is in desperate need opf clothes and shoes. Thank God for firneds becasue they have given me some hand-me-downs. My son is only 8 but is already in a 9 in mens shoe. My H is 6'5 so my son is a tall boy!!!!

Why does it hurt so bad when H calls to talk to son and doesn't even ask about me or how I am? God....that just kills me!!!!!

I've had a headache in the same spot for 3 weeks....could this be stress or something else. It's driving me crazy!!!!

TR, if your in Plan B, Don't ask your son if WH asked about you. Remember that you are staying dark not only to deny him the needs you used to provide but also to protect yourself from being hurt by him.

He is thoughtless. I can't believe a man not providing for his family. Especially a child. For such a tall guy, he doesn't seem like much of a man. Perhaps he was once.

There is no excuse for financially abandoning DS. Good Grief! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Was a fair provider in the past? Or selfish like now.

And TR,
Stress can take a terrible toll on your body, both short term and long term. I hope you get a handle on it soon. And recognize some of the warning symptoms.

It can lead to long term ailments if not addressed early.

Still thinking of you and DS. Keep the faith.

TomJoad....
My H has turned into someone that I don't know. He would have never done these things before. He has turned into a very selfish person. I can't even believe it. I'm the one here in our home taking care of everything. We have several animals and I've had to take care of the hurricane damage in our yard......EVERYTHING....while he's jusy worrying about himself and OW. It's just so unfair. I really don't know that at the end of this I will want him back. There has got to be a better man out there who appreciates a loving woman who loves with all her heart. I try not to ask my son too much when he talks to his dad. My son says things on his own. He'll ask his dad why he doesn't want to be with me or why he doesn't tell me he loves me. It's so hard to hear him asking those questions. I try to tell my son that everything will be ok and that he needs to just worry about having fun and let me worry about all the adult stuff. He's extremely sensitive though. He worries about me.
I've noticed that he hasn't been wanting to call his dad as much and not wanting to do things with him. I guess in his own little way he sees that daddy is the one that is causing all of this. I don't want this to come between them but my son is very smart. I'm trying my best to protect him from hurt. Any suggestions as to what to say to my son about what is going on??????
He is constantly asking me.

it hurts because you want to feel loved again. I feel the same. We are in the same house (so far) and we dont talk but she carries on over the phone with whoever happy as a clam. It sounds like we are in exactly the same situation just in your case its your h and in mine its my W.

Im off to the gym to make myself more healthier....i hope your day is a good one. and remember...if you feel something grabbing you thats me and my hugs..!!..so dont resist <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

please take care