H is in a mood today. Started last night actually, he was mad because I must have moved in my sleep and when he wanted to go to bed I was spawled in the middle of the bed, and on his half, so he shoved me over- I woke up and asked him why he did that and he plainly said- you were on my half, you needed to move... His mood continued this morning yelling at me on the phone, hanging up on me, and so on- I told him that the way he talked to me was unexceptable, and that it needed to change (I said it nicely)- his response? He hung up again. When I got home from work he pretended I was not there, if I asked him a question he pretended he did not hear me, basically he has ignored me now for almost 3 hours. We were suppose to go out and celebrate his brothers birthday tonight, I FINALLY found a sitter, and H won't go, says I do not want to go (if I did not I would not have gotten a sitter)- so I had to cancel the sitter and hurt his brother <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .

Now he is playing Nintendo, yelling at the kids, and just being mean. I asked him to please talk nicer to us as he is not showing his boys how to grow up and be good men, he said nothing and continued playing.

How does all this make me feel? Crummy I keep asking myself why I stay. WHy I put up with this, why I am subjecting my kids to this. RIght now I have no good reason. I have no real desire. I know everyone is entitled to a crabby day- but this is pushing it.

My up ride is over, I am now Crashing back to earth.

YOU ARE NOT CRASHING,

oops
he is crashing, kmej you said something to me in one of my threads, it was something like, sometimes you just gotta know when to quit, i cant remember but, im sorry but you need to kick his a$$ out in the street, if this is how he is going to treat you.
you nor your kids deserve his crap.
you have set your boundries and he keeps crossing them you really have no other choice. he is abusing you and that is that.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

KMEJ, I also wonder why you stay. He plays the games of an 8 yr old - how intolerable not to talk to you for hours. It's mean, childish and unacceptable. The day you get away I will raise a glass and toast you from Hong Kong. He has done nothing to aid your recovery. Only you can take action. TT

Actually, I take that back. There would be nothing to raise a glass to. It is a heart-wrenching decision to separate and I'm sure you agonise over your sons and what your choices will mean for them. But KMEJ, sometimes, you have got to look after yourself first before you can properly take care of others. He just sounds so awful - sorry. TT

Hi KMEJ,

Your WH sounds like a grouchy little child right now and that's not nice.It also sounds like he just wants to escape his responsibilities and veg out on some video game and not tend to you or his children.Does he do this often? And he hangs up on and ignores you? What's up with that behavior? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I too would not want to be around someone acting like that.It reminds me of the brief time my WH was home on a supposed "recovery" and didn't change his behavior of spending all his free time on the computer.Boy am I glad not to have to endure that anymore,among many other things.

Sorry,I wish things could be better for you.

O

H is over tired and looking to pick a fight, that is how he gets. Right now he went to bed for the night, after he made fun of me for getting in trouble at work, he never even asked about what happened, just assummed he knew and is having a field day making fun of me. I told him he was not being supportive, and he said- like I was when he worked at his old job- claiming that I dated all these guys <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and that I got him fired <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I did not, he got himself fired. I am so frustrated.

I asked him if he really felt this was working, I told him that I did not feel it was, that I did not feel he was even trying. That I had had enough and that we needed to look at other options because I could not take this anymore. That is when he rolled over, and I left.

All I want is RESPECT. I am not asking too much. I know he is tired, because he stays up half the night watching TV or being on the Computer, but that is not my fault, and I do not feel his crabbiness should be taken out on me.

****PLEASE NOTE****

I am not back peddeling- simply shareing my view. I am hurt and frustrated, and angry. I do not regret telling him that this is not working. He feels he can treat me however he wants and I will still be around for more. He knows I love him, I just do not think he knows how sick of all this I am, and that I am tettering on the edge. I want more out of life then I am getting. I want more out of life. something I haven't done. There has to be more then this- I know there is more with H- I just do not think he is capable at the moment <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Sorry again but we ALL get tired from time to time but that's no pass to disrespect you,make fun of you,yell at you,ignore you,hang up on you,hurt you."This is how he get's" is not acceptable to me.If he can't treat you with dignity,love and kindness,just what does he expect in return? Grrrr.

