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#1Mom,

Sounds like you had a nice lunch, and definitely take your H up on the extra 8 minutes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

I don't watch any soaps because I'm always working , but I used to watch Days of our lives way back when I was in H.S. I was a big General Hospital fan back then also==the whole Luke & Laura era, but you may be too young to remember that. I was heavy into GH because it came on after I got home from school while I could only watch DoL when we didn't have school.

What other tv shows do you watch? I don't watch very much for myself, but I like ER, CSI, Without a trace, and the Law & Order shows. I rarely watch them because most of the time I"m too tired to stay up until 11:00.

I'm looking forward to going over the answers tonight. At his suggestion, we did it based on how we felt the other was meeting ENs a year ago (pre-A), and now. So we have two answers to discuss--then and now...We haven't gotten into any other discussion points yet. I'm not pushing him at all. I have some other things for him to read later as we move along. One is the letter to the BS that you posted. I really want him to read that as I think he will identify with it and see that I understand his feelings. I think that if we do a little bit every day this week, by the weekend when we have more time, we can get into the fact that I need to discuss the A and have questions about it. right now we are focusing on the marriage and how to rebuild it. I think we will do the LB questionnaire tomorrow night. i would love to buy the MB homestudy course or call the Harleys', but don't have the money right now. He had a hard time putting down the number of times/day/week/month that he needed some of the needs to be fulfilled. I agreed with him that it seems kind of hard to say I need to be admired twice a week. So it shows me that he is taking it seriously and not just filling it in without thinking.

Hope the rest of your day goes well. Pat yourself on the back for facing your sadness and getting away from it...


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Mamafish,

We really don't watch to much tv these days.I use to love er.After this happened i stopped watching it.We spend time listening to soft music at night.Like sounds of the ocean,rain thunder stroms.Its rather soothing.We just lay there and talk maybe hold each other and you know make love.I still feel wired saying it that way.But i love the way it sounds.Latley we have been listening to harry potter.Other than that the only show we got into together was the biggest loser.That was brought me down,you'd here these peoples stories,they would talk about missing there families.It was heart breaking at times.

I am glad to i did things to keep myself busy.I tried going back,even then i did'nt.Something would'nt let me.

Thats good your doing the questions over a couple of days this way its more time together.

Have a great night.
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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I liked ER too but have gotten away from it this season. I have a different perspective on alot of shows now so I find that I don't enjoy them like I used to. Also music. Too many songs on the radio that I can't listen to anymore. Listening to soothing sounds is a good thing to do at night so you can talk or whatever...

Keep up the positive attitude. I know you will do just fine...

have a good night!


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Mamafish,

I don't even want to start with songs.We have so many.A few are remember when.(Alan Jackson)somewhere other than the night(Grath brooks)A song for my H that he listened to Cols(crossfade)a song about a gut who cheated and was nothing without the person he did this to.Thru the yrs.Don't remember the singer.Ones that he recorded for me that is I'm all out of love by (air suply)I have so many.We had a cd with nothing but these and other tear jerkers.I lost it.Maybe its for the best.I would cry listening to it.

Even movies Like The Notebook,That was a tearjerker.We had to stay away from movies that had drama or that were to intence because for a while we both were going thru panic attacks and just could'nt watch them.I want to get back into the love stories tho.My H would never watch my types of movies.Now he is willing.

It just sucks how everyday life could bring you back to the worst part of your life.

I will have a great night,My daughter has dance,then once they go to bes.I will take a hot bath with Hubby and tell him about my 8 min backrub.

Talk to you later
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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I hear you about the songs. Through the years is Kenny Rogers, I think, at least the one I'm thinking of...You are right, best not to think of them...I remember being on hold on someone's phone at work and a song came on the radio on hold, and I could barely keep back the tears. I don't even remember what song it is now...Oh yeah, now I do, Bryan Adams, Heaven. One of the songs that brings me back to when we were dating.

