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Because we care, we hope you come back and talk to us... It will require working on your conflict avoidance... Because...we must wonder if this is the same PA..as indicated below: posted November 08, 2004 03:07 PM
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Let’s take a deep breath and back up a moment. As you may remember, I cannot “make” her do anything. I’ve suggested as kindly as I know how that she see her physician because of some of these clear BIG M issues, such as severe night sweats, depression, etc.- Only to be rebuffed loudly that she wishes I’d quit recommending such things because the real problem is....and then a tirade about our relationship, etc.
So, it is not easy to convince someone that they MJST see a physician. If it turns out that your “expertise” helps us (me) in this area also, I will be convinced God has sent you.
My friends that I have that are medical professionals are also her friends, thereby complicating matters. However, there is a PA in her OB/GYN’s office that I have reason to believe would talk with me. We will hold that thought for later. Obviously, HIPAA is an issue.
Yes, I do want you to tell me specifically the diagnoses that you are concerned about
To clear up any misunderstanding, she hasn’t gotten “lost”, but she gets very confused.
I hope you’re not sorry you made that agreement (to stick with me through this). I appreciate your help, I know you could disappear at any time and wash your hands of this, but I can’t. I’m here for “better or worse”. I will see what I can find on WEB MD, but go ahead with your thoughts first, please.
GEORGIA And there is this...I responded back to you on another forum regarding my concerns about this... mimi1254
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Member # 24433
posted November 26, 2004 07:10 PM
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Georgia:
I have almost bared my soul here to you. Now you are turning the tables here on me. Could you share in general about your TEMPTATION? You did ask me to hang on in here with you. It will be hard if you start keeping secrets. That will not allow you to receive the full value of this forum. Been there-done that.
I guess you know to make sure to share all information with Steve Harley.
What's going on, my friend?
[ November 26, 2004, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]
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Female-Age 50; FWS-Age 51
Married 28 years
Sons-22 and 18
D-Day:12/31/02
OW:Young/Unmarried
Plan A until WS requests 5/03 legal separation
6/1/03: Official Plan B
9/5/03: Recovery #2 Begins
With work, each day, it gets better and better.
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Formerly G.G.
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Member # 37912
posted November 26, 2004 07:27 PM
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Mimi -
There will be no secrets. (I had a feeling you'd say that). Yes, SH will be told everything.
I'll be back later, taking WW to dinner.
Georgia
[ November 26, 2004, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: Georgia Guy ]
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Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 48
She: WS 48
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 28 yrs
Children: MM25, MM22
WW in Internet EA about 1.5 years.
Plan B - 12/06/04
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Formerly G.G.
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Member # 37912
posted November 27, 2004 12:48 AM
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Mimi (and anyone else who cares to jump in) -
Yes, indeed you have shared a lot with me, I'm honored that you've seen fit to do so. I hope that my trust has been merited in the ways yours has been to me. There is no intention to turn the tables on you (or keep secrets from you), I'm concerned about family members that may be following along on this public forum. I've trusted your advice, and more than once you've pulled me out of the fire when I was about to do the wrong thing, or in a panic because I couldn't think clearly.
Okay, in general. I called one of WW's doctors to discuss some of her med stuff that I know she'll never mention because she's not even cognziant that it's happening to her. I got a PA who, to make a very long story very short (I can fill in detais if you want), told me how nice it was to meet a man trying so hard to help his W rather than just leaving her. Then, it was that she (PA) would like to meet me if this doesn't work out. Then, after about 2 hours of conversation, she offers (and I take) her cell # and pager number to call her whenever I need someone to talk to. She even suggested that my other needs probably aren't being met right now.
There's more...but suffice it to say...I'm tempted. She's articulate, open, and kind. I've not heard a female voice talking to me like that in a long, long time...and I loved it. Not something I'm really proud of....I know all the right answers, but this is it.
Can you tell some approx times you may be on the board so we can talk about this, and other issues going on with WW right now? I'd like for this to be a convo (like we had Wednesday) rather than a days long posting session.
Your friend, too-
Georgia
P.S. - When we get through this one..there is some issues from your post on the "Conflict Avoiders" thread last Wednesday that we need to discuss. I noticed, I've just not said anything.
[ November 27, 2004, 01:14 AM: Message edited by: Georgia Guy ]
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Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 48
She: WS 48
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 28 yrs
Children: MM25, MM22
WW in Internet EA about 1.5 years.
