Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 22 1 2 3 4 5 21 22
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Orchid,
Thanks. I keep telling myself that what he is sending her is BS. It cannot be true....I honestly want to believe he is rationalizing everything in his head with this BS because otherwise he would actually have to face what has happened......

Yet, I think I have lost him.....it does not seem at all that he will fight to be with me......he rather discard me....he never fought for us to begin with......

I wrote out the timeline when I speak to the Harleys...and I realized that any time he shut me out and we had more problems was whenever we had to deal with life......first when I was looking for a job and we did not know where we would end up....then all the wedding planning....then he looking for a job after the wedding.....he actually expected to sit at home (take one class)......I would have been more understanding of that if he actually did something at home....no he just wanted to hang......take one class.....and enjoy life while I provided and then he was irritated by my wanting to budget.....and save...and my talk of kids.....etc...

At any time that we faced decision than I was a nuisance to him.....I don't see how I can save a M or a R that never was really good.......it was an R that should not have turned into an M because that is not what he wanted....he just wanted to have the fun and games and he was still toying with me a month ago........and now, instead of admitting to someone else that he was not ready for M....(as he told me when he left me)......he just dismisses it all and is blameless.......

I am not blameless, I did pleanty wrong......I told him that on Tuesday......and I am ready and willing to do better and I am working on myself.......but he has said nothing to me in months.....just I want my space....and all I want is friendship.......

I really wonder how we can save a M that never really was a M.....

I'll see what S.H. sais.....but I really see my H not wanting to be a part of a serious R.....he should probably stick with dating....and not go beyound that......until he gets a clue.....

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 140
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 140
Daisy,

Has your H ever had his depression treated? I find the whole depression thing to be the most curious part of your story.

My W's OM recently told his wife that he was making an appointment with a psychiatrist. He asked her for the phone number for the Dr. that they were thinking of sending to when they were still together. And he actually said to her what if medicine makes him realize what he threw away.


ncn BS - 27 (me) WW - 23 (living with OM since 9/16) OM - 32 (OMW - 33) no kids/pets in either marriage d-day - 9/12/05 EA/PA - 6/05-present Exposed to OMW 10/5/05, Exposed to ILs 10/18/05
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
ncn....

He sought help before we met....he had a lot of issues...drugs..depression....and went to get help....he was on medication through out the R......but he never let me be a part of that....he would never come to me....he told me I should know how he feels and that is that.......I hate that I keep beating myself up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />......

Just as Jean36 I just want to wake up and it be a year later.....and be past all this.....

Thanks for your insights ncn.....the depression is a major part....H did not want to hear that....but I did not mean that just because it was a major part that that somehow ment that it was mostly his fault...NO!...all I was trying to say was that it was there and we had to find some way to deal with it......

I am sorry for the situation you are dealing with <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />.....I don't think I could function as well as you if my H was living with OW.....just these emails are too much.....

BTW, I did laugh today when you said you almost call WW's OM ..your OM....that would definately add another layer to the story would it not......thanks for that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />!

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
I was driving in the car and heard the Melissa Etheridge song : I'm the Only One

Although I don't know if H has OW...he for sure has OW fantasy.......the song just kind of hit me.....

****************************
Please baby can't you see
My mind's a burnin' he$$
I got razors a rippin' and tearin' and strippin'
My heart apart as well
Tonight you told me
That you ache for something new
And some other woman is lookin' like something
That might be good for you

Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone
Go on believe her when she tells you
nothing's wrong
But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
It's only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one

Please baby can't you see
I'm trying to explain
I've been here before and I'm locking the door
And I'm not going back again
Her eyes and arms and skin won't make
it go away
You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow
That holds you down today

Go on and hold her till the screaming is gone
Go on believe her when she tells you
nothing's wrong
But I'm the only one
Who'll walk across the fire for you
I'm the only one
Who'll drown in my desire for you
It's only fear that makes you run
The demons that you're hiding from
When all your promises are gone
I'm the only one


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
daisy

I've already stood by my H through so much...

i winder what makes him think that this woman who didn't stand by her H who has been her best friend since 9th grade will stand by him

i stopped listening to the radio...i can't deal with it

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
eav,
Yah, I have stopped listening to a lot of music.....

I listen more to foreign music now...or just classical....