Have a nice bath--you made me laugh about the 8 min backrub-maybe he'll throw in an extra minute or two-thanks ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Mamafish,

Hey where are you this morning,hope everything is fine.How was your night?Mine was intresting.I got my 8 min massage.It was'nt for my back.LOL.It was a wonderful night.
I really hope its my turn to stay on the track to a full recovery.

I told him about the rings and the vows.I told him i think i really need this.That it will help me even more in recovery.He says we can go look at rings.I said i want the whole down on one knee deal.I told him that i just have to make sure hes not waiting because he has to be sure.He says no way.I make him very happy.I told him we could even just due our own vows to eachother and then sigh them.I'm finding doing it in niagara falls could be around seven hundred dollars.It's worth it but i don't have tha type of money.Then there is always the court house again.See i just want it to be us.I don't want to have to be asked questions from anyone.Just our day.We have a great idea what to do with these old rings.No were not throwing them away just putting them away somewhere for ever.

Did you do some more MB?How was it.Have you taking a day off and still let the kids go to daycare.It would be nice to have a day just for the two of you.If not think about it.

Today another nice day.Maybe 50.I know we will pay for this wheather.Right now i will just enjoy it.Are you going walking today?Thats great exercise.My H and I will start exercing this week.IN the begining of last yr when his A came out we both lost soo much weight.Hes gained it back and me some.We reallt want to get in shape.We will be together for a very long time.

P.S. Did IT have a popular name?Everytime i hear rachel i cringe.The same thing with rome thats where she is from. Just like when i see condoms i get sick.This is because he bought them for us during his A just because at that time he thought ribbed ones would be fun.I now know it was for other reasons.Calling cards make me sick because he bought one.It was never used i ck it.Just wondering if it's just me.

Hope to hear from you soon.I will ck back later.
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Hi #1mom,

I am here now. Glad that you had a very wonderful night!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> That is good that you are talking about rings and renewing your vows. I agree that it would be nice to just be your little secret between the two of you. How about a justice of the peace if you don't want to just do it at a courthouse? My H and I got married by a JP in her house and she only charged us $100--the courthouse can give you a list of the JPs or you can look in the phone book. We got married in March so we had it at her house due to the weather. It was private and just us. I had looked into having it outside on the beach (we are on LI Sound) in a gazebo, but the weather was too cold at that time so we just had it in her house. I'm sure that you could find a JP that would be able to do it near the Falls (have never been there but since you have, you could pick a beautiful spot, or a sentimental one).

I did not walk yesterday but might today. It's kind of rainy here but still mild. I know, the weather will get cold on the weekend, and then we will all get sick due to the change. But I'll take it while it's here. I don't like to ski or anything so do not like winter.

We did not do MB last night. We had dinner late (7) and then were tired from cleaning up so we will do it tonight. We both agreed to put it off until tonight. Good idea about taking the day off and just letting the kids go to daycare. Maybe I will do that on Valentine's day. This time of year is hard for me now because this is when the A started last year. His grandmother died on Feb 11 and we had to go down to VA (where his family is from). This played a part in the A because he was very close to his grandmother and I know he was depressed about her death. I am sure that the OW/IT was trying to comfort him about this also. But we did spend Feb 14th together last year as we were in VA so that may be a nice day to be together.

My H and I don't exercise together--I wrote how he wants to join a gym but hasn't yet. He could stand to lose some weight. I would like to firm up. I lost alot of weight since Oct. Most of the baby weight is gone. Nothing like your H having an A to get you to lose 25 lbs! Not the diet I would have wanted to go on. He told me that he doesn't want me to lose anymore because I will be too skinny. I just would not eat and had no appetite and was losing 5 - 10 lbs a week--too fast.