I agree that is why I added the other post. I am not trying to make excuses for him. I hate it when he gets this way, I dread these days. Ihate that he thinks it is okay to ignore me. Again I am not making excuses for him. I came to vent because I am sick of it. It took a lot for me to say to him tonight that I do not think this is working out. It scared me to say it, scares me to think it, scares me scares me scares me. But I want more, I deserve more. I am finally realizing that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> But I want more, I deserve more. I am finally realizing that.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Good for you, KMEJ. I am truly sorry it hurts so much. But for the record, you are seeing more clearly now. You are seeing value in yourself....and for that, I am very proud of you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by L.I.T:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> But I want more, I deserve more. I am finally realizing that.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Good for you, KMEJ. I am truly sorry it hurts so much. But for the record, you are seeing more clearly now. You are seeing value in yourself....and for that, I am very proud of you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

well what I said must have hit somewhere in H, because of instead of staying in bed, he got up, came down stairs, I asked him if he was planning on joining us for dinner, and he laughed, took dinner I was cooking on the stove, turned on the Garbage disposal and dumped it down <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> , I started to make dinner again, and he laughed and said he would just do it again- I told him the kids were hungry and that he shouldn't. Anyway he proceeds to start cleaning the house, throwing things away that are not his, just because he could, and when I started to object he threw cardboard boxes at my head at full speed. I asked him to stop as the youngest was standing within arms reach of me and it could hit him instead- he said he did not care but stopped anyway.

SIGH**********

No need to share more details- however now it is 10pm, and for the last hour and a half he has been acting as if nothing happened today. WTF??????? He is upstairs watching a movie, acting as if we are fine. I tried to talk to him about his temper tantrum today, and he said "I did nothing wrong...oh wait I forgot, YOUR PERFECT". I again told him his behavior was unexceptable, he said I was unexceptable. It was then decided that we would get no where in this tonight, so I am on the mainfloor and he is up in our room. I am trying to decide where to sleep tonight.

I am just really confused, and rather scared at his mood swings and how fast and drastic they can happen. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

****EDITED TO ADD****
I still feel that I deserve more then how he is treating me, and I have no intentions of sweeping this under the rug.

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 06:48 AM: Message edited by: KMEJ ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Oh and as an added bonus- our oldest son lost his first tooth tonight!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You say that you want respect?

That is something you aren't going to receive from your H. He isn't capable of respecting anyone....because he has no respect for himself.

I'm sorry.....but just the info from your post above would be enough for me to have him removed from the house.

Your H is an a$$.

Sorry....had to say it.

kmej
yor h is a psychopath
call the police get him removed from the house.
do you want your sons to treat there wives like this? you are teaching them it is ok. im sorry that it has come to this but he needs his a$$ whipped, GET HIM OUT, b4 he hurts you or the kids

KMEJ,

There isn't much to say that hasn't been said before. Your husband is deranged. If you stay in this marriage...I fear for your safety. At the very least, you are going to grow to hate your H. And..his sons will hate him, also.

You mentioned once before that you had given your H a March deadline to get his act together. That's two months away. What is your plan?

I think you need to tell him firmly that if things aren't right by the end of March, you will consider all of your options..including divorce.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> and when I started to object he threw cardboard boxes at my head at full speed. I asked him to stop as the youngest was standing within arms reach of me and it could hit him instead- he said he did not care but stopped anyway.

SIGH**********
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">KMEJ,

Noone can tell you what to do. But we can tell you that the behavior your H exhibited is unacceptable not only as a husband, but as a father.

When you gain enough self confidence and self esteem to walk out on him (instead of 'sighing') after he bahaves like this, then you will have proven your true self worth.

(((KMEJ)))


**Edited to add: I am not saying this in any kind of derrogatory manner. Instead, I am proud of the progress you have made, and hope you continue to keep it up**

<small>[ January 05, 2005, 01:52 PM: Message edited by: L.I.T ]</small>

LIT-I was sighing after writing that, I was and still am irate at what he did. I am confused as to how he can so easily pretend that nothing happened, that it has been a normal day.

I get home from work today and he shows me all the video of all the stuff that they did today. It was really cute, I love seeing video of my little men- and I especially like seeing H when he is happy to be with the kids- he can be such a good father- I am glad that side still shows at times.

However H does not get it that does not make up for what he did yesterday.

Tomorrow is my son's birthday. I just got done changeing the date of the party so it falls on a day where if the Vikings win this week it will be a playoff game day- against Lemonmans Eagles which he would take off anyway <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I told him I see where we fall in line of importance, and he said "play offs are imprortant"- I asked if the kids were not!?!?

Dalson- I tried talking with H about the up coming March and what it means to me, he waves his hand in the air, turns around, says "yatta yatta Yeah right Whatever!". I am not even sure H knows anymore what he is doing, If he is trying to be mean, or if it is something out of his control.. All I know is that yesterday I was scared when he even walked behind me, and it should not be this way.

no it should not be that way, you are trying to change him and you have shown him there are no consequences to his actions. so why would he change. you need to show him you mean business