You are on the right track!
No Contact is really hard. Have you ever tried to quit smoking, or give up alcohol or drugs. Same principles apply. Many times it takes more than one or two failures before success is achieved. Yes, it's devastating to the BS, but let's just hope you are one of the lucky ones, and NC can be kept in place. Therefore, rather than asking for 3 weeks, just ask for No Contact. Withdrawal lasts a lot longer when a PA is attached to an EA. My FWW's withdrawal lasted nearly 3 months after NC was finally in place.
Stay dark for now. Let him stew in his own juices for a week or two. Let him think about living without you. He will be suffering from Withdrawal from YOU. Regardless of the A, you have still been able to meet some of his needs.
Formulate your requests (not demands), and put them in writing. When the time is ripe, you can fax or mail them to him. Your boundaries (not ultimatums) are then going to be clear to him. While you are thinking of these items, also be thinking of what your reaction will be if he fails at any one, or more, of the requests. Make the consequences fair and just for the "crime".
Like in a chess game, always be thinking as few plays ahead, so you are prepared and ACTING, not just reacting to what's taking place.
We know you are struggling and in pain. It's part of the process. You are doing fine, so don't be doubting your actions.
Lastly, your "old" marriage is dead. The only marriage you will have in the future is the one you create. This is a good thing. You will learn so much by having gone through all this, you will know when and how to mold your new marriage to meet both of your needs.
You might want to print out the EN questionairre available here on this site. That would be a really good start for establishing things both of you will need to work on in your "new" marriage!
Best wishes,
SD