As for names, hers is Nicole. A name that I always liked. I cringe also. The name of the casino is Foxwoods and I see and hear the tv and radio commercials for it and pass a billboard and I cringe. As for condoms, I bought a box to try in December. I had gone on BC pills, but if you take them too late (you are supposed to take them at the same time every day), you need to use other protection. So, I bought them to have. I bought a variety pack (had never bought them before). So he did not want to use them, said he didn't like to use them. Well, a couple weeks ago he found them and wanted to try them. So we did and he liked them, but I caught him in a lie. He had told me a month earlier that after she got pregnant, he used condoms. But now he said he hadn't worn condoms in years...slimeball. He can't keep track of all the lies he told.

I can't even list all the triggers I have. The worst of all though is thinking about my pregnancy and my daughter's birth. Knowing that he was screwing around the whole time and even after she was born. This has tainted the memory of what should have been beautiful. That being said, this pregnancy was tougher than the other two anyway, mostly due to my age and running after the other two kids, but that is exactly the reason that he should have been around. Instead he chose to leave me alone because he couldn't handle my mood swings, etc.

The cell phone is a big trigger for me because he got one just to be able to call her (under the premise that he would be reachable since I was pregnant, he worked nights, wanted me to be able to call anytime). The first number he called was hers only I didn't know it at the time. He always hid the bills or took them out of the mailbox before I came home. When I did see one, opened it and asked about the numbers, he was in the "fog" as you see here and said all the same things the WS says about snooping, privacy, you don't trust me, etc.

Lots and lots of triggers for me unfortunately. I cannot say her name. I say She and that's it. He also does not call her by name.

Gotta do some work, will check back a bit later.


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Hi #1mom,

Here is a link to something which may help you in your recovery.

http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermon.asp?SermonID=55154

I hope it comes over the board so you can look at it. If no, go to the thead in this forum that is something like What would God do ? or something to that effect.


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Hey girl,
Hope i don'yt lose this one.For some reason my other post got booted.Too many hitting the post botton at once.That stinks i had about a pg written.Now i lost my train of thought.

I hope you get to those questions tonite.Taking V-day sounds great.Maybe a breakfast in bes,then a nice lunch,maybe an afternoon nap.Take it slow.Thats the problem we don't have as much time as we need in this life.Thats why we need to stop wasting it.Enjoy everyday as it comes.

Any weekend plans?Not much here.Maybe play games with the kids.Spend alot of time with hubby.

Sometimes i like to go into and read stories from fromer WS.i want to know how they feel.sometimes there stories insprie me.Some could be so very sorry.I asked once a question a while ago.

Well i think i will go read your joke.Talk to you tomorrow
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Hi there,

Good to hear from you. The joke is funny but I hope people don't take offense to it. A coworker sent it to me and I thought it was kind of funny especially with the Emotional needs part...

Anyway, I'm sorry that your page got lost, I hate when that happens! We will do MB tonight, I will make sure of it.

No big plans for the weekend. We are going to church on Sunday. It's tough to get up for it, but it is worth the effort. It is a non-denominational one. The pastor always has something relevant to our lives--last week he said for us to think of our week and perhaps there is a relationship that we need to rebuild, or we feel like there is no hope, and to pray for strength to carry on.

I also like to read stories from the WS point of view. It does help to understand that they are in alot of pain also. That letter you posted helped me alot even though I haven't read it to H yet. Maybe I will pull it out tonight.

Did you hear that Angelina Jolie is pregnant w/ Brad Pitt's baby? Poor Jennifer Aniston. I feel bad for her. Even with all her fame, fortune, and beauty, she is still the BS. It sucks, no matter how much or how little you have.

Have a good night numberonemom!


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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hEY #1 MOM,

Update - we did NOT do our ENs last night. I told him this morning that we absolutely have to make time to do this. I feel like he is putting off going over the answers now. It's been a couple days. Even though it was another one of those nights where dinner was late, etc. I do not want to keep making excuses for not getting it done. I see a long night ahead of me tonight...


Anyway, I got this quote today and thought of you right away.

