I posted this in the infedelity section, but I did not get much of a responce.

My questions is this:

A year ago, my M and I went through a seperation for a few weeks. Since that time I feel our marriage has improved.

Last Friday, my W and I went to a concert for my birthday. We have 3 kids so we don't get a chance to go on a "date" much. During the concert, my W had to use the restroom's. She was gone for about an hour. I didn't think too much of it at the time because there was a lot of people there and the lines were somewhat long for the restrooms. She came back and we went on having a great time.

Yesterday, I was doing luandry while she was taking a nap. When I went to clean out her jeans from Friday night, I found her Drivers Lisence and a business card with some guy's name on it. This struck me sort of weird. My wife is a stay at home mom, so she would not have received this card at a job. She must of got this card Friday night.

So I decided to put her lisence and this card on the counter, so I could see what she was going to do with it. I went to take a shower and when I came back, I notice her lisence and the business card was gone. I did snoop in her purse and I notice she put both items in her purse.

Now I could see her accepting a card from some guy if she was hit on; to not reject him to his face. Now that I know she has kept this card, my mind has been wandering. She can see something is bothering me, no matter how much I try to hide my concerns. I just deny anything is on my mind.

My wife has admitted to me that in a relationship before we even met that she had cheated. Now I was brought up with the idea of "once a cheat, always a cheat". But I love my wife so much that I just thought of her past as strictly the past.

I want to bring this up to her, but I don't want to falsly accuse her of anything. I am I just being paranoid or is there something to the old "once a cheat, always a cheat"?

Your advice is much appreciated.

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be. I hope you will meet all about meeting each other's emotional needs here - on the home page.

Also it is suggested that you spend 15 hours a week doing fun things together. Start making more time for you as a couple.

I think I would mention the card to my wife, and see what she says.

But your best bet is to really start working on your marriage, to keep anything like infidelity from happening.

Like believer says, ask your wife who the card was from.

Trust your instincts though, and spend some time working on being the best husband you can be.

If she is cheating, the proof WILL surface.

believer and BrambleRose,

Thanks so much for your input. My W is out of town and I so much want to talk to her about this, but I am waiting for people like you and others to give me input.

I know we have to make more of an effort to have more quality time. It is one thing that I am starving from and I am sure she wants it more too.

I plan on calling her and talking it about tonight, but I want to wait until she puts our son to bed.

I guess I am nervous of what the answer is going to be. But at the same time, I am confident, if it is bad news, that we can talk things through before she would explore different options. I am in no way saying my W is a bad person, but I know she is wanting more.