I went to a neighbors house yeasterday to ask what happen and they told me about whats been happening to WW and I got tears in my eyes.....as I was standing there WW and OM pulled up...I walked towards OM and told him that I want to talk to him......He said I have nothing to say to you ....I said thats because you are a wife beater and you beat up on girls....and you are a little *****and a ******....I told him why don't you step across the street and and lets see if you can hit a real man............He said you child molester...I said ask ww for the truth.....you wife beater......He went in to the house....as he was heading in I shouted to D if he lays a hand on you ....let me know...........Found out one time he strangled WW in front of people until she almost passed out....another time he banged her head in to the bedroom wall.......another time her through her across the garage.......through a bottle at her.......what can I do to save this girl from herself.........

<small>[ November 04, 2004, 04:53 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

GET YOUR DAUGHTER WAY FROM THAT MADMAN NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

**** the law, kidnap her if you need to. DO IT RIGHT NOW.

Oh Frank DEAR GOD I wish I lived near you !!

Your WW chooses to be there - she is a secondary concern.

GET MEAGAN OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<small>[ November 04, 2004, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: Justuss ]</small>

This guy sounds like he's in serious need of some "anger management" counseling. If you lived in my part of the country, I could recommend a couple of good "counselors". They're method is a bit radical, but is know for very rapid results...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Found out one time he strangled WW in front of people until she almost passed out....another time he banged her head in to the bedroom wall.......another time her through her across the garage.......through a bottle at her.......what can I do to save this girl from herself......... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You can begin by calling Social Services and reporting a dangerous situation for your daughter's safety. Insist upon an investigation that includes witnessess to the violence.

Use all the legal resources at your disposal to fight for your daughter to get her out of that place permanently. As for your wife, I feel for her, but until she chooses to not put up with the abuse, there is little that you can do for her. Perhaps outside agencies getting involved will begin to shed more light and she might finally be able to begin to see the OM for what he really is.

God bless.

Frank, I agree with Bob...it's up to you to protect your daughter right now. Telling her to 'tell you if he lays a hand on her' isn't going to cut it..by then the damage will be done....again, I'm with Bob..no way would I let my daughter live in that situation.
Protect her now, before she gets hurt physically...you can't change the fact that she's watching her mother destroy herself and letting this scumbag control her body and life..that damage is done...right now..today..you need to get your D out of that situation!

<small>[ November 04, 2004, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: dreamcatcher ]</small>

frank...initial reaction is what bob siad...well, come to think of it, that stays the same: her "immediate" safety is in jeopardy--look at your WW.

I really am trying to think rationally on a safe and legal way of doing this. I don't think there is one when dealing with a physical abuser.

Please, someone with this type of legal knowledge post to frank. Someone like in the 1% variety.

In the meantime, get her out, frank.

Have you tried talking to your ww about this? Could she agree to let your daughter come live with you?

Are you divorced? If not why does she get custody. If there is no legal document saying that the WW has custody then I would go pack up her things and tell WW and OP that she is coming to live with you. Easier said then done. I would go to the police and inform them of what is happening, have them talk with the neighbors and your daughter (how old is she??). However the daughter might be waw to scared to say anything even to you about the abuse. It is time for you to be the parent and take action.

hang in there

Just curious- how did you not flatten him? You must have a lot of self restraint.

Frank..

In order for you to not further damage your own efforts to obtain full custody of DD, let's be clear about a few things.

When you say "found out"..what does that mean? Did you personally see it? Or was someone gossiping? If they were not concerned enough to call the police while witnessing such abuse..why do you extend them the credibility that you have?

Having shouting matches with OM gains you nothing..and aids his efforts by making you look both foolish and impotent..unable to enforce any boundary or execute any authority.

What you need..is proof, and correct responses.

Call social services..certainly..they'll investigate..but don't be suprised if they can't find anything overt. It's amazing how fast even the slime of the earth can pull themselves together [thereby demonstrating that they do know what correct behavior is..and choose to disregard it].

For crying out loud..get your lawyer off his butt or get a new lawyer..this should have been before a judge already!

Stop talking idly with the neighbors..pointless, no other word describes this.

Your wife is a big girl, and if she chooses to live this way..so be it..your daughter is another matter entirely.

The pieces of your puzzle, Frank..seem very disjointed. Almost suspiciously so, I admit.

What's going on?

--Noodle

frankd,

Retained a lawyer and start from there. Calling SS w/o a prove/witness is futile. If D tell you about this, you could use that basis to bring her to MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist) specialist in children to get evaluation and file 100% custody at the same time.

How old is your D ? do you have visitation right or custody ?

-rh-

Frank, go get your daughter and worry about the consequences later. You cannot use this custody order as an excuse to not protect your D. You, and ONLY YOU, are responsible for her safety. You have to answer for it, not the judge, not your stupid lawyer.

I agree with the others that you should call social services and report this unsafe environment. After that, get on the phone and ask around for a DECENT lawyer who is childrens advocate. [I hope some of our attorneys here can chime in and tell him what to look for]

But, your first order of business is to get your D out of that mess. It is your responsibility and obligation as her father TO PROTECT HER.