“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.” –Emory Austin

This is from that www.changeyourlifechallenge.com I sent you a few days ago. Read the message below. I strongly encourage you to check this website out so that you can continue in your positive direction...


Good morning! Oh the truth in Emory's statement.... how I wish it wasn't so! But it is true - we have natural "highs" and "lows" and some days there isn't a song in our heart. So what we do on those days? How do we embrace life and be positive on the days when the "spark" just isn't there? We do just as Emory suggests - we "sing anyway." And we sing loud enough to wake up that spark.

One of the things cognitive therapy reveals is that when we consistently "act as if" we "become." Sometimes we have to force a behavior in order to do it consistently enough to internalize it. On our "down days" it is more important than ever to engage in behaviors that fight the negativity in our minds and the sadness in our souls.

You don't have to accept a mediocre day. You don't have to accept a mediocre life. In fact, I encourage you to accept nothing but the best. Sure, you will have days that start out "low." Fight back. Sing. In any given moment you have the power to change your day. You have undoubtedly heard the quote "Fake it until you make it." On those "low" days, shout out your affirmations. Write them over and over. Even if they don't feel sincere, keep saying them. Our words have power, and they have the power to transform the mediocre into the magnificent.
*************

Numberonemom, I know that it has been hard for you to let it go and I know that you are really working on trying to do it. I hope that you get outside today and enjoy this beautiful spring day that I hope you are also having. I will try to do that although I do have to run over to Walmart on my lunchbreak.

Have a good day!
Mamafish


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Mamafish,

Good Moring how are you?I have already ben to walmart.I brought back bottles that i have had for months.Some were very yucky.Gee you can tell i have kids(yucky)LOL.

How did your night go?Mine went well.I actully did'nt wake up coughing.Finally i'm getting better.We watched a movie with the kids.I had anixity.After we took a bath it went away.It took a while,but it went away.It's like i want to ask him was see better than me at that point in time.I know it does'nt matter now.Thats what was on my mind yesterday.I just have to keep telling myself it was sex.Fun at the time but not meaning anything.I have to tell myself it don't matter.He wanted you it was always you.That i am happy.Anyway he knew i was tired so he read the full chapter of harry potter,then we listened to music and fell asleep.He is becoming sweeter andsweeter by the day.I just wish this would stick in my head.

I see your near that one casio,i won't name it.Thats not close to NY is it.I know there is one with that name i want to say near niagara falls but on the american side.

I know what you mean about jennifer.I love friends,had to turn it the other day when they said her name (her charater name)Actully my H turned it.It comes natural to him just to change things.

I hope you did questions last night.Let me know how it went.What type of work do you do?I now sometimes babysit but before i had my daughter i worked at a call center for a big bank.I ended up quiting after i got pregnant.Actully i went out on disability when i was 4 months.I ended up having Rhematoid Arthritis and it got worse after she was born.So i don't know if i will go back to work.Sometimes i think this had part to do with my H A .here he was working going to school and i just stayed atv home,while this BIT** worked went to school,made good money like him.They had things in common.Now he sees things from a whole new light.Thank god he woke up.He respects what i do now.I now thing abot going back to school.I just get SSI and am not sure if its possible.

Let me know how you day is.I have to go Hubby should be calling soon.

#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Mamafish,

Thank-you for that quote.I will go to that web site and sign up.It seems worth it.I would like to be inspried everyday.I know i have a bright future ahead of me.I just need a puch.Maybe this is it.

Sorry you did'nt get to your questions.It's hard having little kids.I sometimes want a baby,now more than ever because i can now feel how much love we have for one another,and this baby would bring us closer.Then i look and see we have to great kids now.They are older and can take care of them selves.My H and M have all this time we can spend together.We can now have babysitters.So much easier.I'm stuck right in the middle.

Maybe you guys don't have to go over them together maybe you can just switch papers and go from there.