A lot of other music (like a stupic song - don't know the name - were she says "bet you wish your GF was hot like me" or something like that....really annoys me!!!!)

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
We got a nice blanket of snow overnight....

I was out there shaffeling the snow along with other neighbors....Just like every year I realized that it is the men out there....I have yet to see a woman shaffeling the snow....Lucky them! Sadly I realized that if H was home I still would be out there since he did not do that anyway. I can litteraly recall only 1x that he did it last year and he complained about it and was ticked of at me for bothering him......

I ask myself what did he do for me, what EN of mine did he ever try to meet even after I spelled it out for him. None. If I discussed it he found me annoying and called me whiny so I said nothing...but when I did speak up he just looked at me and did nothing about what I said anywya....

I just read Jean36's thread....and I feel so in sink with her thread.....I know that H would never come back to the M and do his part.......

He never wanted to do his part....H is a nice person, I'll never take that away from him....He would give to people his last $.....but the way he wants to live his life is so different from mine.....I cannot invision sitting at home and play guitar for months while he works and then have him come home and do all the house work.....I just cannot even comprehand that kind of behaviour.....I think it is a definition of a renter and noone can change him......sadly I don't think he even wants to change.

There were times, he would write me a card and appoligize for being "so selfish" and for not helping me.....and said he would do better.....but he did not.....I don't think he wanted to do anything different....he was quite complecent....

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Daisy,

With an attitude like that you may not even want that H as he was back (much less a WS). I hear what u r saying. Mine was the same way. People thought he was such a giving person. In reality, at home he was anything but. He did what he thought he needed t/d and the rest just didn't get done. In fact his being home made more work for me.

After the shock of the A wore off, I realized that wow, I got more accomplished, more stayed organized and I felt more in control of our lives w/o him there. That was a revelation of sorts. I am a major giver due to my upbringing. H's family were majorly dysfunctional and some of them turned into whiners and takers. I had a taker. His mother even apologized directly to me for neglecting her son during his childhood. She warned me (after we were married <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> - yea thanks MIL) that our married life c/b harder as a result. It sure was.

What that meant was when he came home.....each time he came home with the knowledge and seeing for himself how much we really didn't need him. He saw many of the problems he had, he had taken with him. Our child and I for the most part are fairly easy to get along with. Don't need much and can stand on our own. I needed that confidence shown to me. I knew I had it in me, just didn't want to acknowledge it and use it. Was I better off without him? In a way, yes. But we were a family. I loved him as my H and he is the father our of child. The memories, history and responsbilities together along with God's help would make us a family again, only if and only if all of us did our parts.

My part included giving him more responsibility at home. He started to help around the house (i.e. vaccuuming, cooking, babysitting, even folding clothes, cleaning the bathroom, etc.)......hm.... my house didn't fall apart when he did it. It wasn't exactly as I'd like it but I learned to adjust. It did give me a bit more time (that at that time, work consumed) but together our family learned t/d more and get closer. H discovered a bit of pride (the right kind) and accomplishment and I learned t/d less. Yea, for me doing less got more. Sounds crazy? That's what really happened.

JMHO,
L.

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Orchid,
Thank you for you perspective.....it is true....Just as I don't want to be just that person I was in our M and I am working on me....I would like the man back that he himself wanted to be....It sounds silly I know, but I really believe he wanted to be a good H but....sometimes it is just easy to stay were you are and make youself comfortable in your hole...why not, if you spend a while digging it.....I was the same way....and I realize I got a lot of growing to do.....I am sad that I will not get a chance to work with him on this....Given his letter to this friend....I see that he really is bitter and hates the fact that all R and friendships turn to work.......but how do I convince him that the work that it takes is rewarding and can be enjoyed along the way......

I am so tempted to go over there and reason with him.....I have to keep telling myself that he would not hear me....

I called the Harleys yesterday and left a message. I hope to hear from them tomorrow....I just want to make that appointment. Is it typical for them to take several days to return the call?

Thank you all....

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 140
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 140
Daisy, I've never left a message myself, but it wouldn't hurt to give them another call tomorrow. If you call on a weekday during normal business hours US central time (does Canada have different names for the same time zones?), you should be able to get ahold of a receptionist. If you hit voice mail, just call back a little while later.

SH is probably very busy next week since he has taken a little over a week off. I don't know about Jennifer, though.

