I think I want to move to “idiotville!!” You people don't miss a thing. I've always felt like I should just 'shut up,' but I never do.

Here’s what she wrote back after the idiot things I said in that letter. What should I do now? I know you won’t pull any punches! This is the least abrasive she’s been to me since I discovered the A. It looks like she’s just planning to fade off into the sunset with OM. I do write her a check each payday to support my DD2 and my DS who live with her. Some of you might puke after reading this but help please!! I am so unwise, but I’m here to learn from you. I have an awful long way to go and obviously I’m not a quick study.

“BS,
Thanks for the check and the note. It is good to see two sides. I was
pretty angry when I wrote that stuff. I still feel a lot of it is true. I guess in some ways I am trying to justify what I did. When it comes right down to it I was vulnerable and weak. Interesting because I was thinking about a lot of stuff....today...things I wanted to tell the kids, especially DS and DD2 right now. One of my thoughts was to go to the Temple often. I think that was something we never did and we were never committed to and so it never became important to me. I never gained a testimony of the Temple. I only remember going when we got married, when I was pregnant with DD1, with my mom and dad and one other time and then to the dedication. I never felt comfortable there...it just felt weird. I have told DS that it will seem strange to him at first but, that they say the more we go and the more
prepared we are to go the more we will gain understanding about it. He
has a very strong testimony...I did not, so I feel he is very prepared to go. I have told DS that once he goes he should stay worthy to go all his life and should go often so that he comes to understand everything.

One of the biggest reasons I moved out was the financial aspect of everything and the other was because of our relationship and OM. It wasn't fair of me to be with you as your wife but not be "with you." That is the part I was saying about needing to heal and to make things right. I lied to you enough to last a lifetime and that wasn't right either. I don't want to sugar coat anything, you deserve more than that and I know that. I don't know what I want.

I do have feelings for you I do love you. I love you as a father, I
love your music...it even made me cry. I love the children we have together...no one can take that from us. We made them together. That is the greatest thing we did and I believe we did very well. I see their greatness that comes from you and I love that. But, I don't feel the passion anymore. I didn't have the passion as you said for a long time. I don't know why that slipped away. I don't see myself in the Temple again....not in this lifetime and I don't want you to wait for me forever. It wouldn't be fair. Please believe me when I say I love you. But, it is a different love I have for you now. I didn't have it 6 months ago...I hated you. I can't blame you for how you feel. I betrayed you in the most hurtful way that I could. I hate that I have hurt you so deeply. I didn't set out to hurt you it just kind of happened gradually.

Tonight DS and I were talking about sin. DD2 was here for the
conversation too. She was talking about a friend and her disappointment in this friend and how she doesn't want anything to do with this friend anymore. DS told DD2 to hate the sin but not the person. He is pretty wonderful, isn't he? I told him he will need to remember that on his mission and in his life. That is what the fullness of the Gospel is about. There are really good people that have great spirituality in their lives but don't have the complete picture. Maybe I will get it in the next life. All I can hope for is that you will love me in-spite of the pain I have caused you. That my kids will continue to love me in-spite of the pain I have caused you and them. I have some concerns about my health too and I need to focus on me. I am not trying to be selfish but the better I am emotionally and physically the better I will be to everyone around me.

Thank you for helping DD2 with the picture....I love it...WW”

Is there any progress here? What in the heck is she doing? Where am I now? Where do I go from here? Thank you.
RoT

river_of_tears.....

I have never posted to you....sorry you have to be here.

Based on all these type of letters that I have seen (including my own!), there is nothing new here.

Sadly, she is running after OM because of "passion" without realizing that that will not last! That is the sad part of all this. The WS leave, turn the lifes of their loved onse into a mess, as well as their own life, for something that is not lasting!

I would say, that you should not read this letter as any BIG sign that your Marriage is improving or failing any furhter. It is typical WS. Not in love with you, need to be with OM, needs to find herself.....type of thing.

Don't let it get to you....I know, easy to say, hard to do......

I hope some of the experts come around soon...weekends can be a little slow.

Best to you....

Daisy

RT, you need to EXPOSE this affair and cut off the money. You don't even have to bother deciphering her fogged out, entitleminded balderdash.

Yes, expose all the way and let her feel the consequences of her choices and of having the extra financial help cut off. If you have worked out support of the kids fine but that is it.

Something that seems surprising to me is that she has the kids. I thought that the BS should have the kids.....

maybe this has been covered already, if so sorry to bring it up again......

Daisy

RT - I have a whole drawer full of letters from my WH. Lately I have been throwing them away though. They all say the same CRAP. Pay no attention to what she says. Instead, watch what she does.