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[color:"blue"] You have a butterfly in yours. [/color] <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I wondered what that fluttering was ..... oops back to your regular scheduled program <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [color:"red"] HotChiliPepper[/color]
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TH, bubs, pardon the tj, but I can't resist.
Pep
I was gonna say
you've got God's fire in yours
But that opened the whole enchilada up to comments about creams and such....
So there.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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sooooooooooooooooooo
did'ja call the Harley counseling center yet???
might as well deal with the best
Pep
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Mr. Troubled H.
Just some thoughts here from a BW who WENT THRU THIS but did not end up recovered.
You will end up like my xh if you don't watch it...
it is/was a very sad sitch. you can read up on me to see where this went...
Please work hard to recover your M.
Your W is sad, numb, and maybe in shock. I know I was. Our "ow" he married, (there were two ow he had) got pregnant deliberately when she thought she was losing my then H. She upped the ante to get him away from me...and from our family.
I was not able to stay married to him. His lies were too much...and the ow gave a huge ultimatum...when the D is final, marry me or else...lawsuits and the such.
So he married her.
Not happily ever after.
They're married for two years...he has had at least FOUR DOCUMENTED NOW AFFAIRS...one for six months of his married again life, with a woman who's a dead on lookalike for ME. Me ten years earlier when we married.
He is miserable.
my child, his ds, knows what his dad is about and it's really sad...he knows this without any involvement b/c this wonderful little boy saw everything happen before his little eyes.
Please stop, don't look back, and do the brave thing. Seize your family and wife again. They are your committment. And work with harleys here to accomodate a good parenting plan for OC...AND INVOLVE YOUR W IF YOU WANT HER TO REMAIN YOUR W...she needs to feel loved and she needs to learn how to trust again.
Her world has crashed around her.
I know this feeling.
It has taken me two years to get to good.
And I am divorced.
But do remember the flip side....Your A is a fantasy. If and when you shacked up with ow for a long while, your M would start to look equally as good too...maybe better than the A!..the truth. And if you leave your W? What about when SHE HEALS? Are you ready to willingly rip up your family and then find another man taking YOUR PLACE? My xh wasn't too keen on this part...he still isn't.
but he's lost his real wife forever. gone. and it's sad.
and it was SAVEABLE.
It just was more fun for him to "live the fantasy" for a short while. Sad sad sad.
Learn from his mistakes.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Dear justpeachy ,
Your words do ring in my ear.
TH
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CALL THE MB Counseling Line. Don't wait.
Keep reading. Don't wait. You guys need help yesterday.
You need hope.
You need a path out of living ******.
Been there, done that.
J
Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person. -Mother Teresa
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Yeah, just tell her TH that a pack of BW's have been beating up on ya. She'll be ok then. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Troubled H~~
Good for you! Communication is certainly one of the keys to keeping your M going, for sure. As I look back, tt's one of the things that broke down in my M. Communication is probably higher on your EN's list that you originally thought. As long as you two can talk, there's hope!
--- CalifWoman
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TH - I'm very happy to hear that you and your wife were able to sit and talk. I truly wish you nothing but the best.
April - Affair
May - OW tells H that she's pregnant
June - OW's H calls to inform me of affair and pregnancy
August - Present - Working diligently on marriage. In counseling at church.
December - OC Born - NO CONTACT!
May - DNA TEST NEGATIVE - MY H IS NOT THE FATHER. THANK GOD.
My new Title - BS w/ OCS (Betrayed Wife with Other Child Scare)
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NO contact (with OW, not OC) is the cure for your woundedness
let me ask you ... are you a spiritually inclined man? How about Mrs T? Is she a spiritual woman?
pep
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If you are here, then you have found my posts. I know what you are about to read is going to be painfull. I never thought in a million years that I would ever tell you about what I was posting. I made the decision that it was more important that you get the support of this group than to try and avoid you seeing the brutal honesty about how I felt at the time of these postings. I know I still have a long way to go, but this group has helped me , I know they will help you too. Yes it is going to be VERY PAINFUL!!!!!! It is going to tear her heart out!!! TH be ready for her reaction!!! And stand there and take every little thing she does and say...... do NOT make excuses!!!! Look her in the eyes and tell her your sorry for the pain that you have caused her But it is important that she does know, she needs to know what she is up against. I wanted to know every single dirty little part of it and with every word that came out of his mouth about it my heart tore more and more.... but I had to know And remember now you have to hear about her pain, you will hear things that will hurt you, things that will make you feel guilty for your actions. Listen to her! Put yourself in her shoes like she will you once the shock wears off. Putting yourself there will help you understand her feelings. Putting it out on the table is good, the foundation is broken, you are finding the cracks in it, laying it out is fixing the cracks.... building a stronger foundation. A foundation that will last thru anything!! I am glad that you guys talked. Did you really listen to her? TH what about your boys???? I am worried about them too do they know about the A? The OC? Your feelings show thru with your OC but what about your COM??
Last edited by thunderstorm; 06/22/06 12:30 PM.
When you learn to forgive someone who has really hurt you and forget the wound that they have caused, then you truly love that person.
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Thunder, where did he post that?
I have it from his wife (from an email) that she prefers NOT to post online.
For her privacy's sake, please take her name off that post!
Other than that, you've hit the nail on the head right there! I was worried about his little men, also.
TH, new babies are just that, new. She'll always be your princess, but you've got some princes to brag on imo. You probably do, but you haven't much here.
Gracias,
Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Kimmy
read the first post on this thread ... it was changed...
Pep
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Then Lance...just to make your wife feel safer, could you change it?
She's having a booger of a time already. KWIM?
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Ok it is done..... happy to do it
didnt realize..... SORRY :-(
But like pepper said it is on the first post.... when I clicked on the thread it brought me straight to it like always to go to the newest update
When you learn to forgive someone who has really hurt you and forget the wound that they have caused, then you truly love that person.
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well al-right-y then I can now tell you that I am sending my "standard brand" prayers ... knowing you are not doing this~~~> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> when you read prayers are being sent for you everydayumday LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Pep
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>I LOVE ALL MY CHILDREN EQUAL
That's a dern lie.
I'll tell you why....
Every child is different. Every child has a different specialness to you. Each one is your favorite because of his/her differences.
My grandma told me that once. She always said it was a foolish thing to cookie cutter your love...because that belittles the unique-ness.
Think of it like this...none of them are replaceable....because they are each matchless unto themselves.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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