I feel like I have been on a rollercoaster went from almost completing a divorce to sort of putting it on hold for the moment.

My spouse balked at counseling in the beginning, but finally gave in and we have been to three sessions. She is recommending at least 6 months of therapy before trying to live together - to make sure we are going in the right direction. I agreed because my spouse is wishy washy one day he wants theis then a week a change so I did not want to upset my children - they have been through so much. Overall has been going well. My spouse is receptive and hopefully will grow to understand and hurt.

The other woman - how do you get them to leave us alone? He told her that he was going to try to work it out with me so she needed to leave him alone. Well, she has been sending him text messages since that date- on occassion. The first was that she was mad, angry and hurt by him and she could not believe that she wasted a year of her life. I felt like saying - I am the only one who can complain about wasting time - mu husband did agree with that one. Then she said she was going to tell people what he did. This happened at work - so he could have something happen, but it was completely mutual and she changed locations so I really do not think she can do anything. Well, since then she has tried to call him and send more messages. Last night she called again, but did not leave a message. He is telling me that he is not taking her calls. I said maybe you just need to send her a text message that says thanks for you concern, but I need you to quit contacting me. But he does not want to make her angry because he is afraid that she might make trouble at work. I am just a little fed up because I think she is trying to be nice now and trying to get him back.

She was nasty in the beginning and that turned him off and now I think she is trying another approach. I think they intially got in a little huff and she said go back to your wife, not thinking that he really would and he did and now she is mad at that.

He seems like he wants to be with me, but I still have my doubts. I guess time will tell.

Just wanted to let you know of the change and any suggestions - just taking it one day at a time.

Thanks.

D

Hi D,

I just posted about my H's OW also harrassing us. Please read my post titled Help-ex lover is harrasing us... It might get worse with the OW, so read the advise that I was given by some great people here on MB. Let me know if you need any help, and hang in there..I know exactly how you feel..

D

Funny you should respond I was just reading your post and all the woonderful information.

Best of luck..

I know I am not an expert at this. Far from it. That's why I'm here, but at least I know how you feel and I hope you realize that we both have a second chance, and I do not want to blow it. I just want OW out of our lives for good. I love everyone's advise. Thanks for your response on my thread..I answered your ? there.

D

I really do not know the specifics about why he moved out, but I did not kick out my H..It has given us a chance to work on things and he is at home with me. Is there a chance you would want him to move back in? I know the counselor said you should be apart for about 6mos, but I think it is better to have my H home where he can work on our M and see that I want to too...