I have been totally dark since 10/13; WH has not even called to see the kids. I am kind of wondering if it is my fault b/c the last time I talked to WH, he was threatening to file a RO against me and promised to file for D.

Well I responded “good, I can get temporary spousal and child support. You would have to file a parenting plan which would state when and by which method you would see the kids.” I told him that if he kept calling me threatening and bullying me that I will file a RO against him. I told him to leave me alone until he filed for the D or wanted to work on M. Well it has been 2 weeks and nothing, no D filing, no RO, no nothing, not even him wanting to see the kids.

My BIL called him today and told him that I had filed CS against him with the state and WH said good, I was hoping she would b/c they are my responsibility. WTF does that mean; if he wanted to take care of his “responsibilities” so bad then why not give me money, why not file for D to speed up the process of support? BIL said that it made no sense what he said, I told BIL to ignore everything he says b/c everything he says, he has proven, is a lie.

Anyhow, does anyone think that since I told him that stuff when I last talked to him, that he is thinking I meant as far as the children are concerned, even though I NEVER denied him seeing them when he has asked or is he just using it as an excuse to detach himself completely for their lives also? Please help b/c I cannot live with myself if I am the cause of them not seeing their dad.

lashelle...

I am going to try to help you..

your husband is a chronic cheater....
this is not was not just some deep emotional affair that went physical...your man uses women and himself to feel good....

do you believe in your heart of hearts he is interested in changing...because he is far far removed from understanding true fidelity...

the casuality is the five children..........what a schmuck.


Also...
I read some of your other posts...and it doesn't sound like a good plan A was established...
and without the true letter and understanding of where you stand in this chaos ..you currently aren't in plan B...

BUT before you do anything...you must really search inside and see if this can be saved.....

he's a chronic user.........

also on what grounds do either of you to have throw around the word restraining order.........

ARK

Thanks arks,

Right now, IMO, I would have to say that he is truly not wanting to change, he really feels as if he is doing nothing wrong.

You are absolutely right, the children are the ones who are suffering the most.

Also b/c we were separated suddenly, I probably did not do a good Plan A but I did try.

I did do a PBL back in Aug.

I truly believe if he will go get professional help then the marriage can be saved b/c he wasn't always like this.

And about the RO, I believe he says that just to get me to back off b/c of the exposure that I have been doing.

And I tell him to go ahead with it b/c I have done nothing wrong but he has threatened me before b/c of his anger. And also back in April, he was asked to leave the home by the police b/c he hit me, that is why I tell him that the judge would more liken give me the RO against him b/c of that.

Okay just talked to MIL to see if WH has any plans on seeing the kids soon, she said they have not heard from him for about 2 weeks now.

It has been about 3 weeks since Plan B and he has not even a remote interest in the kids either. He has not called to talk to them, has not made plans with his parents to see them, so now what? I know I cannot force him to see them but he is ruining his relationship with them. I wish there was a way to make him see this.

My DD8 asked me yesterday if daddy still loved them and why hasn’t he called or saw them in a long time(a little over a month). I just told her that I did not know to call and ask him. She tried to call him Monday, he did not answer (I’m sure he thought it was me calling), she left a message and he did not call back.

The kids and I have been doing a lot of things together the past couple of weeks-I have been trying to get their minds off of him for a while. I know they miss their dad terribly, I just don’t know what else to do for them, and what is he thinking.

Anyone else ever have a WS detach from their children? Please help me with this.

BUMP ^ for help