[color:"#01BB1E"]ncn[/color]

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
thanks ncn....

I kind of figure they'll be busy now...

I wonder if I should just make an appointment with Jennifer....or should I just wait it out for S.H.?

Anyone got any thoughts?

Thanks...

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
Daisy,

I am sorry to hear that you feel in sync with me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> LOL, I guess it isn't all that bad.

I know exactly how you feel about the shoveling snow thing. When I moved back in, my neighbor was so happy to see me, he figured the yard work would get done now. That is one thing that the men that know us are amazed about. I never asked my H to do a thing, nothing. What in the world is he going to think when OW expects him to clean gutters, weedeat or gasp! take out the trash!

My H worked hard and then planted his butt in his spot and played Xbox. That was his life. He said all I wanted from him was a peni$ and a paycheck, and I am thinking, OK-you are going to work anyway, and you love your job, and you are upset that your wife loves SF with you!!

Honestly though, in my screwed up mind, I think that was part of the problem. I feel like I never pushed him to be a great husband. I set the bar too low, I was never dissapointed, but he didn't have a direction. I just figured not being a nag was a plus for me, but maybe not.

People think that I am a ball busting, woman's libber, independant and stubborn gal. But what I really want is to be cherished and protected and a man who will check my oil for me. I just never got that from my H, so I acted like I didn't want it. Sadly, I think he wants a damsel in distress, and we just don't know how to trust those roles with each other.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 782
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 782
White Daisy-
From the emails it really sounds like your H is lost in the
same "fantasyland" as mine ! Seems like as soon as they are
unhappy or discontent about something, all they can do is
jump right into looking for an "out"- in my WH's case- the
internet and a OW, and in your H case, an old girlfriend he
thinks might make him feel better.
Seems like both of them are really out of touch with reality
and instead of seeking help to find the source of their issues they just keep searching for some "magic cure", which
of course, doesn't exist.
I still hear from my WH every day or every other day, but
I know he's still seeing the OW, so nothing has changed.
He called the night before Thanksgiving- said he "assumed"
I'd be spending the day with my parents. When I said I wasn't because they had volunteered to help serve a dinner
at a homeless shelter he told me they should "get their
priorities straight" !!! I about hit the roof thinking he
had a lot of nerve to say such a thing when he's the one who
has deserted his wife, dog and home to spend the holiday with a trashy w***e !!!! I have been trying hard to keep
my thoughts and feelings to myself, but after his comment
I did say some things- like how rotten it felt to know he
was spending the day with her (he never would admit it, but
I called his rented room and he wasn't there all day), how
much it hurts to have everthing we had fading away, how
much harder it is due to the holidays, etc.
He said it was very hard for him too (he says that alot, I
guess to alleviate his guilt) and that he did think of and
remember me (and the dog)and the special times we had, did
still have feelings for me, etc. He said that it wasn't so
simple and that we couldn't just get back together and have
everything all suddenly fixed. I said I did not think it
would be simple, would require a lot of work, would need
counseling seperately and joint, would take changes on both
sides, but that (as he knew) I was willing to make that
effort and do the work, just couldn't do his part for him.
Said I felt most sad when thinking that we had such a big
potential and it never got a chance. Said I just didn't
understand how and why he would go back with a person like
the OW, who had called me to purposely hurt me and get info
on him, who had listened to and deleted his cell phone calls, who had openly admitted she was with him because she
thought he made a lot of money and it would be "condusive"
to the lifestyle she wanted, etc. He said that wasn't so
simple either (I assume he meant breaking it off with OW).
Don't know why- he had no problem blowing me off !!!
WH ended the conversation that night saying maybe we could
get together Fri to talk more..

Had a decent TGiving, as friends invited me over, but it sure wasn't fun to realize he was spending the day with OW.
I know my friend meant well, but being there "conspicously"
alone, made me feel like everyone felt sorry for me, which
I hate. I have also been feeling a great resentment and
hate for OW. I felt sorry for her at first, thinking she
had innocently gotten herself into the situation with WH,
but Ive realized since how very manipulative she seemed to
be, and since she's continued to have the A with him since
talking to me, I now know she's not the innocent victim-
I sure expect she probably told WH total lies about her
conversation with me and has likely tried to use everything
she knows against me or our M. I also suddenly have a huge
desire to know what she looks like.

