Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28 |
I am so confused about everything and my place in all this. I posted married young so that is the back story to this relationship.
My WW has been having an A for a month or so (I hope) and I know the OM. I have called him and we had a long civil discussion about the A. He says he has cried over it a lot. He was actually in my position not to long ago. He was with his W for 9 months and then married for 17 years. She cheated and left with another man. He then got engaged after knowing a girl for 3 months. He cheated on her with his ex wife and they broke it off. Now he is with my W and thinks he is in love again.
My W thinks she is in love and say she doesn't know what to do. She is obviously in the fog because she tries to see him whenever she can. (She also works with him.) and she lies to me even though she realizes that I am not foolish enough to fall for her deception.
This post is more about his mind state. I need to know what is going on in his mind to help me cope with the situation. I told him that their relationship can't last because what it is built on and his response was "what do I do?" I could have reached through the phone and smashed his face in. Thats what I could DO. But I was restrained.
What is this guy thinking. And can they actually survive together.
Some one please help me cope.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
Hello,
Statistics indicate that a marriage that came about based on cheating on each other's spouses has a 3 percent chance of suceeding.
A cheating OM or OW is a person with a broken moral compass.
You are hoping that they have some moral conscious that will stop this. I am afraid that you are deluding yourself. Their actions indicate that they are selfish and narcissitic in general and believe their love was meant to be. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Their actions speak volumes. I suggest you contact a lawyer to protection your interests and legal obligations.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28 |
I know that he is divorced and I am not sure if his wife is remarried or what but should I tell her or would that backfire sense she cheated on him to begin with.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,457 |
You are asking people who are immoral to engage in moral behavior. You are trying to turn apples into oranges.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28 |
So I guess telling the ex would not be a good idea. Hopefully exposing him to the higher ups at work will scare him into ending it because he is financially strapped.
It is one of the few hopes I have in my "last throes" of Plan A.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 28 |
Bump.
Anyone out there with any other thoughts on the sitch?
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
374
guests, and
59
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
