Hi I have been married for 9 years and found out about a year ago that my husband was having an affair it had already been going on for about a year when I found out since then we have tried to make things work but eventually he moved out we live on a farm so he was still on the same property living with his mother I eventually got tired of him coming and going as he pleased to visit me or the children (f19, f17, m12) or just for sex so I moved to a house in the suburb He still contacts me and also wants sex and he knows that I will do anything for him and he seems at times to take advantage of this In the last couple of years I have changed and he said that he really likes me and cares about me he is attracted to me and all sorts of nice things he said he could fall in love with me if he met me now but he cant get over the past he said he married me for the wrong reasons and cant see himself spending the rest of his life with me I showed him all the info from marriage builders and he said he was impressed he said the problem was that he didnt want to try any longer I just dont know what to do I cant give up as I still think there is a chance for us to be together am I dreaming of should I carry on waiting. He said that he wanted a divorce but he doesnt know if it is the right decision so we havent done anything as yet PLEASE HELP ME I AM DESPERATE

Welcome to marriage builders. Try posting on the General Questions II board. That is where the experts are.

The most important thing is for the affair to end, and we can help you with that. Once the affair ends, he will be able to work on the marriage.

Is the other woman married?

I think that the affair is over but I dont know what to believe anymore. The other woman got divorced about a year ago her ex husband works away a lot but when he isnt working he stays with her and her 5 children he is here for about 3 months at a time I have heard that they are trying to work things out but I also dont know if I should believe this