Wh did call me Friday morning and although he sounded very
grouchy, he called later and asked me to lunch. We met,
and I assumed we were going to talk, so had tried to "prep"
what I would say, but we were at a sports bar type of place
and it was so loud, we couldn't really talk. He didn't ask
about my holiday and I just asked if he'd had a nice day,
but didn't get any info. Don't know why he works so hard
at keeping it all a secret when it's not-
Did talk some about how his new job is going and he gave me
his new business card. Also said his benefits start Dec 1
(since he went back to his old job, they gave him his
senority back so he didn't have to wait for benefits) and
he would like my help with doing the insurance paperwork.
When we left, he gave me a little hug-something that has
not happened for a long time-

Later that afternoon and again Fri evening he called- but
then of course, I didn't hear anything all day yesterday.
I never hear anything on Saturdays- I assume he stays over
at OW for the weekend.
Today he stopped by, as usual, to get his mail, drop off
receipts, see the dog,etc. He was pleasant and joking. He
brought the insurance paperwork and asked if I could do it
since I have always done ours and am familiar with it.
We did sit down to talk a bit, and he was back on the
"I'm not happy, and at least right now don't want to be
married" mode. I've heard him say this SO many times and
really think it is him blaming me and the marriage for his
depression,or an excuse. I did try to talk calmly and
quietly though. Said he was the only one who knew how he
felt, that I had no doubt he did not feel happy, but that
I wondered why he didn't want to go to therapy, why he
didn't want to get to the bottom of his unhappiness and
discontment before he decided it was me and the marriage.
He really pushed my patience by saying he "didn't want to
be with anyone, wanted his space" when he probably had
come from spending the night with OW !!!!! I tried to say
that doesn't make sense- that if he wanted space, why would
he have immediately hooked up with another person, moved
right in with her, spend all his time with her, and that
she is far more controlling, manipulative, and dishonest
than I could ever be, so he had gone from the frying pan
into the fire ! He kept saying "it isn't the same as
being married- to which I said, "yes, not right now, but
she already said to me that you'd eventually being getting
married", so that certainly sounds like her plan down the
road. (I personally think the whole line about him wanting
his space and not being happy being married is his foggy
WH talk anyway as it makes no sense with his actions !)
Wonder if anyone else has heard that line ???

Have felt very sad since he left. Last year we had a very
nice Christmas with his parents and daughter here, so we
were very busy with cleaning, shopping, decorating, cooking,
etc. and this year it's just me alone here at the house.
Without Wh, his family, or my step-daughter to shop for,
my list will be very short (which is good since my budget
is small), and I haven't decided if I want to decorate or
do much to celebrate. Hearing all the holiday music, going
to my office party alone, and all the other things going on
just seem to remind me that my H is gone.

Sounds like you are going to wait until you talk to one of
the Harleys, but maybe go to a full Plan B soon ? I think
that may be all that's left as an option for me too.
Sorry to sounds like a downer- it's one of those days.
Slammed

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
I ran into H today....he talked to me just like always....nice conversation....I tried....I could not help but wonder if he has been lying to me for some time....

Anyway, I remebered Jean's thread and I felt that I too have this need to be rejected by this man over and over....and over again....I ended up stopping by his place....

What did I think I would get out of it....silly me...thought I could be close to him....well...probably just made a full of myself....told him I was there because I just missed him.....he ended up holding me and we just set like that on this little love seat his got in his room....

If he thought I would not notice these candles by his bed or if he just plain does not care if I notice I don't know.....but I did notice....3 candles....1 was a nice yellow container....

Could there be another explanation......I think not!!!!

I did not say anything.....he gave me a hug and told me it was nice to see me....I did not believe him.....he could see that....so said "really"....yah right!

So, I know this man. In Oct. he wanted sex with me...would ask me! Now, when I hinted at it (before I saw the candles) he made it clear that it would be confusing now given where 'we' are.....

I know him. He never bought candles when we were together....and the fact that there is a nice decorative one there confirms it.

I am so stupid. I had the email and what did I expect that he is not sleeping with someone else.....He must just be laughing at me....

Why did I not confront him.....I guess because I don't know what I would say if he told me that he has the right to do what he wants now. We are not together......Is he right? Does he have the right to be with someone now without telling me?

