My original thread in under INFIDALITY>JUST FOUND OUT>WHY, GOD,WHY?.
Lots of people are reading it but no one is responding anymore. Does anyone have any advice or insight for me? Gosh, I’m just so lonely right now. The clock is ticking so slowly and I’m just existing one breath at a time. I don’t have anyone to talk to and I just need some human contact from anyone who might be able to make me feel like I’m still alive. I have three weeks to go until I return to the Philippines to attempt a plan A and hopefully rebuild some love. I feel so pathetically needy right now that I’m a bit disgusted with myself. I wish God would speak to me in a clear voice just this one time in my life. Honestly, a few weeks ago I was a confident man who though had a secure marriage and a bright future. I never realized how much my wife made me feel complete. I can’t believe I’m damaged goods. I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE BAGGAGE!!!! I’VE NEVER HAD BAGGAGE!!!

The beginning is really tough. I'm sorry nobody has been answering you. It's hard to tell why some posts get a lot of responses and other don't. It does get slow on weekends.

Hang in there. All of us BS have felt like you do. Needy, insecure, broken apart and oh, so sad. Just take it one moment at a time. Believe it or not, it does get better.

God speaks when God wants to speak. Are you praying and asking for the right thing? When I surrendered my marriage to God, it made a big difference. God's will be done.

I have been keeping up with your story, but don't know what to say. You and your wife are in my prayers. I have several male friends who married women from the Phillipines and brought them back home and are doing just fine.

I think the fact that she came from such dire circumstances is causing most of the problem.

Well, thanks for your responses. I know there are no easy answers to provide. I have been praying almost constantly for strength, courage, wisdom, forgiveness, and for ww’s heart to soften and listen to God. I try to surrender my marriage to God, but I’m so afraid He’ll let it slip away. I know His will be done, but I guess I’m still desperately hoping His will be as mine. I can’t imagine God’s will to be divorce. But what do you do when ww has stopped listening to her creator in favor of what she claims to be her instincts. Eve followed her instincts as did Judas. Since when has human instinct ever been trustworthy?

Thanks for the prayers. Thanks for the respite from silence.

Hi SM,

I think I know how you feel. I've been together with my wife since she was 17 & I was 20...nearly 35 years. She was the best wife in the world & I had the best marriage, I loved her more every day. This could not possibly happen to me.

We live on a mediterranean island but come from the UK. I went away to help one of our adult kids for 2 1/2 weeks. She was alone for the first time. When I got back on 4 july she told me she had fallen in love with a friend of mine I introduced to her. She moved out into his apartment 200yds away.

I nearly blew my brains out. Like you are now, I hit the bottom. There's only one way to go now...UP! I saw my doc who gave me tranquilisers. They made me feel worse. I'm now being treated by hypnotherapy. It's helping me cope with my depression, grief & I'm feeling much more positive.

I realise that I don't need my wife, I simply want her. I want her very much. That's a major difference. I've got to get better without her & get on with my life, with her or without her.

Now is the time to think of yourself.That's not being selfish. If you don't do this you're no good to anyone else.
If you're ww's affair ends, she'll be devestated & will need your help, assuming you'll take her back.

It might appear that she's in the driving seat & you're the week one. Wrong! she's displayed her weakness by betraying you. If she can't be strong, you need to be.

If you want her back, you'll appear much more attactive to her if you're, strong & getting on with life.

You need company. If you get the chance to go out with friends, go...even if you don't feel like it.

That's what I'm trying to do & it isn't easy but if I can do it, so can you.

Don't give up. Convince yourself you're a great guy & you're going make the most of your life, with her or without her.

Hi SM - I just read your story...Wow! what a tragedy. I understand your feeling very well...been there, did that and it sucks. Wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't..wisdom isn't my forte'.....just want you to know that I read your post and will offer up a prayer for you and your WW..hugs to you sadmike.

Take care and God bless,

~Jamie~

Ibiza, thanks for sharing your tragic story. I hope your wife sees the light in the near future. I really do. If your as wacked as me, you’ll still take her back. Thanks for understanding how I feel. My prayers are with you, bro.

In my case, I went to the Philippines to confront OM and he actually turned out to be a good guy. Ww had told him she left me two years ago because I beat her. After showing him recent pics etc, he believed me and went with me to confront her family to expose her. He has since changed his phone number and broken all contact with her. He feels absolutely terrible about all of this. His entire family feels shamed by ww and never wants to see her again. They are very supportive towards my desire to patch things up and offer their heartfelt prayers. Ww’s family is also devastated by all this and want nothing more than for us to mend our marriage. Ww is the only one who is resisting. Though there is no contact with om, she wants to be “independent.” She says she just doesn’t feel any love for me anymore and hasn’t been happy with me for most of our marriage. I must have been one heck of a retard not to have noticed. Why would a woman who doesn’t love a man put her arm around his waist in the middle of the night while they are half asleep and say “I love you” without any prompting? Sheesh, maybe she was dreaming of him.

Anyway, I will finish my contract in Korea in three weeks (she refused to return with me) before returning to Phils for a plan A that can only last until January 1st. After that her visa to come to Canada with me will expire and it’s all over.

MG, thanks for acknowledging my feelings. Sometimes that in itself can be soothing. Your prayers are very much appreciated and your hugs are felt from across the sea.