((((((FF)))))))))

You are in my prayers tonight - you can email me anytime you need to vent. Hang in there - you are a GREAT woman and don't deserve this

How's that Pep?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{faithful follower}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm soooo sorry!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

What's his response??

Hee hee, B I just pictured his stuff all over the front yard. I guess I really have not had any true boundaries have I? Obviously he thinks it is ok to continuing sneaking behind my back. I called both phones and the second one OW answered. Once she heard me she hung up. The voicemail message is the OC cooing. I hate her.

He was mad because I got into "his things"

Why am I surprised that every time I start to trust and believe I find these things out.

I'm tired, and for a moment I thought you wrote...

"I'm reliving food memories"

.... and I go hmmmmmm?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Believer ... I went to a women's bookreading meeting today!

I am soooooo excited. A group of same-age women who read a book every month then have a pot luck to discuss ... I am soooo fired up and excited .... it's neat to meet new people. I only knew 1 of the women until tonight .... so kewl! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

so are they "core" foods?

You are NOT an idiot ... and I'm asking you to edit this thread to say something else ... like "I am HURT" or "I am MAD as HECK" .... but do not call yourself an idiot .... because sending yourself such a negative message dis-empowers you .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

that's what I think anyway!

Sounds like fun Pep.

FF - Well it was a huge stress reliever to toss his stuff all over the front yard. And throwing the Christmas presents in the street helped too. But it didn't do anything for the marriage.

So we will have to brainstorm, and come up with something better.

and that is the truth...(Edith Ann voice and raspberry)

FF .... you have got to discover your own bottom line .... and make that your priority.

Where is the line that says .... "this far and not one inch further" ?

I thought I knew, Pep. But that line seems to be continually moved by you know who (looking down)

No one can make your boundaries weak without your help

FF

We saw this with Nio remember ? Initially he was using 'wounded nobility' to support his OC to keep up contact and feed his withdrawal.

I suspect thats why your H hasn't needed a paternity test to start 'supporting' OW.

He's a lying self deluded jerk.

I don't think anything you said to him could possibly have been underserved , and he has been home long enough now so HE should be avoiding LBs too.

I would tell him that ONCE paternity is estanblished and the COURTS decide what his involvement should be in the OCs life THEN you will support as best you an any TRANSPARENTLY PERFORMED support actions to OC.

But you will not tolerate sneaking , NC violation or lying any more.

This will be sh*t or bust FF. Remember however he whines hurt that you looked in his stuff, you were busting his secrecy NOT invading his privacy.

All blessings my DEAR friend. So sorry this is happening, but I am not surprised. After you found out about the money I thought more would come.

Prayers going up for you hon'.

{{{{FF}}}}

I was referring to *me*

thanks, Bob

"This will be sh*t or bust FF."

Bob has that right. But what EXACTLY should FF do? She has already done a large amount of talking with WH. (Believer, edging back toward the idea of tossing his belongings out in the yard).

B, and FF

FF hasn;t talked with WH knowing what she knows now. Every new discovery, good or bad, changes the dynamics of a relationsip and the discussions regarding it.

If FF still wanst to make a Go of it with WH, then as I said :

Tell him that ONCE paternity is established and the COURTS decide what his involvement should be in the OCs life THEN you will support as best you an any TRANSPARENTLY PERFORMED support actions to OC.

But you will not tolerate sneaking , NC violation or lying any more.

if not, toss that lying wastrel out on his hairy @ss.

Might also be worth 'exposing' to his brother and anyone else he might call upon to enable his 'affair' via contact with OW OC that such assitance will likely fuel your divorce.

Gloves off. Sh*t or bust.

Well, I got into the bill on line of their affair phones and they talk almost 3000 minutes per month to each other. They set the phone up back in April. He talks to her all day long starting at 6:00 am. This is not about the OC this is about them and us.

bob, I think FF's very last line may have been crossed. My DD over heard me on the phone with my WH. She is trying to be brave but she heard me tell him to get his friend out of here because he isn't staying here without my H being here.

We spoke briefly he said he wished I had not spilled the beans before he left LV but me I can never wait. He said he can barely concentrate on his driving. He promises to come completely clean when he gets home but where have I heard that before? I told him he no longer has anything to lose by telling me the whole darn truth.