I'd love it if he got a PI at the house, however, I know GF has limited resources and will NEED them all for this upcoming, long, drawn out battle for custody. Although it sounds like a no brainer to us, fact is, there is still a huge bias towards custody to the mother that GF must overcome. He needs to stay away to avoid any more appearance of "craziness". The 5 year old can tell him if anyone came to visit and in fact it may help his case if he does.

2 week restraining order is but a chink in GF's armor. It's a good win for her, but GF is still resolute to win the war. Further, this atrocity is apt to really bring out the warrior in GF. It's P.O.'ed me a ton...I (almost) feel more compelled to smack Viginia Boy around than I did the OM in my own life.

Mr. Wondering

Bring it on!!

In His arms.

Mr.W, I think WAT and MM will beat ya to it! (pun intended) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> You have a board full of people rooting for you GF.

Good points, JustPeachy!!

In His arms.

Good point, Mr. W. But GF has something I had at my disposal...fellow military members!! I used my fellow soldiers to conduct intelligence gathering. Once I got info, then I hired a PI to be there only for the times I KNEW that she and he would be together.

Plus, my guys got countless photos and logs of her and him coming and going, etc.

So, GF...time to call in your fellow airmen.

In His arms.

Agreed. In fact, I think her intentions are fairly clear as evidenced by the emails to OM. She'll be hard-pressed to present her efforts as 'opportunistic' in light of the fact that she's ALREADY said she intended to move out of state.

WS's get in a hurry and they step in 'you know what' when they do. Everything she's done is going to end up making GF's case for him. He just needs to stay calm and focused.

Ed Zachary!!

In His arms.

GF?

Can you post how you're doing today?

Jo

The Protection Order is for my wife and the house. I can't "switch it" so she has to move out, and DD and I can stay.

I did suggest this to my lawyer today though, since she will be negotiating with WW's lawyer this afternoon. I told her to try and get the PO to be only against WW and not the house, that way we don't need to remove DD from the house on the days that she is with me, and WW can just leave for those days.

WW might just agree to it, because she is working really hard to make it look like everything she does is in regards to DD's best interest.

Ohh, and I have read the book that the Wonderings got me cover to cover...and I'm going to do it again.

I had started reading HNHN, but that's taking back burner until the temporary orders are in place. We'll see if she wants to fix things later on...I'm not wasting any of my energy right now on trying to meet her ENs.

no negotiating...your lawyer should be in full out WAR MODE...i mean it...he should have the taste for blood and going full throttle on this...not negotiating with the enemy...it's time for action...

serious action!serious action required.

get a PI. or enlist help from area friends...pi's are best as difficult to trace back to you.

you need to find out if she is breaking any custody arrangement/using you outta house to get OM in the back door and have shack fests with him under same roof as dd...that could MAKE WW LOSE CUSTODY...

but don't fear...WS ARE USUALLY VERY EGOCENTRIC AND ARE STUPID WHEN FOGGED OUT...SHE IS GONNA SCREW UP AND YOU'D BEST HAVE SOME MEANS TO DOCUMENT THAT SCREW UP/SCREW UPS WHEN THEY HAPPEN SO JUDGEY "GETS IT".

Yes, don't bother with ENs.

I believe your goal now is to be a model citizen and model father. This ought to be easy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

As for your wife, just keep your emotions in check as you have been and no angry outbursts, DJs, or demands. She's gonna be digging her own hole deeper and doesn't need your help to look like a spoiled rotten brat and incompetent mother.

Keep your nose clean and don't do ANYTHING that can be twisted against you. When the situation presents itself again, you may have to stomach the OM phone conversations in your face.

WAT

GF:

Yep, HNHN isn't on the schedule at this time. Probably not even SAA, though it can't hurt in drawing up your battle plans.

Main thing is 2 make sure you don't get baited in2 some s2pid arguments.

And since you know she's motivated 2 cruelly manipulate you, it might make sense 2 keep convsersations with her 2 an absolute minimum. In fact, if you can identify an intermediary and have no communication with her whatsoever, that might be helpful.

-ol' 2long

I have a question.

Should Good Father move to Plan B, or should he remain in Plan A?

Jo

He is in neither right now. Plan B is for later. He hasnt even had a chance to Plan A. Right now, he is in limbo, trying to shore up his legal situation. Once that is done, then it is off to Plan A.

In His arms.

The question is...do I want to plan A? I've never been so hurt/humiliated/betrayed in my entire life, and it's because of WW's extreme self interest.

I am so incredibly angry with her right now...I'm sure you all know how I'm feeling.

But I'm not gonna lie (I can't)...Today I have been having feelings of wanting everything to get better between us. Wierd huh?

GF:

I think that's because of the timing and degree of her actions as compared 2 where you are in the post d-day process.

Working with SH or JHC will help you come up with a plan for YOU customized 2 this particular sitch.

The beauty of the MB methods is that they'll help you preserve that love you're still feeling for you WW for as long as possible, so that if/when she ever does pull her head out of her nether regions, you'll be there and still willing 2 reconcile.

But if she never does, and this is the kind of 2rd she is in "real life", you'll still come out of this process an even better father and potential companion for someone deserving of the skills you've learned.

-ol' 2long

GF - Right now you're in Plan "watch your backside and protect your daughter."

In a while Plan A/B might be back on the table.

Many of us have been there, man. Stay squarely atop that moral high ground and watch her screw up. She will. She will.

WAT

Well, WW is going to be meeting with her lawyer for the first time in an hour. She's lied to me a couple times about meeting with the lawyer, filing the paperwork, and even in her petition for the PO, she states that we had paperwork pending at her lawyer's office.

She is such a habitual liar.

I talked to one of my mom's friends last night who has a great deal of experience going throught the Washington state court system in regards to divorce and child custody. She confirmed what my lawyer said that WW could have filed her PO whenever she wanted, and every judge would sign it immediately, pretty much no questions asked since women are perfect and men are violent beasts (in the states eyes).

We're rapists, too. All of us. Especially if we play lacrosse. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And beer leads to heroin.

OK, sorry.

Hang tough GF.

WAT

How do you know this? Is she communicating with you? And if so, I'd strongly suggest you do not particpate.

Maybe an email conduit for DD's sake. But beyond that, I'd place a moratorium on all communications with her.

She is looking for more ammunition and has demonstrated to use anything, twist and morph it, and hammer you with it legally.

Jo