GF:

Right, so the only solution is 2 boink the OM for another night?

Document it ALL, including the timing of the shooting relative 2 the timing of the email.



You sound good.

-ol' 2long

Ahhhhh, okay. That tells you he probably lives just off U.S. 50 (if I remember the number area correctly) in Fairfax County VA. That's a six-lane highway (or it was the last time I drove it...it might be bigger now). It's a major route for folks who work in downtown DC to get to homes in Northern Virginia. It's not conceivable to me they would shut down that artery for any longer than they had to. It would stall thousands of people. Not only that, believe me, 10 minutes from Dulles is a LOT less than 10 miles in that traffic. Put another way, the shooting in Chantilly was a lot further away than 10 minutes from the airport. I'm pretty sure she's lying. GF. She just found a half-way decent excuse and is using it.

uh hem, how are things with your WW home?

Strained.

She says she wants to be friends like we always have been, but she's completely cold and distant, doesn't want to talk to me or anything.

She did let me hug her when I saw her for the first time after she got home, which was great! But, things are back to the same old same old.

I get the sense that there was a little trouble in paradise on Monday, but she won't say what it was. When we talked on Monday she said that she was having a bad day, and later told me she went tanning to get away for a little while.

But, it was just a little speed bump, they were back on the phone talking to each other for a couple hours last night.

We did go out to dinner as a family, but she was just interested in what people had said about her...specifically my family. We didn't really talk about much else.

She told me that I need to talk to someone because it's not healthy for me to remain attached to her since we will never be back together.

I just told her that we used to have an amazing love for each other, and we can have that again; she insisted that we can't.

Chipping away...I'm just going to keep doing what I can to remind her of our initial love for each other, and show her what she'll be getting if she stays with me and DD. Plan A <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

GF:

Good, continue 2 do as good a plan A as you can. But keep documenting everything, and read all you can about plan B, and be prepared. Also, look up Gramn's thread and learn from his story.

Again, hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

-ol' 2long

For how long do you plan to PLAN A?

You do know there needs to be a time limit, no? Else you become an enabler.

Jo

She wants to live together for the next six months to get our financial situation under control. The trial date for the LS is in August though.

As long as nothing wierd happens at the trial I will continue to plan A for the six months that she wants to live together.

That will put us at the end of October or beginning of November. At that point, I will start plan B, but logistics are going to be difficult. I don't want to move away from DD...if I do that'll really hurt my position.

The August trial is basically for the court to see if we've come to an agreement outside of the court system. If not, then the "real" trial date will be set, which is usually 6-8 months later.

If you are clean-shaven >>> grow a beard

if you are a button-down-shirt guy >>> wear Hawaiian shirts

if you are a rock&roll guy >>> start listening to classical

mix it up

shave your head

do something really interesting and exciting the next 6 months

take rock-climbing lessons

take tango lessons

get out of the house and go places (always invite WW ... but go anyway if she turns down your offer)

get busy

have FUN

with Plan A and experiment with your daily routine

Pep

How are you getting your financial situation under control with her buying plane tickets to fly across the country to visit her boyfriend?

Is that part of your financial agreement? That she can continue to do what she wants?

I agree with 2th Pep and Lexxxy on their points.

besides, beards and Hawaiian shirts go 2gether really well!

Why let her call all the shots re timing before you go 2 plan B? I would think that lining up an intermediary between now and August would make sense, followed fairly quickly with a dark plan B in August or September timeframe.

And really... I mean REALLY. With her spending a small 42ne on flying 2 boink the OM, I would think you'd want your finances separated sooner rather than later.

-ol' 2long

Our finances are separate now.

Her being an accountant, I told her to make a detailed spreadsheet outlining all of our monthly payments and our overall debt.

She then splits the payments based on our income...she makes 62% of the household income, so she pays 62% of the total. Ohh except for the phone bills...I only pay 38% of the basic charge; I'm not paying for any of the long distance, because I don't make any LD calls. Anything left of her paycheck after she pays the 62% is hers to use...just like what's left of my pay after I pay my 38%. I choose to take DD to the movies and have fun with my left over money...WW chooses to fly off to be with OM.


It all gets documented.

I don't know how I'd look with a beard! And I'd have to shave it off every month for my reserve weekends...don't know how much of a beard I can grow in a month, I've got kind of a "baby face" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

It's my birthday in 2 days...maybe my birthday present will be that she opens her eyes and realizes that I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread and wants to fix us! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hey a guy can dream right?

go to a barber with 3-4 day's growth

ask for a goat or a close but not clean-shaven trim

shave 'down there' and go from briefs to boxers, or visa versa

the point is

mix it up
& have some fun

Pep

Sounds good!

Though she is going to think I've lost my mind <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

I've been in the military for a couple years longer than we've been together...any change in my appearance is probably going to look quite drastic to her...she's only known me as short hair and clean shaven!

Current happenings:

WW is dog sick and eating a lot. She still looks great, but she looks like she's gained a little weight. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if she's pregnant. That would be pretty darn upsetting for me concidering I got a vascectomy so she wouldn't get pregnant again, and figured we would adopt if we wanted another child.

Now that I've got that out...we're heading up to Vancouver BC to visit the MIL for the weekend. MIL wants to do a nice dinner for me for my B-day, and we figured we'd do Mother's day up there too.

I sneaking little suspicion occured to me, that maybe WW and MIL would force me out of the house, and keep DD there. So I emailed my lawyer and she told me about a cool little agreement between the States and Canada called the Hauge Convention, that deals with the international child abductions.

Basically if WW tried that, the US would work with Canada to get DD back into the states (since she's a US citizen and does not have dual citizenship) and then I would get custody.

WW was trying to get DD dual citizenship, but since she's been with OM, she's not followed through on anything...didn't even bother to get DD registered for Kindergarten on time. So, the dual citizenship thing never happened.

I highly doubt she would try it, but the thought did cross my mind, so I thought I'd share what I've learned. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

dog sick

eating a lot

gained a little weight

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

What would you do if she IS pg?

I know what I'd do.

WAT

I know what I'd do, 2.

-ol' 2long

Pardon me gentlemn, but that is a lot easier to say if it's not you and your own situation.

Any call in this matter is strictly Good Father's....and we should respect it without judgement.

- Kimmy

Kimmy - that's EXACTLY why I said, "I know what I'D do."

Not what GF ought to do.

OK?

WAT

Totally okay.

Just a little sore spot to me. Even now I hear, "I'd never have done THAT..."

Truth is, most DON'T know for sure, until they're tested by the fire.

I was one of the "I'd nevers..."

Sorry for the TJ, GF.

(((((((((GF)))))))))))))

- Kimmy

I understand, Kimmy.

I can't say for sure what I'd do if, say, my PG WS was remorseful, was already in NC, was playing the role of committing to the marriage, we already had another child, had run over the OM in a truck, etc. - the opposite of GF's wife. Can't say what I'd do in that scenario.

WAT