I ran into my BIL and his new wife at the store. I haven't seen either one of them in 8 months. My BIL said "Hey, we just got back from our honeymoon..we had so much fun." All I could think was ...God...you haven't even asked me how me and my son are doing through all of this. He never even asked!!!!!! They just kept talking about their honeymoon and then said we have to go...see ya. I got into the car and broke down into tears. God...I just feel so alone.
Also, I ran into my MIL when I went to pick my son up from school. She said..."Hi Trish..how are you?". It was in a very condesending tone. I said hi and kept on walking by. That just p@ssed me off. Does anybody care how I feel....how my son is doing....how I'm doing?
I wish I could fast forward my life right now. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I am sorry for your rotten day.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tree}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I care- not that it matters much- but I do.

TR,

Hm.... sorry you are feeling down. Would like you to practice for these encounters of the weird kind.

Remember that some people don't know how to approach you and others don't care. Can't always tell the difference.

So here is a rule of thumb: Smile. Look them straight in the eye and smile. Simple nod if you need to say hi, don't talk if your tongue is too sharp that day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

As for your MIL, Ws may be feeding her about your supposed anger issues so you should put on that happy face and make her 'wonder' where that supposed anger went. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Can you do it? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Orchid truly does give the best advice. Don't listen to me, I'd probably be more snide but only say them in my head.

I wouldn't expect much from newlyweds. They are still in their happy, little bubble. As for your MIL, I'd kill her with kindness. Smile sweetly and have a wonderful story about the wonderful accomplishments that your wonderful son has done. And isn't it a miracle he can be so wonderful with such a (fill in the blank) father. Compliment her hair or shoes or wrinkles and say "Look at the time! I've got so many things to do...bye!" I guess that might be a form of reverse babble.

I'm sure nobody feels very comfortable about it.

KMEJ.....It does matter....thank you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Orchid....I am trying so hard to kill them all with kindness. I feel like spitting on them all but I just smile and make them wonder why I'm so happy! Maybe they will start to question the things my WH has told them.

grapegirl.... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Compliment her hair or shoes or wrinkles and say "Look at the time! I've got so many things to do...bye!" I guess that might be a form of reverse babble.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I love that about the wrinkles! LOL!!!!! She would just die if I said that! HA!!!!

I just got back from practice and my WH doesn't even look at me.....or even over in my direction. I called my friend and stood right by the fence where he could see me....I chatted and laughed out loud. I want him to see me happy and moving on. It's funny because I'm usually the only mohter at practices so I know all the fathers....they all come up to me and hug me and chat. I wonder what my WH thinks about that? Hehehehehehe!!!!!

<small>[ February 01, 2005, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: TreeReich* ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> grapegirl: Orchid truly does give the best advice. Don't listen to me, I'd probably be more snide but only say them in my head.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: Oooh....so not true. I just like to reverse babble a lot and make sad people smile. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> grapegirl: I wouldn't expect much from newlyweds. They are still in their happy, little bubble. As for your MIL, I'd kill her with kindness. Smile sweetly and have a wonderful story about the wonderful accomplishments that your wonderful son has done. And isn't it a miracle he can be so wonderful with such a (fill in the blank) father. Compliment her hair or shoes or wrinkles and say "Look at the time! I've got so many things to do...bye!" I guess that might be a form of reverse babble.

I'm sure nobody feels very comfortable about it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Orchid: I certainly agree. TR, you gotta practice this stuff or else you'll break out in hysterics. LOL!!! Then those who are trying to make you look mad, sad and depressed are gonna have egg all over their faces. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Orchid....
Ohhhhhhhh and how I would love to see egg all over there faces! LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The sad thing is....my WH cousin's kids are coming in for the weekend and I just love those kids. I won't be able to see them. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
One of them emails me all the time. I would love to see them while they are here visiting but don't know how that's possible! It's my WH's weekend with our son so I can't even use that as an excuse.

Its strange how blood is thicker than water. They mess up and still mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers all love them and blame everything on you. My MIL said some pretty stupid things when I was going through the worst part. Would have loved to have some "words" with her but then I thought, well, what if we get back together?...

