Hi,

I am new here, and I don't have any more of a clue about a successful relationship than what I am beginning to learn about here on this board, and in the literature written by Dr. Harley.

I do feel however, a great need to offer what I can, so I can be an active participant in this new way of life.

Right now the only thing that I have to offer, is a recent account of troubles in my relationship, that may help serve as a reminder to those who may be feeling like they can rest on their laurels, or who have become too comfortable.

Let me start by saying that I sit alone in an empty house, that used to be filled with three children and a wonderful woman. Now it is myself, a depressed dog, and a cat that does nothing but meow.

I have been alone here for the last two months. At times, I feel as if I am going out of my mind. Other times, I cry and carry on as if my world ended. I pray daily, and read anything I can get my hands on that will occupy my mind, and keep apositive influence coming in. I have great unmanageability in my life, and I truly believe that the only thing keeping me going right now, is the grace of God.

If I can back up for a moment. What got me in this situation to begin with was an altercation between her and I. My mouth kept spouting off the most vile things imaginable. Nothing was taboo, and I took the opportunity to attack her in every possible way verbally. This wasn't the first time, but it was the last. And worst!

Over the course of the last two years, she was my lover, my friend, my whipping post, my scapegoat, my heart, and my heartache. We obviously had some success in the relationship, and I am not all bad, yet the love busters I am reading about were in full force. Demands/Angry Outbursts/Disrepectful judgments. How many times would she tell me, You can build the most beautiful things, and then get in the bulldozer and smash the crap right out what you just created.

In my mind I could justify what I was doing, and rationalized that if only she would understand me, then we could get along better. Think before you speak she says. I thought she was nuts, I always did think before I spoke, only what I thought of was how to get my point across to her so she would do what I wanted.

There is so much more to this, but this is a small reflection of where I am at right now, and as you read this, you will know that out in cyberspace, there is a man that is in desperate need of teaching, and instruction in the way of a successful, God headed relationship/marriage.

I appreciate all your prayers, and I hope that this small contribution is helpful to someone.

Thanks for listening to me