Just is just another rambling post of mine.

Tomorrow I get to go to court to be divorced. WW seemed to drag her feet, but it really upset me that during the wait she still did things with the OM. I know, it probably is expected just makes me made as I been waiting for finalizing. Now I even have regret, but I went through so much I just couldn't take it anymore. And I long to be divorced to ask out a old friend that came back in my life. See, I haven't done anything yet to feel like I can leave this marriage with honor. And I want to make sure I don't get hurt again and above all I don't end up being the hurter.

Since leaving the house and filing I been feeling better and better (of course, that is being medicated and receiving counseling)

But I am sadden by my DD and DS. I wish I could shield them of all this.

I guess I start to wonder if I tryied enough. From posts in the past I am sure I at least reached the plan B just not strong enough to do it.

I can so relate to what you are saying. I am in the begining of this process. My Husband however, has been caught on a gay website and so now I am stuck...not sure what to do and of course I can relate to the old friend bit because a friend I have been in love with for years has walked back into my life. I so want to be with him but can't because I am still married. But it is not easy to walk out of a marriage. I believe in comittment and all that, but my husband sure does not which makes it hard. and I don't know why I feel so guilty about it.

Hi Mutt,

We all probably wonder if we did all that was possible. I know I think about that everyday. My court date is coming up soon. I still think that maybe I should try one more time to ask WW to come home, but I realize that I have done that time after time, only to be hurt again.

I am proud that you have held your honor and not violated your vows. I know my WW has been dating OM since we separated, but I will not break my vows. I swore before God to put no one before her, and I will not until it's over. I still love her very much, but this is her choice, and I can't do anything to change her mind.

Don't look back and question yourself. If she knows that you love her and was willing to work it out, that is enough. She had opportunity to do the right thing, and decided against it.

Hang tough,

Tired41