BT, Have you ever wondered why you had such a hot sexual response? It's not something that we control, it just happens. I used to wonder why after I got married I didn't feel overly interested in sex - could take it or leave it. I knew it was necessary for my H, so we did it fairly often, but I never felt I needed it and had to work pretty hard to get an O. Well being betrayed somehow takes away your security and comfort zone. It turns the M into a battle ground and you are the recipient of a surprise attack. You don't know what's happening really - which end is up. Nature takes over and I heard that fear makes testosterone. I guess if we are truly fearful of losing our husbands we start producing testosterone by the bucket loads. Your story was similar to mine. I thought it was the new chinese herb capsule I was taking to reduce my cholesterol. Duh!!!

Just have to say that I didn't have that much fear that I could swallow - but I wasn't far short of it. Giving a bj was such a hot thing to do taht what often started out for him ended up being for me coz it was sooo good.

Anyway, I guess my next question is if the general population ever discovers how BWs react sexually to their Hs cheating, won't men every where start making up lies about cheating just so their wives revive their sexual abilities? I remember thinking I was sending my WH the wrong message; act bad towards me and see how much better in bed I am.

Very disturbing really. Lucky for us that men are as dumb as............. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> they don't seem to think too deeply - except to think we are prepared to fight for them. I think any half decent man is worried his BW will either leave him penniless or put a bullet in his head while he slumbers. Fortunately people like Lorraine Bobbit give WHs a healthy fear of wives who discover them playing around. My H was astounded and delighted at my sexual response. And quite honestly I feel a bit disgusted with myself for not kicking him out or chosing the afore mentioned options.... but that's nature for ya. I guess I realised right at the outset that it was in my best interest to fight for him. And hey, it wasn't all bad - the sex was good eh? S <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

AN

i have a similar situation. me and my h were about to d. i mean really close i met someone and was fiendly with them. he found out got so sick he couldntwork couldnt do anything once the tables were turned. he wanted me just fosr him and he realized he could NOT hvae me and the OW. so he got away from her asap. not that hings have been perfect since but if it werent for that i dont even know if wed' had a chance to try to make things rig ht

I have another thought on this. Does it need to be the appearance of another person, or is it just the total rejection of the WS.

My story...WW has 6 month long A prior to Dday. SHe continued to contact OM (they're just friends...whatever). WW filed for D a couple weeks ago.

Finally, this weekend she stayed out til 4 AM, swearing she wasn't fooling around, OM is in Florida. I just told her I didn't believe her and that she was a liar and a cheat and she has done nothing to convince me otherwise. Also told her she wasn't a very good person by the way she was acting. Told her that I didn't understand it, she HAD a family, she HAD a husband who loved and cared for her, didn't know what she wanted but hoped she would be happy someday.

Basically, this was me telling her I didn't give a crap what she did anymore because I was through with it. I also asked her when our D could be final and why was she delaying by asking for a continuance.

Since then she has been very nice to me, a good mother, has been engaging in conversation, just a lot of change.

Now, that doesn't mean she wants to jump me, or that she has given up her wicked ways. Just that once I gave her the signal that I was kicking her to the curb and didn't need or was going to put up with her stuff, she became more engaging towards me.

My feeling, I am not going to work on or try to save our M. I am done chasing. If she wants oor M to work, than she is going to need to make a lot of changes. There are so many more women out there that are nicer, more attractive, more loving, more committed, more fun, just plain better catches than STBXW. I have checked out and I think she is sensing that.

I hope your marriage works and she sees what she is losing. It amazes me that their are men out there who have been done so wrong. Being a women who has been cheated on and hurt repeatedly it is easy to forget there are nice guys out there who have also been done wrong.

Good Luck,
God Bless,
StormyDakota

Stormy,

There are lots of us men out there that don't cheat. I have had oppurtunities and walked away from them. Not that I wasn't tempted but I chose not to.

Keith