So I met with my WH at my atty's office today (he didn't retain one, so we're letting my atty handle it). I knew this experience would be difficult for two reasons. First, because I rarely see him these days and always get very nervous beforehand. Second, because I'm meeting the man I want to spend the rest of my life with in the one office I NEVER thought we'd find ourselves in. It was gut wrenching and horrible.

He and I barely talked, letting my attorney do all the talking. We really didn't even look at each other much. At the end, I raced out of the offices as the tears came streaming down my face. I felt like I was suffocating in there, but the experience didn't seem to phase him one bit. Just another appointment to ruin his otherwise perfect day, I'm sure. That kills me. I didn't see a glimmer of emotional anywhere on his person.

So, that was it. It's over. I'll never see or talk to him again. I don't know how to feel about that. Immense pain for losing my best friend, the man I loved, and my lover, here today, gone tomorrow. But I suppose I may begin to feel relief that we never have to see each other again. Seeing him or talking to him won't plummet me into this dark hole that I find myself tonight.

It's dark, cold and lonely down here. My head is throbbing, my heart is pounding, and I have an ever-increasing lump in my throat.

It wasn't supposed to end this way. It was never supposed to end this way...

(((((Dazed)))))))

Don't feel too lonely down there in your dark hole. There are a lot of us there with you.

What a horrible experience. One that no one should ever have to go thru. Or ever thought they would.

I don't have any advice. But you are in my thoughts and prayers.

(((((Dazed))))))

K

I do not know what to say except I am sorry. I felt the same way when I went to atty to discuss my husband leaving me and what I was supposed to do.

I wish I could make it better but I cannot. I will keep you in my prayers.

DazedinCA,

I wish you the best, I feel bad for you. Your post contains similarities to my situation. Though my WW and I haven't gone down the seperation/divorce road yet, in so many ways it seems inevitable. I haven't seen, or spoken to her in days, save for a Yahoo chat here and there.

Hang in there. I find a lot of uplifting support here on MB, and I know that you can too. I truly hope for the best for you.

Dimmu

Thanks so much for your support, everyone. I am at the bottom tonight. I hope I won't be here long. And I guess there's only way one out...