JustJ -

My WH has no email. That is part of the problem. I don't know where he lives. He leaves me notes at my house, and calls me at work. He has a cell phone, but does not answer it. So to talk to him, I have to call and leave a message. Then he calls back at his leisure, which is usually when I'm at work.

Believer -

I'm glad you're at a place where you can step back and see that he just isn't what you want in your life. I hope to be there one day myself!

You've built a good and comfortable life for yourself, without him. Enjoy the fruits of the last two years.

FIM

b,

All I can think of is your previous post some time ago that this is your WS third marriage. with you. That WS has treated each x as he is treating you.

Sounds like WS is operating on SOP, with you, as with all the x's.

Anyway, WS says he still has 'feelings' for op.

Perhaps you might say to him that when he no longer has feelings for op and when he is ready to change his MO from the last 3 marriages to let you know what he wants.

You have moved on? GOOD for you.

It is hard to be another statistic in WS's life.

Please, could you go ahead with Plan B and/or Plan D, even if you have to post it in the newspaper to get it all over with? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

And ask God what it is He has taught you in all of this. Gosh it is hard to be just another wife of WS. And I don't mean that in a mean way, just a fact, and I know you are a WORTHY person. You deserve better, especially since you have not had support for your efforts and endeavors, especially with the children, your WS's I mean. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

You have been a rock in the kid's lives, and the Lord will honor you for that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am sorry for all your pain. But what you said about WS other wives' really spoke to me. We all think we can make a difference, however, it is a change that your WS must make, or history will repeat itself.

Praying for the best for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Love in Christ,
Miss M

I am going to quote this man.. I just couldn't pass that post!

"SO sad,"
"Too bad"
"Your dad"

Hi Beleiver..you know where I stand in this. Ithink everyone's right.. He clearly made his choice. He had plenty of time to come back and he didn't.....Time's UP and you don't even have to said "Hit the road Jack" He was already gone.. so Big hugs* And keep your doors lock woman!

Okay... can I have his phone number?

Hey, believer. I've halfway written a couple of replies to this post, but submitted none.

Sometimes I'm skeptical when you write that you don't want your H any more.

Other times, I'm not.

Your posts are consistent, you don't. But yet, you're not indifferent.

Anyway, I hope you can get everything resolved soon. I'd love to hear you're in a new relationship - one that's free and clear of any guilt or doubt because your WH is still floating around out there.

And I'd also love to hear that you're not in a new relationship and fine anyway, and also free and clear...

GC

Gray -

I feel very sad that my marriage was such a failure, but I don't want my WH back. Even if he changed, I don't want him anymore. Too much has gone down, and I got tired of the lies and sneakiness.

I am quite happy with my life without him. I do have a roommate now, who is good company, and nice to be around.

The only thing that bothers me is just figuring the whole thing out. I never got any straight answers about anything from my WH. We were great friends before we were married, and I guess that part still hurts a little.

I hope that you will hang in there a little longer. Have you heard anything more from car4love? I really don't think the sparrow and him will work out. But if it takes too long to come to that, you may not want her anymore.

Believer, are you trying to donate this thread to me?

You know I know exactly where you're coming from w/r/t having no resolution.

The "CLOSURE" myth. What are we looking to find? Why are we so unsatisfied? We feel we understand what has happened in the minds of our WS, and we have learned to believe we can be okay without them - MUST be okay without them.

And yet... all those years, just thrown away.

People have short memories sometimes, I guess.

Me, I spoke with car4love a few days ago. She's okay. She says the same thing every time - up and down, okay times, bad times. OM was invited to a couple of prenatal appointments early on and didn't show. Now he's not invited (thanks to Penny's priceless free advice). She's at about 25 weeks. I haven't seen her in a while, but she says she's pretty big. She's having the child at home, and OM will not be allowed there. He's getting the stiff-arm, which I think is good.

I'm going to hang on for a long time still. I would love to be able to have fun with women, and I have gigs coming up, too - plenty of opportunities to meet unattached girls. I'll be honest - I think it's kind of stupid to get in a twist about not being able to have a little good clean fun. Buuuuut, I'm too scrupulous to do that sorta thing. I'll just have to wait. I've set my "freedom" date. It's several months away.

Till then I'm just another solitary schlub in the video store. I do have one female friend I spend some time with, and yes, she's single and cute. But we have a safe, honest friendship without any nonsense. And you can take that to the bank.

Threadjack complete.

GC

(edited to remove Freudian exravaganza!)

<small>[ November 08, 2004, 11:00 PM: Message edited by: graycloud ]</small>

Well WH called me up at 5:00AM to ask if I was alright. He had a terrible dream that he was chasing me, and I ran into the ocean to get away from him.

Told him I was just fine, thanks for asking.

...and then you got a towel and dried yourself off, right?


<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

Out of the blue he calls at 5am because he had a bad dream and wanted to know if you were ok?

I think he's getting prepared to make a major push to reconcile.

TTsi -

I think it is just more of the same. He talks a good story, but never follows it with actions.

He is very good at charming his way out of things, and always sounds so sincere. I should be used to this by now.

Anyway, I'm going to continue enjoying life.

hahahaha! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> WH dreamed of you running into the sea!!! His guilt must be eating him alive.

ZZ - I really think he might be feeling guilty, but still doesn't want to do anything about it.

Mine is the same believer...

Sometimes i feel i need to hold his hands and lead him back to the right path. However this action will cause me a lot of emotional sacrifices...is it worth it?

I am struggling with this dillemma now.

If you find the answers...tell me okay.

At least in yours...OW is no longer in the picture...maybe you should try lead him back? Take baby steps...ask him out and talk to him...try it and see how...if not you will never know.

Zizzy - Well he is not living with the OW, but I think that is where he would like to be. OW told her husband that my WH had to get his head together and decide what he wanted.

My WH would like to be with her, but also wants to do what is right in the Lord's eyes.

<small>[ November 09, 2004, 08:50 PM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>