Plan B - 12/06/04
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Last edited by mimi1254; 05/06/06 02:10 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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And I suggest that you read these posts again: Lady_In_Red
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Member # 17088
posted November 27, 2004 06:13 AM
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Dear Georgia,
This is exactly why you need to be on this forum. This forum should help provide you the support you need to get through this, so that you don't fall into seeking it in inappropriate places.
Your needs are not being met and yes, you are very vulnerable. That doesn't give you the right to go looking for them anywhere else. I'm not saying that unkindly and I know you already know that. I don't mean my "internet" voice to sound harsh here. This might also give you some insight into the kind of temptation your wife is experiencing - your wife's friendly little friendship has grown and grown and is now spiraling out of control. You see, there but for the grace of God go I.
Something to think about - what kind of woman makes an open play for a man who she clearly sees is desperately trying to save his marriage? What kind of woman offers her phone number to a man whose marriage is in trouble? A woman who doesn't care whether his marriage survives or not and is rather hoping it won't. You open yourself up to "talking about your problems" with this woman, and she will finish your marriage off for you, have no doubt about that. She knows what she is doing - going for a vulnerable man, a good man - because she knows what she wants, and she knows how to get it. Ever heard the expression "led by the nose"? I suspect you want to stay in control of the situation you are now in, as best you can. You can only do that by being master of yourself. Opening up and confiding in this person will take even that away from you.
I told my H, and I try to remind myself, too - "When the Devil makes a play for you, he throws something in your path that looks like everything you ever wanted, or everything you need right now. Only trouble is, you will have to betray all the principles you hold dear in order to get it."
What I found helped me, helps me the most, is starting my day with my Bible. I use a Bible-reading scheme - any one will do that you feel comfortable with. For me, it is Bible Alive, because it gives me the Mass readings for the day and a commentary, but there are others. Choose one, and then start your day with that. It will help keep you focused. I also used the English Book of Common Prayer - I think the Episcopal church has something like it. It gives you three Psalms to read every morning, and three at night. These I found most helpful, because the Psalms are so personal and are a direct conversation with God. So often they ended up expressing my most turbulent thoughts - they also showed me God's promise, and gave me confidence and comfort to go on.
Hang in there.
LIR
[ November 27, 2004, 06:15 AM: Message edited by: Lady_In_Red ]
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ForeverHers
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Member # 19263
posted November 27, 2004 09:03 AM
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GG, the PA (Physician's Assistant) is crossing the line of professionalism.
That you are "vulnerable" is a given. That she might be predisposed to "helping," "nursing," "doctoring," etc. is normal for someone in the medical field. However, you DO NOT get involved with patients. End of discussion.
For you the problem is clear. Satan is subtly trying to convince you that "God didn't really mean what He said."
"Thou shalt NOT commit adultery."
No "suggestion." No "if it feels good, do it."
No "wiggle room."
GG, you are not the first to have such thoughts. The deep emotional pain you are feeling is normal, as are such thoughts of "relief" from the pain. But as with many things that seem "nice" on the surface, underneath is a snarling vicious animal just waiting for you to "take the bait."
"There is no temptation that you will face that is not common to man." But God provides the way to face those temptations and overcome. That way is to simply obey God's commands no matter how we might be feeling at any given time.
Loneliness, fear, uncertainty, pain, emotions...
Step back from the quicksand and take the longer route around the problem.
God bless.
[ November 27, 2004, 09:04 AM: Message edited by: ForeverHers ]
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In Christlike love at all times.
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Pepperband
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Member # 7644
posted November 27, 2004 10:05 AM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Georgia Guy:
Then, after about 2 hours of conversation, she offers (and I take) her cell # and pager number to call her whenever I need someone to talk to. She even suggested that my other needs probably aren't being met right now.
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What you do NOT need is more chaos and emotionally charged female companionship.
What you do NOT need right now is any woman who offers herself fast and easy. Think about this... what sort of woman says "your other needs " implying physical needs to an obvious recent victim??
A parallel situation for you to think about ---> a male PA says the same words to a married woman who is seeking help with her husband's betrayal... WHAT WOULD YOU THINK OF THE PA'S OFFER IF THE GENDERS WERE REVERSED???
You'd say... "What an opportunistic slimeball!"... and, you'd be correct.
Equality of the sexes my dear.
Pep
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The energizer bunny has been arrested and charged with battery!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Hi folks...
I've been working in the yard all day and enjoying getting my hands in dirt. I've read your comments. I'm sure there are some elements of CA'er that I haven't responded by now, but I also, in the midst of important issues, like to let things soak in for a while after I read them. I will be responding.
As I've worked outside today, I must say that I've been tormented by cc's words:
"....let us believe in a Georgia who really wasn't...."
