awesome post stillmakingit!!!! Winter stop thinking bout him and wondering whats he doing, is he missing us etc... I know I did it for a month when she left, and it was the most miserable existance. DD actually got tired of talking with me, because I was a broken record, now if I try to bring up the subject, she has been instructed to say "shut up Dad".
We've had more fun in the past 2 weeks, watching TV together going out to eat etc.
You can listen to WS, but don't believe anything or try to read into their madness, you will be sad and feel less about yourself later.

I agree with Bigwave - "awesome post stillmakingit"!!!

Winter, it's your decision. You can waste time thinking about WS, or not. If you do, remember that you would be agreeing with WS - life is all about THEM and nobody else. Is this what you what to say?

winter-hang in there, glad you are on Ad's . Give them time as some take up 2 weeks for full effect. I read something somewhere that said WS tend to gravitate to the path of least resistance, by continue to pull at him, he probably will pull equally in the opposite direction. You never catch a wild horse by chasing it, you usually can shake a feed buckt and await for them to run thmesleves out and they walk to you. And in the meantime you are taking care of WINTER and children.

thanks guys- I am in school- but im going to drop one of my classes on saturday. My heart is just not in it. I will still have the others on MOn and Wed. I did get ascholarship- yeah - Im trying to be really happy.
lunamere- your right time is wasting -
mimi/ still here/ bigwave- I do want my WH- everynight i think about him holding her and not me. I awake in the morning to a empty bed with me holding onto the pillow.
I dont want to feel this pain anymore. I want to love my kids and be happy. I want the dreams to stop or the tears to flow when you see other couples.
Im not looking for ano0ther guy. At first I just wanted someone to pay me attention because I felt like I was othrown away like garbage. I'm realizing ithat I am a wonderful , sweet , beautiful woman who loved someone so dearly- who decided he wanted to love someone else.
You right MIMI he has to give up OW before any healing can happen- and he dosent want to now. I dont oknow when or if he will wake up. I have started to withdraw from him as my feelings and emotions are so raw and everytime he opens his mouth it is like a sword in my heart.
I was trying Plan A with no results except for him telling me - I havent changed my mind- im not coming home- just back off and give me space.
I want to preserve any love I have for him so I talk to him only about bills and kids. No r talk and I am nice but brief with him.
He did buy me a battery for my car as it stopped on me friday- but I need the car to take kids to school.
I said thanks and left.
I have curtailed all the calls to his job and cell phone.
I looked at me in the mirror on Saturday and Sunday and dont like what im seeing. I was happy and vibrant and now I see sadness. I dont want to be like this and have someone bring me down.
I do try to leave on a positve or good note with him but hes just cake-eating. I felt like the OW. I am not going to sleep with him- that was a mistake. He is w/me and OW- no i do have dignity and respect. I lost it for a moment in despiration- but no more.

mimi- he wont even tell me what brought him to vanessa,
he just says its not her its me you need to be concerned with.
Im the one- its between us. pI said ok than what was it i didnt meet with you. He just says it wasnt one thing its over time little things. He says stuff like I told him he needed to keep himself cleaner, or that when he smoked marijuana it turned me off- because he reeked of this. He says he comes in when he wants, does what he wants, AND SHE is fine with everything.
iHe has lost weight- cleans himself up and is looking for another job. He couldnt do this with me?

Winter:

He's not going to tell you what led him into the A..

WSes are in a fog...

What is your own intuition about this?

Read up on PLAN A again WINTER...What do you need to change to make yourself the best person and the the best wife that you can be?

YOU WILL NOT SEE ANY RESULTS QUICKLY...

winter---how goes it today?

I think maybe i took him for advantage- or didnt spend enough time with him as we have kids. Maybe he felt neglected- i know I did.
We were not playmates anymore everything was serious.
Im willing to try and work on this, ive even said i was sorry if i had done things that pushed him away.
Bigwave- Im ok- just trying to see how i can be a better me and have more confidence and beief in my self. I

bump up please

Winter-- I know what you mean about getting caught up in lifes daily grind, and when you add children into the mix, natrually somethings get left negelected. Unfortunately this sometimes leaves us/spouses vulnerable to different temptaions (alcohol,drugs,opposite sex etc..) I know looking back on my own situation the EN's I was failing to meet led to my WW looking elsewhere.
Hopefully he will wake up and see how you are trying to do and work on the things that led him to stray.
Hang in there...

He asked me to meet him for lunch today and i will keep it light and no r talk. well see how it goes.

THat will be good. Meeting in public will help each of you to control your respective emotions etc. Make sure you wear the perfume he likes as hopefully this will trigger good memories. No R talk. Good luck let us know how it goes....

he has called and had to change the time- he was stuck at work- so no lunnch, he was suppose to meet today w/ me and daughter- same thing.
he claims the persons didnt show at work-


didnt get mad- daughter just said par for the course -
i left and came on to class- if he calls or shows kids will be there he can take them for dinner.

im not going to call him- im too tired and it will show in my voice the frustration.

Next time he calls , maybe tell him "that time is no good for you as you have plans"(but be vague about the plans) and come up with another time. That way you have some control over the situation and it doesn't appear that you are their at his beckon call.
This advice was given to me byt the "wise ARK". Trust me he will call again and if you do the above it will get him thinking and wondering.

still making it-
Is plan B what you used to get your wh back? How long was the road from affair to recovery?
Did you want to just give up?
Is everything fine now.