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Hurting, I would think if you were still getting some kind of SF that it would mean you were still in the game. I don't know.
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Shattered,
I think I was at that time but not so sure now.....
He did want me to go with him in Dec. and have SF but I told him no, I needed more than that from him.
But I would be willing to bet if I offered with no strings attached right now he would do it..... It ain't gonna happen though .... I am not the OW....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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This is GREAT! Our bed had tons of pillows that we in the past would toss on the floor or to the foot of the bed. I would wake up and my husband would have literally stacked them up as a wall between us. It would drive me nuts. One night I woke up at about 3am andd saw the "wall" and just went banana's. I just started throwing them on the floor and whacked him in the head with the last one. Shortly after that I got the message and just moved to the other room. I had had enough rejection. It is funny now but was awful then. This post has been so funny thank you MILKSHAKE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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I would wake up and my husband would have literally stacked them up as a wall between us. It would drive me nuts. One night I woke up at about 3am andd saw the "wall" and just went banana's. I just started throwing them on the floor and whacked him in the head with the last one. THIS STUFF IS HILARIOUS.... GUYS, WE NEED TO WRITE OUR OWN BOOK.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Julie: What's your status, now? What are you doing pillow-wise? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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We are in the process of divorce. I sleep in another room. he is court ordered to be out of the house but is coming and going as he pleases. He gets all the pillows now but I havn't changed the pillow cases in 6 weeks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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That has to be one of the truest real to life posts I have ever read. That just about hit it all. I think that has to stay to the top of the forum.
BS 37
WW 38
D9
S7
MARRIED 8+ YEARS
D DAY 7/28/05
A 6/05
D papers by bs 9/21/05
OM 46 D for one year
D final 3/27/06
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I've read this one before, it's a killer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> As for the MLC ending... YES, most of them do. If the person was a decent person beforehand, the chances are very high they will return to that. It also depends on the MLCer's choice of "self-medication". Self medication in the form of an OP, alcohol, drugs, etc., complicate and prolong MLC. The more complicated the sitch, the more the depression, the harder it is to come out of it. Info and a great forum at www.fortysixty.org
"No power in the 'verse can stop me."
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Maybe an LB, but I told FWW "Hey I found your script now I knwo what you're doing."
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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I am interested your FWW's reaction to that, Eagle...
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She hasn't read it yet, just said OK I'll check it out. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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I think the usefulness of showing this to the WS is dependent on how deep the fog he/she is. If too deep, then the answer is "I am not doing any of this" as a complete and total deniel. If almost out of the fog, the the answer could be "am I this bad?"
C-
BS-me (40)
WW (39)
DS11 - The true light of my life!
EA (to become a PA on June 9th)
DDay Feb 5, 2006 ("I do not love you")
Real DD March 22, 2006 ("I think I am a lesbian")
Divorce Pending
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Agree, if the WS is too deep in the fog, he/she would not want to do anything suggested by the BS - that might lead to another resentment (how dare you to think "I" have the problem???)
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Ahhhh, but it could be a useful guage, like a tire guage, except for FOG!
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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Eagle: What is the NATURE of your RECOVERY? During the early stages of OUR RECOVERY, it was important for us to be GENTLE and KIND with each other. In agreeing to reconcile, I indicated that I would forgive him and not "BEAT HIM UP" as he called it. I probably would not have encouraged him to read this...too "in your face" THIS CERTAINLY ACCURATELY DESCRIBES HIM..I THINK HE MUST HAVE STUDIED IT SO PROBABLY DID NOT HAVE TO REREAD IT.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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bump <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> just love this thread How do you get star ratings on threads? nevermind...I found it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by confused42; 03/01/06 10:50 PM.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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i actually emailed the excerpt to my xh's business partner's wife...and to my xh's parents...who are also struggling as my xfil has had multiple affairs on her....
and yea, I said in it...seems there is actually a handbook to accompany the crisis now...in case the mlc'ers are too fogged out to figure out which crisis to precipitate next. i said that this is ironically funny, but that it is serious in that people need to put families first.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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I agree with Mimi in that if you present this to your WS too early, it might be too much in his/her face. But I do believe once those former mlcers start to truly recover, they can look at this and might say "#@&%$?/! I was one of them!"
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Nah - showing this, or anything else on MLC, to them has NO effect, believe you me. Fog, remember? How can an MLCer look within? Avoiding looking at the deep dark hole within is EXACTLY what MLC is!
While it's happening, ain't nothin' happening.
"No power in the 'verse can stop me."
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I was ask by a leader in our church to meet with him last night. He ask me a few questions about my husband and then said "Do you think he may be having a MLC?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I cracked up because this came to mind. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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