That is at the center of what troubles me so much. What Georgia am I? Am a really nothing more than a philandering bum as evidenced by the actions that you are now aware of? If I answer the question about what kind of Christian is she to date a married man, the implied question also must apply to me as to what kind of Christian am I do date while still married.
I am pondering all these things.
My nature says I need to take a big poll and collect votes to decide my actions.
I am reading, I will respond, I will be back.
Tomorrow after church is when I leave for Illinois. Looking at the wx channel it's showing rain all the way tomorrow....some trip for a convertible, eh?
Ultimate irony:
I'm teaching a lesson on Godly Wisdom tomorrow. I'll be intersted in hearing what I have to say.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Proverbs 2 and 3, eh?
Wow. God's message in your hands, FGG. I've believed when he wants our attention, he goes to great lengths...no coincidences.
You think irony, and I say God.
"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
the man who gains understanding,
"for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
15 She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
those who lay hold of her will be blessed.
See how 2 and 3 parallel? Both have women, only one is human, the other, a human trait.
Easy for humans to mistake them, don't you think?
What do you think?
LA
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Mimi, I do remember these now. Thanks for finding and bringing them back up. Probably good for FGG to reread them...some good advice in there that he apparently failed to heed.
I can see why he C.A.'d and didn't admit this relationship before now...even after you pleaded with him to be open and honest. But then he was also afraid of folks in his real life seeing what he would write.
FGG, you have allowed us to put you on a pedestal of virtue for a long time.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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Georgia,
I'm more disappointed in that fact that you could not be honest with yourself.
I once suggested you write a journal, because what we write here can never really be everything that we feel and think and do. And writing things out privately in a journal helps clear up thoughts a lot. I remember you not considering it necessary.
I have now realized that I have to take this even a step further. I write my journal by hand. These last few days I've realized that there are some things that I don't write down because at the back of my mind I am afraid that someday dds might read it. And basically I don't want them to be hurt.
So as from now I will write a journal protected by password in my computer. I would prefer to write it by hand, but the only way it occurs to me that no one will ever be able to read what I write unless I want them to, is doing it on the computer with a password protection. If I die they would not be able to read it, but they could find my diary.
You see, I don't want to be dishonest with myself. I will pray that you find the courage to be honest with yourself. That is the main issue. It doesn't matter what we think or say, unless you choose to pay attention.
Last edited by cc46; 05/06/06 05:50 PM.
cc
"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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LA (and others)..
I've read over those verses again tonight as I prepare for tomorrow. I never believe (or at least that's what I say) in conincidences.
I know I'm at a cross roads, but just how many roads interested right here isn't clear at all to me. I am so looking forward to this week being a week of reflection.
I really hope to include you all in that conversation (with myself?). I know self-deception is easy.
Trix - take me off the pedestal.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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FGG:
A page or so back, you said this:
"I will say this. As far as the "what if's" concerning xW, I'm done with that. That is out the window, I'm no longer interested."
In light of the "new" relationship with the P.A., it's understandable that you would say this...
...completely understandable, in the sense that it's understandable why WSs say that they aren't in love with their BSs while having an A.
Cogitate on that, please.
-ol' 2long
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I really hate being lied to ... even on this forum
Pep
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Georgia:
I am even more disappointed in you this morning.
You truly seem not to be the person that I thought you were.
You came here and asked ME to stick with you. I have.
I took some time out yesterday to set this stuff out on the table for you to see.
Then, you do not even give me the common courtesy to acknowledge me.
At least you could have just simply said: "I'm sorry", "Thanks" or even just "Hi, Mimi".
You know what? I'm not that hurt on a personal level. You do not affect me that much. I'm going to have a great day..a glorious day.
However, I'm sad for you. I'm sad for your sons. I'm sad for anyone and any family in this position.
I hope you work on this major problem of not being honest with yourself...not facing the truth...not dealing with conflict.
But as we all know...THE FOG IS REAL.....
Last edited by mimi1254; 05/07/06 06:47 AM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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This is likely to send your Conflict Avoidance over the edge...and I hate to "beat a dead horse"...
But, I think it's ironic.."The Lord works in mysterious ways.."
Plus, you know full well my issues with hypocrisy within the Christian church...
Your lesson today was Proverbs 2...
Did you discuss these verses?
10 When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
11 Discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you,
12 To deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things.
13 From those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness;
16 To deliver you from the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters you with her words,
18 For her house leads down to death, and her paths to the dead;
19 None who go to her return, nor do they regain the paths of life
Of course Proverbs 3:5-6 are some of MY FAVORITE BIBLE VERSES.. that helped me through the darkest days and nights of my life...
