I loved that house. That house represented what once was a family with all of our memories. I'm wondering if the sale of that house will be the closure that I finally need once and for all, or will it be a hard day? I don't know.

I brought my daughter home from the hospital in that house, and my ex and I built her a beautiful little bedroom...now it sits cold and lonely. All the memories, all the hard work my ex and I did together. All the emotions, the ups the downs, my mistakes, his mistakes. That house although made of wood and wallboard, means so much more to me. It hurts because this is the final piece thats been taken away from me. My marriages final resting place.

You brought tears to my eyes. I'm afraid I will have to sell my home also. It really saddens me. My STBX found this house and surprised me on my birthday. We were so excited. My son finally has a home in a great neighborhood with wonderful friends. It's going to tear me apart to have to move. Moving into this house was supposed to be a fresh start for our family. It's turned out to be the place of pain! My heart goes out to you.

my husband and i are about to sign a property settlement. he will not file for 9 more months when we reach the state requirement of living seperate and apart for 2 years.

i have talked to my neighbor (right overmy fence) about what is going on...

my plan is to refinance and buy out my husbands share of our house. i don't have family or close friends here but my home has all of the memories of the life i had with the man i love. I have not given up hope!! By staying here, i keep contact with him that allos me to try to make some love bank deposits. Our agreement requires him to make about 30 house repairs and he has dog "visitation". we have no children so it's the best i could think of to keep him around.

i have told my neighbor that i plan to use the 9 months left to try to build a new friendship with my husband in the hopes that it might develop into something more. If it does not and he files for divorce..i will most likely consider selling the house to move closer to my family (3 hours away)

so much to my surprise....two neighbors today approached me telling me they had a friend and a relative interested in buying my house because they heard i was moving!!!!!

I calmly replied that i have no intentions of moving at this time...maybe next summer at the earliest but hopefully not at all. Both people....and they were not together..one was this afternoon while i was cutting the grass and one was this morning..both started asking about how many bedrooms and bathrooms and one said her friend would love to have my pool!!!

I was sooooooo mad!!! Again i said to both that i have no plans to move at this time. One of them then gave me a post it...with her sisters phone number on it "in case i change my mind" and told me that her brother in lawis a realator so he would do all of the paperwork and i would not have any closing costs. (how about a closing of her mouth cost??? i'd pay that!!)

I am putting a sign in my yard "This house IS NOT for sale!!!!!

treereich, and eav1967.
Thankyou for sharing your similar situations with me. It is a hard time and just another way to slam into my face that this life and this family is past.

Hopefully when the pain subsides, something good will come out of this. Maybe, it will truly be the beginning of something new, and hopefully I will be strong enough to make new dreams. I just wish I could take a piece of it with me...instead all I will have is what is in my memories and eventually that will fade away.

My H has our old house - and I suspect will end up selling it as he doesn't have any other way to pay me my share.

We built it together - our dream home. Trouble is, the architect kept tailoring it to what H wanted that I didn't want. That included H's office - size, location, windows, etc. I got the left over space, and couldn't ever actually use it because it was right over the LR and when H wanted to watch TV, I had no peace and quiet. He would not use headphones as that was inconsiderate of me to ask him to be quiet. When I tried to work in the BR, he complained about my use of that room. When I suggested moving into the unfinished basement, he said no, he was going to put a workshop there. The other biggie was the wood windows. I wanted no or low maintenance windows and trim, but H was going to take care of them and keep them painted. Yeah, right! - and now that they need replacing H thinks I should share in that cost (35 windows - do the math!).

When I moved out last fall, I realized I never felt like it was my home, and the whole last year I lived there, I dreaded going home. The dream died long ago, and the house now represents disappointments rather than happy memories. Leaving it behind was a load off my shoulders and I never want to see that house again.

Deja Vu....that's sad! I love my home. I would love to stay here. My son doesn't want to move away from his friends and neither do I. I have never had such wonderful neighbors. We are all truly great friends and do stuff together all the time. They have been here to support me and I love them dearly. I just can't bare the thought of moving away from here. It will break my heart once again.
My STBX doesn't care about this house at all. It means nothing to him but how much he can get out of it. I now realize that our family never had value to him either. SAD!!!!!

