New Woman,<P>I think you've made my day. If I knew how to make those little smiley faces, I'd put one right here. Thank you so much.

WOW, seems I've missed a lot! PodPerson put up with being treated badly for 20 YEARS!! And people are put off from her behavior!! PLEEEZE!!! I am surprised she was able to keep her sanity!!! When a betrayer comes in and says "Oh, I feel sooooo sorry for what I have done", everyone welcomes her/him with open arms and lets him/her speak their hearts out! But when someone says "Yes, after 20 YEARS of ABUSE, trying to communicate, trying to get H to go to counseling, etc. I cheated and I don't regret it, because it seems to have finally openned my H eyes to the seriousness of my pain"! Alot of people have a problem with condemning this woman. Yes, we all know 2 wrongs don't make a right, but come on people, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE out in the world that have to literally be hit over the head or in the heart for them to realize what they are doing to their spouse and the relationship. Sometimes it takes a "BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY" approach....I am all for rebuilding and whatever it takes to get it done then do it! GoodLuck Pod!

Trying 2_4give,<P>Thank you so much. I figured out how to make a smiley face, so here you go

Dear Podperson:<BR>I was really curious as to why you did not go for a divorce from your husband? If you feel that you would do it again, why even go through that again? Yes, you did what you did and now you are working on the marriage. BUT, if it doesn't work out, you will do it again? I would have packed his stuff and put them out on the driveway and told him see you later. After all that has happenned with your affair and him treating you like that for 20 years, which is a hell of a long time, why would you even stay with him if it doesn't work out? Just think of the 20 years that you wasted if he treated you like that, where you could have been with someone that treated you like a queen, like a wife should be treated, like you should be treated. I hope that it works out for you and your marriage. However, from reading on the post, you do sound very very angry and by all means, you should be for what has happenned to you for sooooo long. But, wouldn't it have been better to communicate with him and tell him that you demanded to be treated with respect and love, etc...and if not, then you will file for divorce? Just wondering why you didn't pursue that avenue.