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your paths.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Don't worry, you've been dually removed. Already done.
I know you have lots to contemplate. I am sorry you have put yourself in this position.
I know none of us are perfect; I know I'm not anyway.
I did things during my separations, pre-MB (not that it matters or justifies) that I am not proud of - never a PA. Also, in '88, after my H's first A in '86, (I was suspecting another A because he would leave for long bike rides most evenings) I had a revenge...kind of flirtation/sexually charged EA with our cabinet maker at the time (for a couple of months)-(I never felt I loved the guy, nor would I have ever left my H for him). Had I had a full blown PA, I doubt that my H would have forgiven me. I consciously allowed myself, I chose to 'go there'...for immature revenge. It was wrong. Stupid me. I am not proud of having done it and it was shameful behavior. I got caught acting inappropriately. As it was, H told me he would stay with me until our oldest was 18. He became cold and distant for quite a while after. Then had his 4 yrs A when my oldest son was nearing 18 (end of '94, early '95). Odd. He probably didn't recall saying that. Whatever...I regret all of it. (I do think I posted about this stuff in one of my early posts.)
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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To you all -
I have not had an opportunity to catch up yet today and it will be later today before I get a chance to read and respond.
Jeb and I got here about 1:00 AM this morning, so I'll a little behind today.
I'll be back...thank you all for taking the time to care.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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question:
Does your WxW know about Lynn?
I am wondering if this explains why your WxW was ranting about you spending two days working at the church rummage sale.
Not that she has any right to complain about you working at the sale. Clearly your WxW should have been packing herself those days, and not sitting back waiting for you to bail her out. But I suspect there was more to that whole incident now then just your WxW being immature and selfish, expecting you to drop everything to bail her out. I suspect she is terrifed right now that she has truly lost you. I know, it is all her own fault, she should have expected it, etc. But at least now I think we can see a little glimpse into what her motivation may have been. I don't think she is upset that you went to help out at the church, I think she is upset that you were working with a lady friend.
I am afraid I have to agree with who ever posted here (perhaps it was 2Long?) that you are feeling a little bit of the fog now yourself.TOTALLY understandable - don't get me wrong - but allow yourself to recognize it and understand it. Right now you have a situation where someone understands you, is sympathetic to you. She can not understand how your WxW could treat you so badly. You are wondering why you put up with your WxW's abuse for so long. You could never go back to that. You are done with her. In fact, when you look back over the years, you start to realize that there is a lot more stuff that your WxW said or did that was not very nice, and a wife should never treat a H that way. Lynn is kind, and appreciates everything you do. Even small, simple things. No, you could never go back to your WxW now that you can see how much better life is without her.
GG - I am not for a minute suggesting that you get back with your WxW - but I am suggesting that your current state of mind is similar to the fog which surrounds an affair. Allow yourself to see that - to understand that - and to look objectively at your current R.
Married 18 years
D Day June 25, 2003
Divorced December 17, 2003
Newly married to a wonderful man!
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Okay, more coming.
I'm dining at Panera Bread so I can post. No internet at the cottage. More coming.....
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Written about 1 hour ago from the cottage before I got here to Panera:
Good evening –
I’m back at the cottage now and I’ve finished work for the day. Unfortunately, I don’t have internet access here so I may have to kind of do this in stages.
I copied and read….and reread…all of your posts from the last several days.
Mimi….specifically at you.
It’s really strange, but the gravity of this situation now seems much more apparent to me than before the divorce was final. I don’t know why.
Rather than turning this into a debate (which is pointless because I already know I’m wrong), let me just share my thoughts and feelings if I may. This may get long, but please stand by me.
One of the fears I had when we separated, as I know I posted here, was finding out who I really was. I went from being a teenager to being married and that was almost 30 years ago. I know that as a teenager I wasn’t an example of virtue, but I never claimed to be.
Mimi…when we started talking we used to discuss the way that we’d gotten “domesticated” over the years and perhaps we needed to kind of let our hair down (my words). Remember the James Dean discussions? Well….the thoughts of who I was, what I would become, plagued me a good deal. My “role” as Dad, church leader, businessman, etc…was it just a role or was that who I was / am? Remove my at-home kids and wife and well…what will I be when no one is watching?
I don’t know where I’m going with this…I’m just rambling.
I guess I’m saying that maybe I have found out now. Maybe this is who I am. xW doesn’t know about Lynn, but if she did she would say “see…I told you he was nothing but a bas**rd”.