I just called SS and they are going to investagate.....I called survivrers.. and talked to them............I amdoing it..........

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> I just called SS and they are going to investagate.....I called survivrers.. and talked to them............I amdoing it.......... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good. You know your W is probably guilty of child endangerment. 49 out of 50 states make it a crime to act or even fail to act in such a way that it causes a substantial risk of harm to the child.
Please keep us updated. I worry for your daughter.

Frank,

You should most certainly inform Child Protective Services right away. Even if their investigation is closed as unfounded, you will have a record that you've reported it. Also, if you and your wife are seperated, but not yet divorced it would seem to me that you would have as much right to your daughter as your wife does. Have any legal documents been filed? What do they say re: custody pending disolution of the marriage? Joint custody or sole custody?

I agree, you might want to look into getting another lawyer, and yes, you can file an emergency petition with the court to modify any prior arrangement entered into. You should do that!

You should also go to your daughter's school and meet with a counselor their so they are aware of what is going on with your daughter. Teachers may have already noticed changes in her behavior, etc... and your duaghter could get counseling through the school. Plus, that is one more avenue you can show to the court that you undertook to protect your child.

You should also check the laws in your state. IT might be that if you take your daughter and refuse to return her, your wife's only avenue is to file a Motion for Contempt of Court (not kidnapping which is criminal). You can probably access your states laws via the internet. Under the Motion for Contempt a hearing would be held before the Judge and the Judge would decide if you are in contempt of any temporary custody arrangement. You could present your evidence re: fear for your daughter's safety.

Also, a private investigator may be able to dig up some prior criminal history on this man. Has he ever been arrested? convicted? Had a Restraining Order issued against him? Have an alcohol and/or drug problem?

Time is of the essence here. Your daughter can't help herself and she is counting on you, her father, to help her. Keep it focues on her and her well being, not on any issues about your wife's cheating, etc... You want everyone to see that you aren't being vindictive b/c your W left you, your only concern is your child!

Good luck! SNS

Geez Frank, we have been worried about you!

I agree that you must contact social services and am glad that you have done that today. Did they tell you what the next step will be? Will they investigate today?

Did you tell them about the abuse and the killing of Meagan's cat? They need to understand that Meagan is in immediate physical danger. The OM is an abuser and will likely assault Meagan at some point.

You need to refrain from shouting matches with him. Calling out to Meagan to tell you if he hits her is pathetic. This tells her that you will come and help AFTER she has been hurt.

I think that you need a new lawyer and have been telling you that for months. He does not seem to have any sense of urgency in getting Meagan out of a dangerous situation.

Please followup tODAY on your report. Meagan should not have to sleep in that homa another night. Protect her, Please!

Frank,

Check with your counsel and see if your daughter carry a voice activated recorder. She can leave it in her room or nearby.

L.

Boy Frank, I am furious after reading your post. I really feel for you having to go thru this. If u live in AZ I would love to help you deal with that worthless piece of **** that your wife is spending time with. It's good that you are contacting social services. Hopefully the scumbag will wind up in prison getting his *** raped. I am soo angry for you right now! i will be praying for you.

<small>[ November 04, 2004, 05:08 PM: Message edited by: juke1225 ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by frankd:
<strong> I just called SS and they are going to investagate.....I called survivrers.. and talked to them............I amdoing it.......... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So, what was the outcome? This is not a case to put on a file and get to later. If you accurately described the abuse, they should have Meagan out of that house by now. Please update us.

Frank,
I know you love your DD (Meagan). Show it now. You have been given a divine right to protect your offspring. Are you doing that right now? (Sorry such a harsh question).

Is there anyone that your D can stay with, if not with you? A Foster home may a safe solution also. Your D should not be exposed to this domestic violence. Statically if a child sees this behavior the chances are that boys will be abusers and girls will be abused. It won't matter much if the OM hits your D or not - the damage will be done regardless. If your WW doesn't have a safe place - she can look for a woman's shelter for herself and Meagan. Battered woman usually don't leave b/c of the first incident of abuse. And from the sounds of it - this isn't the first time nor will it be the last. You have act radically to save your D any further abuse (even witnessing her mother get the [censored] kicked out of her is enough).

Frank, I can't say I've read all your posts, but your are seeking advice - take it for what it is worth. Your D's safety and well being are in jeopardy my friend - there really isn't any action to take except immediate action.

We all will be praying and hoping for your D's safety. We all will be praying for you to have the courage to remove your D from this environment ASAP - You can use the system or take action yourself (this is really irrelevant how it's done, as long as it gets done - just do it!!!!)

Brown
- wife and mother of 4 (S19, S18,D11 and D3) - Former Battered Woman (not by my H --- by my "BF" and father of my sons).

Frank - I would talk to Meagan and tell her that you suspect what is going on, and tell her to call 911 if it happens again.

Believer,
Great idea. Thay cannot ignore a 911 call. Meagan will most likely end up in temporary care if the police are called, not good but better than in an abusive home. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I STILL want to know if Social Services got the complaint from Frank and if they acted on it. I pray that Meagan is not hurt while this drama is allowed to continue.

What is going on Frank? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />