Hi--

My H has had several affairs at his workplace since 1998. He left in 2003 when I found out, since he has no intention of coming back to the marriage, I asked for a divorce March 2005. He refused.

I'm thinking, if I exposed his multiple affairs in the office, or even his last one (the OW still works there), he might divorce me.

I've considered informing his managing director, but I am 100% certain she would not do anything. The affairs are still unknown to many... I have thought about telling the receptionist-- I don't know her, but for sure, word would get around.

Hi rufflednot-

Sorry you find yourself here in the infidelity seats but WOW can I relate to your comment !!

I'm stuck too, you are NOT alone. I am unarmed in a battle of money, can't afford $ 300/hr to fight for my freedom. We've been apart almost 9 months. Most normal people would let go. I don't want money or stuff- just out would be great.

Are you hoping to provoke him to release you?

Why does your H refuse a divorce? I think my H has power & control issues, among many other issues, that complicate my Plan B. My latest "PLAN" is to admit my defeat and play dead. I know, not much of a plan....

What's your story? Is H living alone or with a special someone?

I'm here to listen or post if you need to vent to another marriage hostage.

That's me, OPO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Dear OPO

Thanks for replying my post.
Yes, you are right, I am trying to provoke my H into giving me a divorce. And I am (ashamed) to say, I was feeling very vindictive when I posted. I know for a fact he works in an industry where gossip will tarnish his reputation. I know reputation is very important to H-- pride would be the last thing he wants to lose.

I feel better now, though... not vindictive. Work took that away.

I believe H doesn't have anyone special at this moment, although I would not discount the fact that he may be on the 'hunt'. Why doesn't he want to give me a divorce? He is just too selfish. He wants me to pay $$ for the divorce. He doesn't want to put in a dime. Control issues, yes.

I don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to be married on paper and have no husband. I want to be able to tell people I'm divorced when they ask where my husband is (although I am sure that would be another difficult hurdle when the time comes). I am learning to love myself and I just want to carry on with my life.

Ruff

If your still around and want to some alternatives on how to get a divorce then please post back to me. I don't want to type up a big response if your not around.

I am an attorney and have a suggestion or two about getting a divorce on the cheap.

Query?

1. Approximately how much and what kind of assets need dividing?

2. Kids?

3. What State are you in?

4. Is husband supporting you now?

5. Are you still maintaining hope of reconciliation?

Mr. Wondering

1. Approximately how much and what kind of assets need dividing?
One apartment. I have prove that I paid every cent on mortgage. We both agree I will get the apartment.

2. Kids? None

3. What State are you in? We're in Malaysia!

4. Is husband supporting you now? No.

5. Are you still maintaining hope of reconciliation? No.

I asked the bar council-- I have to get a lawyer as the courts would not allow petition without one. I want H to pay for the D and the transfer of half his share of the apartment. It comes to $7,000 ++ and the lawyer is asking for $2,400 as first payment, which H claims he does not have.

I want H to pay cost of D. That's the most gentlemanly thing he can do after so many years of cheating and then leaving. He gave very little monetarily during the marriage. Ideas most welcomed!!