What I have always wanted was to enjoy traveling with my wife when the kids left home and so….enjoy grandkids. You know how much I love kids, and I’ve dreamed of that for so long.
But no…I’d take xW on a trip and she’d hide out in the airport bathroom for so long that it was obvious that she was calling OM from the privacy of the john.
I know all the right answers, that’s what makes this so…..futile and frustrating. At the end of this whole conversation and mental gyration, can there be any conclusion except:
1. I need to severe my relationship with Lynn
2. I blew it and I need to seek the forgiveness of everyone I’ve let down.
3. I need to try to restore my kids trust and respect in me.
Is that where this all has to lead?
Is it even possible…that Lynn can play a positive role in my life in the future even though it all began so horribly wrong? Is it possible that I am the man who can meet her needs and she mine and we can possibly , someday have a peaceful and content home together?
I have seen in her what it means to be content.
Openness and honesty? It looks so appealing to me to just think of a quiet life with her…maybe away from the rush and bustle of every day life. She doesn’t present to me “flattery” (as described in Proverbs), she presents to me a picture of “contentment and tranquility”. Reading back over LIR’s post…I have to wonder if the shoe fits this situation.
Sometimes I wonder if she is showing me what NORMAL looks like and it’s been so long since I’ve seen it that I’ve forgotten. She can be content with so little….and thankful for everything. And…she seems so selfless.
I wish I could put my thoughts into words a little more clearly, but words are just failing me right now. I’m going to try to having dinner someplace with WIFI access and perhaps we can communicate some more about this tonight. I’m sorry I was too busy to respond earlier today.
The little cottage is so peaceful.
I know I overuse that word. For the last year or so with WW I felt like I never had any peace anywhere. I was under a lot of pressure at work, then I go home and WW would be sitting there on the phone with OM. I had a hard time getting a good nights sleep knowing she was talking to him, then of course it all began over again.
I would like to try to assert this. 2Long – you assert that I am no longer interested in xW due to Lynn. I know that is a logical conclusion to arrive at, but it is one I dismiss. I am not I have had 7 years of this OM stuff….and I am not, repeat, not interested in any more of that.
I’m going to make a concerted effort to bury my CA’er this week and try to decide where I’m going. I know it is of very little consolation, but the disappointment you have in me causes me a great deal of pain and sadness. I am so sorry.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187 |
WOF -
No, xW doesn't know about Lynn, I am sure of that.
Additionally, the days working at the yard sale was without Lynn, she was working.
Yes, I suppose that I suspect...at least suspect...that I too have become the victim of the hideous and incideious fog. However...do you still contend that it is the fog that leads me to say that my R with xW is done? I don't feel that to be the case, I think it is a rational conclusion that she is going to forever feel entitled to her OM's and I might as well get used to it. Even the period during the end of the first OM (I reported 2001, it was actually early 2002) wasn't marked by any kind of remorse or regret. Instead, it was (and she still says to this day) that it was all my fault that he ended it...if I hadn't of been such a jealous H he could have continued, etc......
Georgia
(Posts between bites of french onion soup and chicken sandwich).
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,187 |
And...to add.
You are only partly correct about my delusional state. I know why I put up with it so long, I still had #2S at home and I didn't want to leave while he was still there. Plus....the depth and intensity of her R with OM#2 was increasing at an exponential rate.
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
FGG:
Please don't feel unduly picked on. Anybody with a conscience would feel bad if they'd done what you've done.
I realize that's not a comforting thing 2 hear, but I think it's true. I do believe you have a conscience (otherwise you wouldn't have come back here). I do believe you've "suffered enough" at the receiving end of your xW's affairs for 7 years (like I have for the last 15 years now, though never as intensely, perhaps).
I just think - know - that this was 2 soon. You skipped a 2ple important steps by rebounding like this.
Like: pondering the difference between loneliness and soli2de. Your cottage for example. Soli2de. Peace. No pressure 2 answer 2 someone else's ENs or whathaveyous. Just you and your God. ...well, and Jeb, but I think he'll give you some quiet time if he senses you need it.
Who knows? A relationship with Lynn may be the best thing that could happen 2 you. But why start one when you clearly weren't ready? Why cloud the fu2re with a dishonest beginning?
While you may be done with your M, you aren't done with your "process", in my view. If you had been, the moving incident wouldn't have been so annoying or painful for both of you.
Slow down. Give your sons and even your xW the chance 2 come 2 a peaceful conclusion 2 the previous chapter of your life, and maybe they can accept Lynn or someone like her in the next one.
All in due time.
-ol' 2long
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