I left our family home about a month ago now... moved the kids and I into an apt and am still waiting to get in there and finish the cleaning to sell it...<sigh>

It wasn't too hard, it represented too much pain and sadness... both of WH's most recent As revealed there!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Still, now WH is moving into the doublewide we lived in before this house... the one we brought DD4 home from the hospital to! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I hope it haunts him!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

BW, tree, eav.... hugs to you all!! This letting go crap is tough!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Unfortunately it would be nice to think that the house would haunt them with memory, but that would be assuming that the had a good heart.

My ex husband lived in that house, the home we built into "our home" together, he lived there 10 months without me and it didn't seem to bother him. I didn't understand how he could move all the babysitters in (trying to replace me)with my spirit all over the house and it didn't phase him.

Eav...I am wondering if I wouldn't paint some walls, or change something up in the house to make it personal to you, even if it's just one room. I do hope that your quest to save your marriage has a happy, bright ending.

Tree,

Why do you think you'll have to sell? If you really don't want to, maybe there's a way. Since you have a son, having a home for him is important - won't the courts consider that?

My sitch is so different that I really haven't pursued that line of questioning at all. But am hoping there is a way for you.

Deja Vu...My lawyer is going to try to keep the house for me but I live in Florida. It's a no fault state and they tend to just split everything down the middle. I'm hoping and prayng that we can stay here. It's really going to be tough to move from here. It will be a very sad day!
I go to mediation on Aug. 31...so we'll see. Please keep me in your prayers.
:-)

After all f this earlier I got off my duff and rearranged MY bedroom in MY apt the way I have been wanting to for awhile...

It was so thight the way it was and now it flows so much better! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Now my back may not like me for pushing a loaded, mirrored dresser across the rug... but it is just me and I was tired of squeezing around my computer chair to get to my bathroom! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It is my home and I am proud that I am doing this for me and those babies!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

TR,

MN is a no fault state too - but I believe housing arrangements for minor children is still taken into account.

Yes, I will keep you in my prayers. Take care!

It looks like I will keep the house in the D. But, WW wont sign the quit claim until she receives equity. She is asking for 50%. Being a No Fault state, I guess it is possible that she will receive that. Being that she probably doesnt really want to go to court, I think she will accept less than that.
My parents are elderly and are considering going into an assisted care living arrangement. In order to qualify for Medicare (I think it is), they need to have an unmarried child living in their home or else they would have to sell it. My brother wants me to move in to their house, and rent mine out. I am seriously considering that option. It is actually closer to work for me.
If I stay in the house, I dont think it will prevent me from letting go of the past. I will just make new memories there....heh, heh, heh......!

So much is going on now with the D that I just can't handle selling the house on top of it. Since my WW was the accountant of the house I have to refigure the finances etc. Selling the house at this point really isn't an option, only if it will prove to be too expensive to refinance. I would tell anyone in this situation that I think it is possible to get over the memories of the house an move on. I had a hard time at first but am slowly appreciating "my house".

Post deleted by californiapoppy

californiapoppy....I know what you mean about the house being a new beginning. Same here.
My STBX never brought the OW here to our home so I would really like to stay here. This is my home and all of our friends are here. I will fight to the end for it.

I'm painting the walls as well. That will be a good start <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Moving out of our house was the worst weekend of my life...or so I thought...until the day came that it was sold...that was even worse....I cried for days!! I still do if I think about it too much. The kids and I moved into an apartment a year ago and I just can't bring myself to completely unpack. Our house was our home...we belonged there...and I don't feel like we belong in this apartment.

It's really heartwrenching when I think of all the dreams we had when we bought it....how we joked the day we planted a Maple tree that our grandkids would someday climb on it and we could hang a tire swing from one of the branches.

My heart goes out to you...I won't lie and tell you it will be okay...cuz it won't...it will suck to high heavens...but the thing that gets me through to tomorrow is repeating over and over in my head "This too shall pass..tomorrow is another day".

Hugs
Alluring