Well let me go for a bit i don't want to miss Hubbies phone call.He calls around ten every morning.

#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Quickley,I just joined that web site for the news letter.Thanks #1mom


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Hi there,

The casino is near RI not NY border. About 45 min drive from where we are living. I think it's nice that your H switches the tv when something comes on that may remind you (Friends). It shows that he is taking your feelings into account--very important.

Sorry to hear about your RA==that must make it hard for you to do all the work you have been doing all this time. I bet that you are fulfiling your Hs Domestic support needs though. I think that men do not realize what they had until it is gone or almost gone. It' s like they take us for granted until they see how much we do when they finally wake up and almost lost us. The OW in my life could not even deal with her own 2 yr old son and although she had custody (unwed mother), the boy does not even live with her. Her parents take care of him. So H knew that he was not someone who would be able to take care of kids, which is a big thing for him. This is why he knew there was no future for the two of them.

I understand how you feel about having another baby, especially at your age. Since I just had one, I have a different opinion for me, also my age has alot to do with it. Plus this pregnancy was a horror story. I told my H in the ER while I was in labor that this was it, I could not do it again. He would like to have another one. I love having my baby girl, and I think I am enjoying her more as I keep thinking she will be my last one. He hasn't given up on having another one. He says, maybe in a couple years. I say, alot has to change before I will reconsider it. I love this stage for all my kids, but you are right, it's very hard to get time alone w him. That has been a big part of our problem as he has felt like he has come after the kids since our son was born. Partly his fault as he always stressed what a good mother I was and knew I was taking such good care of them.

I know what you mean also about wanting to know was she better than me? I think there is no good answer to that question and although I think of it, I don't know if I really want to know that. He did tell me that it was different with her--just sex not making love like w/ me. I have to make myself just believe it and not try to analyze it too much.

I work in a small manufacturing company in sales and customer service. I enter orders and do quotes for companies on our products. I am at my desk most of the time working on the computer, that's why I can go online so much. I write for a bit, then go do my work and then check back.

As for your OW career woman, it seems like our Hs' got involved in our exact opposites for some reason. I don't think it was that your H had much in common with her. Plus she was married too. You know how Dr. Harley says that the OW fills one or two needs, not all. Our OWs filled the SF need and for my H, I think maybe the Admiration one. I think I'm going to ask him about that when we get into our questionnaires==which needs did she fill for him?

Anyway, I gotta go now. Hope you had a nice phone call. Glad that you are starting to feel better too. Maybe that is why you are having some down days, because you are not feeling very good.

Have a good day
Mama


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Hello,

My H too said it was different and at the time exciting.She fed his ego for soooo long.Probally told him stuff he never heard before.Stuff that probally did'nt even matter or make sence.I am just happy he was so busy with work and school,they did'nt have much time together.Yeah 5 times with sex and a few more with him just being at her house and yes phone calls.It could of been sooo much more.If i did'nt catch on it still could be.He says no,he says he was coming around.I said yeah okay What was the gift for.He said to make him very important.Impress her.Itwas just a total of $25 dollars.I knew were wll the money went at all times.If he wanted more to spend he could of.He did have credit cards.Did'nt use them.It still bugs me.Where did that little time come from.

I think he pitty himself too.Felt sorry for himself.Maybe listening to her problems made him think of his.Blinded him from what was really right there in front of him.That is probally what killed him the most.The women he loved more than half his life did love him and because he did'nt want to take the time to ask or so down and see what i was trying to show him.That he almost lost everything.

This It had one stepkid and one with her H.Get this her D was upstairs sometimes when they did it.Yes shes was a toddler.but stll sleezey.In her car thats dreprate.I told my H never will i even think about doing anything in a car but kiss you goodbye.He says if he ever asks yell no in his face.

Enough about me.So your going to walmart on lunch.I love that store.I live there.Did you put in for V-day yet.I hope you get it.I will go see my H on that day for lunch.I already have two cards for that day.I want to get a couple more.One for the morning lunch,dinner and one for bed time.

