well-this weekend was a bit different than usual. On his way up here Sat morning (I work and WH keeps the kids here on the weekends) he called me and talked to me the whole time-until he pulled in the drive-which is about 30 minutes. Didn't really talk about anything major-just chatted and talked about finances, etc. His cell even cut out one time and he called me back.

Then Sat night when I got home (11 30) he was sitting here watching TV. Usually he is ready to walk out the door as I walk in, but this time he just kept sitting here. At around midnight I told him I was going to go get a bath and he said "no-watch this w/ me-it is almost over" So-I did. Then, a couple of minutes later he said "well-guess I will go" and I said "ok-be careful" and he left.

Sun night when I got home he was ready to leave sooner. I said "your in a hurry tonight" and he said "in a hurry to go home and go to bed I guess" and he smiled and I smiled and it felt like old times kinda. It just felt different-for a second he was my H again-and he started to say something and stopped and then left.

Yesterday morning he called me and acted as if he wanted to say something but didn't-just had the usual "how are the kids" talk.

He keeps talking about how much he misses the kids and how it is so hard being w/out them...my concern is he is wanting to come home and I am not real sure I want him here at all. Of course-I could also be reading WAY to much into it and all this could be nothing-lol. We women tend to do that!

What do you guys think?

Sad and tired, Without sounding too encouraging it sounds like your H is peeking out from the fog. Have you told him what it would take for him to come back home? What your requirements would be?

Well-he was back to good ole' WH today-oh well. He called and checked on the kids and he was joking around w/ me and stuff. Then he told me he had to work over this weekend-so that means that me, him and OW will be there-but in different places-I never see them when they work over....none of us work in the same place. Still-I hate it when they have to work Sat b/c I know they are there and it makes me sick! So I said "oh great-I hate that....it makes me sick to think about it" and he said "I know-and I am sorry." I started crying-don't even know why really and he said "I'm sorry.....I am sorry for ruining your life...." and then he said he had to go. He said he didn't want to do this today. I told him I wasn't doing anything and he said "no-but your trying and I don't want to. You try to do this once a week" and I said "how come if I am upset or mad you don't want to deal w/ it? But if we talk about nothing and act all happy and stuff you are fine?" He said "why can't you get over this, tell me to F off and be done-thats what I would do".....I was thinking-you have no idea what you would do, no one does.

ANyway-so thats that-he has either slipped back into the fog or he was never out of it to begin w/. But-thats ok-I felt sad for a couple of hrs and then I realized-nothing new.....and it will be OK. I try to remind myself-Let Go and Let God!!!

Thanks for the reply, FF

Sounds to me like he might want to work things out but is to scared that he already messed everything up for good. Then he wants some sympathy from you and acts like he wants you back, then he realizes that he screwed you over big time and that you should not forgive him. Then he wants you back and....

He also wants you to make the decision.

see the cycle?

With out knowing your exact history I would say it is time to force him to decide what he is going to do.

Show him you can handle life with out him. I would suggest considering the plan B letter.