MrMom- congrats on recognizing the right answer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Think of it this way - you're doing your relative a HUGE favor. You're helping him/her to be better able to help themselves.

You're not implying that if you weren't Christian, you wouldn't know, right? Just checking.

hold the phone ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

there are some serious thinking errors afoot

Why would it be your place to call the MP's Spouse?

because that is what decent people do ... protect the innocent !

How would you feel if all backfired?

backfired HOW?

That you made a mistake and that relative is not havning an affair with the MP.

then no harm, no foul ... "oops... I was wrong... I apologize"

First of all, it's no ones business but those two people involved.

WHOA NELLY !!!!

are you ever mistaken !!!

infidelity is nasty

as nasty and hurtful as other forms of abuse

are you seriously thinking that no one should report abuse ???

For someone to but in and make a big deal about it is asking to get hurt in the long run.

decent people step in to stop abuse of an innocent victim even if there is no personal reward ... it's a MARK of good CHARACTER

You could possibly lose that relationship with that relative and you could destroy a marriage.

WTF? the AFFAIR destroys the marriage ... not the truth being brought to light.

If that relative is an adult you need to let them make their own decision about life choices.

and allow the relative to become involved with the abuse of an innocent victim ???

I know that personal silence, in the face of an obvious evil, is lazyness & selfishness & is a mark of immature moral development

That is the only way for them to learn about life lessons.

YOU either have no children of your own or you are a terrible parent if you do ... because it is not necessary to allow people to use heroin just because they have that choice & they might learn a lesson if they do...

INFIDELITY is poison just as sure as heroin is poison

infidelity poisons a person's soul

I know from a past experiece that you can not before you leap. Not everything seems like it looks.

bad is bad
ugly is ugly
sin is sin

if adultery were not ugly
people would not mind being exposed

!!!!!!!!

Maybe they are just close friends and that's all.

in that case, then a phone call is simply a false alarm ... no harm done.

Would calling the MP's Spouse be worth losing that family member?

what do you mean "losing that family member" ?? are you thinking that family members are immune from the truth in life?

makes ZERO sense

I think that it could very well unleash a firestorm. One that could burn forever and never to be put out.

nothing burns forever
especially not infidelity

this exposure is not lighting the fire
it is splashing cold water on the fire

So, I would tell this relative to think long and hard before making any phone calls because really and truly it isn't any of their business.

infidelity is poison for the soul

family needs to step in when any member is taking poison & say

"STOP TAKING POISON ... it is making you sick & you are geting addicted."

They need to stop nosing around in peoples business and tend to their own business.

[b]family is "business"

when (if) you have children

you may see things differently

would (do) you sit quietly if your spouse was shooting heroin ??? or is that your business <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Pep <~~~ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I maybe new to this forum, but I know right from wrong. First, if there is no evidence of an affair it is not right to call the MP's Spouse. You need to have all your facts in order before doing so. What if someone done this to you? How would you feel? For someone to interfer in somebody elses business just goes to show that person has no life and is nothing but a scorned person out to seek revenge. Let that person handle their life the way they see fit and butt out. And no, it's noone's business but the relative and the MP. You have the right to have friends no matter what sex they are. If any of you think other wise then you are stuck in a time warp. I also maybe young, but I'm old enough to have experienced this im my life. I have someone in my life that thinks they should meddle in my business and try to keep tabs on me when in fact their own marriage is suffering. They are so intent on catching me do something wrong that they have spread vicious lies about me and this person is suppose to love me unconditionally. For this they are being cut out of my life completely and will never be forgiven and yes this person has unleashed a firestorm and it will be a cold day in H*ll before it gets put out. And like the old saying says What Goes Around Comes Around Twice As Hard!!!!

Tantrum. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

So then you are the third wheel on what should be a bicycle.

I am sorry to hear that. Those of us who have lived through infidelity would do anything (legal) to prevent someone else from suffering the same pain we have suffered, even if it is being caused by a beloved relative.

Having a struggling marriage is no excuse for failing to do what is right - telling the adulterer's spouse.

I hope you realize that by saying "What Goes Around Comes Around Twice As Hard" means that you have condemned yourself with your own mouth, and that someday what you have done will come back to haunt you.

Thank you for being brave enough to come back here, even if you don't (yet) agree with what has been said. People have posted to you because they care, and would spare you, as well as the innocently victimized spouse, further heartbreak.

Neak is so right- what goes around does come around and honey, if he cheats with you is going to cheat with you- you have that to look forward to.

You are so wrong if you think it does not involve his spouse.

If it is such an innocent 'friendship' why are you sneaking around?

You my friend are an other woman. It is to bad for you and it is even worse for the spouse.

The relative that snitched on you has high standards. Too bad you didn't get those in the gene pool.

And we are not in a time warp because we don't believe in friendships with the opposite sex. Not at all. We just do not have our heads up our rears- we see thinks for what they really are.

Too bad you don't have the moral decency to treat someone else's family with respect and keep yourself out of it.

So this "unconditional" love that you demand for yourself does not equate into unconditional love for your relative? She is not entitled to what you demand?

hmmmmm

I think you have unconditional love confused with unconditional acceptance.[to which you seem to think only YOU are entitled] Sounds to me like you got busted in an affair and are angry that your relative busted you. If that is what has happened here, then she does love you. There is nothing "loving" about helping you hide your dirty secrets.

Don't worry, you will get over your little "firestorm" if you ever grow up. No one likes to face the consequences of their bad behavior but it is all part of growing up.

Back to the original question, I'd contact the BS and also warn of the relative's instability and the possible physical danger to him/her. Could turn into a bunny boiler.

Sound the foghorn. It's real foggy in here. Can't even see the fog in front of her nose.

I mean, wow, such anger over a 'friendship'.

You know the old saying, where's there's smoke.....

Lost_Love, you need to cut things off immediately with your married person. Write a letter saying that you respect yourself too much to continue any longer in an affair with them, and that you will never communicate with them again in your life.

Then go find a decent SINGLE man/woman who can give you their whole heart, not just a tiny piece that's left over from their spouse.

Adultery is ugly. You just will not have your integrity back until you take yourself out of it.

Mr. Mom, I hope it helps in your difficult situation to know that you have been able to help others. Good job!