How about writting letters.I did this for a while.I would tell him thoughts,feelings.One time i bitc* at him.They can be helpful.

Well i should get some cleaning done.I'll be back later.
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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You're right about the OW telling him things to feed his ego. I'm sure that is the same for my OW too. She was younger than me (only 26) and looked up to him and he was flattered by her interest in him, thinking hey, I've still got it, I can get a young girl's attention. I never really felt my age until this happened. I still feel more like I'm in my early 30s,(you know how you have a mental age of yourself), but to hear she was 26 and then figure out that I'm over 10 yrs older than her, well, it makes me feel so old.

Who knows why he bought the gifts since it was only $25 total. Since she had an H, maybe she complained that he never bought her anything. It sounds like she is pretty messed up too. My friend that knows some of this A told me that maybe my H felt needed by her and tried to rescue her from her problems (since she kept confiding in him and all). Men like to be seen as the rescuer and problem solver. I'm sure that he did not think of his problems when w/ her. Like the Harley books say, the A is an escape from reality where they don't think of anyone but themselves. My H also felt sorry for himself and bad that he stopped trying with me because he was so sure that I didn't care about him. He deeply regrets how he just gave up. He felt like I gave up on him first. Sounds like they are similar. He says that he never meant to hurt me and never meant for me to find out about it. I know that after this whole thing, at least I hope so, that he will not make the choice to go after someone else to resolve his problems in the marriage. I know that we are communicating better than we had been before, so I want to reassure him that I am not leaving him, no matter what the answers to the questions reveal. I think that is a big fear of his that I will leave since we are so new in this whole mess.


I assume that my H and IT always did it at her apt, but as I think about it, I wonder if her son was ever there, did they ever do it in a car or anywhere else. Another qt to add to my list.

I love Walmart too. I am not buying anything exciting--diapers and underwear for my 3 yr old. We are getting out of Pullups (finally!) and need more underwear. I will be glad when this stage is done...

I did not request Valentines Day off yet but I will. The week after, my son is on school vacation so I will probably take some time then also. But I want V Day to be just me and H. I have a card that I bought right after Dday about how he is my soulmate. I never gave it to him b/c I felt like he used to be, but I didn't even know him anymore. So I will reread it and see if it applies now. I have written him alot of letters which he read even though it was hard for him. I think that now he thinks everything is okay because I'm not mentioning it (except when I get mad or upset at something and LB all over the place). I told him this morning that we have to do it. I have to get some of this stuff off my chest. There are too many questions and it happened only 3-4 months ago. We are coming up on my 3 month anniversary of DDay tomorrow, which is Friday the 13th!

well I gotta run now but will check in later.


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
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Mamafish,

Don't worry about the date.Maybe something good would come out of it.

I would like to know how my H could let himself sink that low.He was above this.He knew better.Dam this OW.I know she was younger about five yrs.But she was also short,and fat had earrings all the way up her ears.My H said she would'nt win any beauty contests.He thinks this is all he could get.I said once think about her looks,you paying attention to her in anyway made her feel good.See he has low self esteem,so anything coming from any body made him feel good.She put him on such a peatalstool.He is a great guy,nice always helping people he is goodlooking.Why not have somebody good looking why sink so low.She was a [censored].I hate her.My H hates her.

I'm glad potty training yrs are so over with.My D was trained before two My S about three if not a little older.

My H and I are going to see Air Surply next Thurs,i just bought tickets.They sing that song i'm all out of love.This is the song he recorded for me.I heard they were coming and got tickets right away.I can't wait.

I start getting those e-mails Monday.It sounds like a good web-site.

Now do you have family close.Someone that would babysit?It might be nice to get out once every other week.Even if its just dinner.See i luck out i have younger sisters.Three of them.One even takes them over night at times.