I had some rough times when I would see exW with her OM at my D's games. I lived with it but it hurt like heck. I know how you feel. But, really, what can you do. Put on your game face and do the best you can. I depended on friends and this site to get me through those times. So, I guess what I'm saying is, "we're here for you." I hope you are feeling better and know there are alot of us that do care.....

lost-without-her....
Thank you! It is hard seeing my WH at the baseball games. I think if I could go a whole year without seeing him I would do much better. Seeing him is just like rubbing salt in the wound.

It is unbelievable to me that my WH family has been so cruel to me. I have never done anything to them or my WH. I just don't get it!!!!!
I'm just going to continue to be me and they will just have to get over their issues!

I can't understand why you can't see the children if you have a good relationship with them. Is someone stopping you? TT

TT....
Oh if you only knew my MIL! They will be staying with her. It's only for the weekend. They are having a big wedding recption on Saturday and she will have them all busy. I may get to see them for a split second but that's about it. In the past they would come stay with us the whole visit because they hate staying with my MIL. I'm hoping that they will ask to come see me. My son will be there so I'm sure he will mention to them that I wanted to see them also. If I call over there they(MIL & FIL) either won't answer or answer and be totally rude. It's a mess!
We'll see what happens. I would love to see them if it is only for a second......just to give them a hug and let them know I'm still here.

Oh, I see. However, if the others are more level-headed than your MIL, they WILL want to see you. I've been blessed with a wonderful mother-in-law who is very supportive. I do hope you all come to some kind of arrangements. I can't stand tyrants. TT

Tree we have already conclused that your out-laws family are all potty. You WH could be having the first affair where his his whole family are afflicted by the fog.

I'm hoping that I will get to see the kids. They are really going through a rough time themselves right now......
Their dad had an affair several years ago which relulted in 3 children...YES..3!! His wife found out and tried to....well....cut his thingy off. YIKES!!! She lost her mind when she found out about all of it....like anybody would. Well, anyway she had to be put on meds. She is also bi-polar. Now she's had a stroke and is fighting for her life. The kids never really got along with their dad after what happened and now they are stuck living with him, the OW (which is now his new wife) and all the other kids. So, there are 6 kids in their home now. It's a mess. My MIL used to say how horrible she thought her own nephew was....well, now her own son is having an A and I'm to blame. Go figure!!!!!

double post AGAIN....uuuggghhhh

<small>[ February 02, 2005, 12:46 PM: Message edited by: TreeReich* ]</small>

Tr,

In this mess, you have the easiest job......wait til they decide whether to come visit or not. In the meantime, you can go shopping, go to the spa, meet the girls for lunch.... enjoy yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Enjoy,
L.

Orchid....
Thanks....that's what I plan on doing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Actually, a friend of mine is having a "secret" party. Hehehehehe! Don't know if you know what that is....it's always hilarious to go.
We have drinks and crack up!!!!

Tree, is your WH husbands family name Munster or Addams ?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

All blessings hon.

LMAO!!!!! Yea...it should be huh? I'd go with Munster! LOL!

Trish:

Like many; I've been keeping up with you and your sitch. It is very, very similar to mine especially where in-laws are foggy to "the truth". DENIAL and ENABLING are tragic actions for WH's family to take; but it is what it is. WH has probably been enabled his entire life and this could be directly linked to his choice to stray and also to his subsequent babbling.

I'm going to go out on a limb a bit here and say that you might be a little too close to WH's goings on. W/o knowing you I may be off-base; but it seems that you're being affected pretty severely by shenanigans that are out of your control. I know that I was like that for a while; however once I realized that WXW and I would not be getting back together; "bumping into" in-laws was/is nowhere nearly as dramatic or uncomfortable as it once was. Perhaps others can interject here; but you still seem to be in a lot of emotional pain when you speak of seeing WH's family members.

Can I ask if you might still have even a slight desire to reconcile? You don't have to answer me; but perhaps answer to yourself. If my intuition is off; I apologize! Just hoping to help a bit! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FR