Thank you for your thoughts....I am really down here....this week has been he$$....I have been naive....

Daisy

Last edited by white_daisy; 11/27/05 08:19 PM.

Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Should I just go confront him and get it over with or should I follow him or hier a PI?

I am completely lost....I really don't know what to do.....I never thought I would have to confront him about anything like this.......and I really think that he has put 'us' behind him and does not care......but then if that is true why not tell me....because it is none of my business or what?????

I am completely lost again.......

Daisy

Last edited by white_daisy; 11/27/05 08:22 PM.
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
(((Daisy)))

I don't know what to tell you. My WH never denied the A after he got busted (well he is still denying the PA) but I still had this need to get it through my head. I just got off the phone for another round of stomp Jean's heart. Yeah, it is a sick need I have... But, I will not continue pining away, I will let him stomp and stomp until he kills that last little bit of love and loyalty. For today, I have decided against plan B, just let him bleed me until I have nothing left.

OK, enough of the dramatics. Do what you gotta do to know what you are dealing with. If he denies an A, what are you going to do? If he confirms and A, what then?

I peronally, would probably call and ask, just let him know that it will help you get closure or whatever bunk he wants to hear. At least then you will know what you are dealing with.

Don't take my advice though, I am pretty fried right now and questioning my masochistic nature.


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Jean....thanks for your thoughts....I understand the need to give it one more shot and then one more shot and on and on until you got nothing to give....that is how I feel sometimes.....but something tells me that is not the best strategy.......

I just want to know what is going on....I want to know why in the last month he has changed towards me.....or if he has been lying all along and was just taking me for a ride.


I just cannot believe he is such a two face.....it is unbelievable to me.....he held my hand and huged me and held me close.....then huged me before I left and kissed my forhead.......how could he do that?????


I am so confused.......if he is sleeping with someone....given our situation can he argue that it is NOT cheating?????

My friend's H does not think it is considered cheating at this point....because he has not said we would work on anything....because we are not living together.....because he has defacto ended it.....

So, is there any point to really getting into it with him? I feel like I have already lost so much of my dignity here....I am afraid to loose more.....

I am just plain confused now.....

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Save those thoughts. You will get your chance to expose again. I suspect candles, yellow containers are now a trigger 4 u. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Remember those candles the next time you get the urge to visit a WS instead of your H.

U want to laugh? I found a container of an 'energy powder drink' from the OW. Yea, she thought she was gonna make him healthy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> He brought that container in the house, I threw it out, said it must have worms in it or something yucky. LOL!!!!

L.

Last edited by Orchid; 11/27/05 09:46 PM.
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
W
Member
OP Offline
Member
W
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,182
Orchid....

Thanks. You make me laugh....I need that.

I feel quite pathetic over here.....do I need to see them sleep together before I get a clue?

Yes, yellow candle containers will be a trigger for me now....as will the name Kim (sorry Kimberly234 I don't mean you <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />....)

Daisy


Me: 30 WH: 29 WH: left May 8th, 2005 Now: no contact with WH since 07/02/2006 Ark on Plan A plan a tips and musings...get grounded here betrayed spouses...............JUST BE STILL...........
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 4,138
daisy

regardless of what anyone thinks-including your H who of course wold think he's not cheating based upon the circumstances-the law says you are married until granted an absolute divorce. Even with a legal separation, although people DO still have sex with others, it's considered adultry in the eyes of the law....not to mention in the eyes of GOD!

Page 3 of 22 1 2 3 4 5 21 22

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 427 guests, and 39 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
hannelevanska, azmat, Enchorial, sengamutasa, Molly Wilson
71,941 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Nosey Neighbors gives me Anxiety
by Samuel Connely - 01/26/25 11:18 AM
Famous Quotes
by Samuel Connely - 01/26/25 11:17 AM
Loss of libido/Sexual Attraction
by Samuel Connely - 01/26/25 11:12 AM
Advice pls
by Samuel Connely - 01/24/25 05:34 PM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Samuel Connely - 01/24/25 03:31 PM
Separation
by Samuel Connely - 01/24/25 03:25 PM
Can I become attracted to anyone?
by Samuel Connely - 01/24/25 03:22 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,620
Posts2,323,484
Members71,942
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5