Well i will let you go.I should be back later.
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
Joined: Nov 2005
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Hi,

Maybe your H figured that because she was not beautiful, it would be less risky for him to deal with her. I don't know, maybe we are trying to make sense out of something that we can never make sense of...It just stems that from what I've read on this board and site, that most of the OWs are not very attractive. I have yet to read one story that the OW is more beautiful than the wife. They must have low selfesteem to even put themselves in the position they get in. I think that it has less to do with how the OWs look and more with how they make the H feel. That is what gets their interest first, I think. I know that my H is not the type to just go up to a beautiful woman and start trying to pick her up. That is not his style. But since he was working with her and she got to know him, she was able to stroke his ego...

I know from what my H said that the OW is sleazy and has a bad reputation up there. She has dated alot of the men up there. And I ask myself the same qts since he said that she is no beauty queen either. Makes me wonder why he got involved. For him, I think it was mostly the age thing as he said he thought he was being a player by flirting with her and she was interested in him, but he never meant to take it where it went...at least in the beginning. I want to know how long they were flirting before they met up the first time. My H's family are all in VA and some of them are not speaking to him because of the A. They are on my side and can't believe he would do this to me.

I would love to go see Air Supply, I'm glad that you and H are going. That will be nice for you. Billy Joel is coming to Hartford on our anniversary in March but I didn't get tickets. Can't afford them--too expensive. My mother babysits for us sometimes (like when we go to MC), but she is almost 71 yrs old and her health is not great. She has had the flu for a couple wks so that's why I cancelled the MC appt (partially why). It's tough for her to handle the 3 kids, especially carrying the baby around-that's the toughest part for her. The older kids are easier for her to deal with.

My son was completely potty trained by 3, but my D is a different story. They are total opposites, in many ways. I always thought girls would be easier for this. But then I say,in her defense,that there has been alot of stress this year, with the new baby and her brother going off to Kindergarten, let alone the upheaval between her mom and dad. I have not pushed her along as I did with my S due to all the other things going on in the household. So, part of it is my fault in that respect.

I think you will like the Good morning emails from that challenge website. I do write them down but I don't say them over and over again. But it is nice to have an uplifting email first thing in the morning.

Hope your day is going well.


BW (Me) 39 FWH (41) Married 14 yrs DS 4/2000 DD 12/2002 DD 8/2005 PA 1/05 - 9/12/05 D-Day 10/13/05 Status: Trying to rebuild
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 252
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Mamafish,

I think i'm having a great day.So far.I think the Hubbies liked the attention,did'nt realize how negative it was until they were in too far.The negative atmoshere they work in .The bigger the place the more likely there will be flings all over the place.Where my H went to work was a great big pl.So was the casino.They get into topics that probally could of got them into trouble.(SH)Things that went to far.

My H went back to being a collecter foe a bank.Very small.Your watched all the time.Gee you can't even sell candy or cookies.This is good for him right now.I do think one day he could go and work for a big company again.He wants to be a teacher.Alot of flings there too.

Is your Hubbie having any luck looking for a job?Hopefully he gets one during the day.This way you have eachother at night.

I know what you mean about money.We don't have much.When he went back to this job he lost income.We did'nt care.I put the tickets on credit.I think this was something wen had to do.I won tickets to see journey over the summer.We went,i cryed thru alot of songs.They had meaning to us.Open arms and his song to me when we were younger(FAITHFULLY).I cryed the whole way home.

Anyway,what are some of the things you like to do?My main thing is bingo.Have'nt gone latley.I love it.Even got hubbie into after this mess.We also got onto painting and drawong.My H is great at this.He says it came for me.All from one picture he drew that i loved.Hes been drawing ever since about 9 months now.He gives me the credit for it.

Well my D is hungey,so i'll talk to u later.Have a great night
#1mom


Me BW 31 Him FWH 30 Married 13yrs D-day 12/04 NC right away New job Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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