Ok-WS and I have had minimum contact for a couple of weeks-just in exchanging the kids and when he calls to see how they are-thats it. He had a car here that he was trying to sell and found someone who wanted it so he had to come up and sell it and all that. I was dredding it when I found out he was coming-like really dredding the thought of seeing him or being in the same room w/ him. He asked if he could see the kids for a bit and I reluctantly agreed. So we were sitting in the living room and he looked at me and said "so-whats up-why are you being this way-what have I done?" I said "what are you talking about?" and he said "well-you act as if you don't want me here" and I said "thats b/c I don't. I like not having to see/deal w/ you all week....sorry" So he got up, kissed the kids and said "well-I'm gonna go then so YOU won't have to see me anymore". Then, of course I feel all guilty for it and tell him he is welcome to stay and visit the kids-I'm sorry-same old song and dance. I told him he was the king of making me feel bad and he said "well-your the queen" then he said "you don't have to feel bad-you didn't do anything wrong....sorry you had to see me" So now I feel bad-but I also feel like I almost hate him-when he is around I just want him GONE....I don't even care where he is or what he is doing as long as he isn't HERE. Anyone else have these feelings?

Yes, I have those feelings all the time. My WS wants to be "friends" with me after 19 years of marraige. She can't understand why I don't want to see her. She asked me to go to lunch with her and her family the day she moved out, she asked me to go to her family for Thanksgiving, she wants me to sit with her at family events while in same breath she tells me no reconciliation. By the way, she is getting my 3 generation family farm without any remorse at all.

It is not that you hate him, it is that you don't want to see him. Think of all the hurt he has layed on you and your children. Don't let him play with your mind and make you feel guilty. My WS does that ALL the time to me.

Tell me, does you WS admit to his A? Does he blame you for it?

Tell me more... How are you doing?
Keith

sad-and..

what plan are you in..

ark

I feel that way and I still live with my FWH. There are some days when the pain/anger are so intense that I literally cannot even look at him or speak to him. Don't feel guilty - it is because of his actions that you feel this way.

well-he didn't openly admit it-but little by little he did-and now he says she is "someone to talk to" but I know they are more. I don't ask and he doesn't tell. He doesn't blame me for the A really-but he says he left and "fell out of love" w/ me b/c I was always on his case. I "killed" his love. whatever.

ark-I'm not sure I even have a plan at this time-lol. It is hard to go NC b/c our son is special needs and we have to be in constant contact.

so then plan...

A??

are you ...in plan A..why not..
plan A is hard...Plan B is hard..
but both are way better than floundering and wasting time....for any one...

ARK

SATM,

I wish I could encourage you. I'll leave that to other more inspiring posters.

One of the things I've seen is that after awhile you do lose your love for your WS. There is just a tremendous amount of abuse you have to endure because of thier actions. Love is conditional after all.

Oh, the old "someone to talk to" and the "fell out of love". I have heard it 3 times. Don't let him fool you!!!